Frustrations
by AngelEddison
Summary: COMPLETE! Sara offers Grissom an interesting deal, will he take it? And what happens when feelings get in the way? Rated M to be safe. GSR and some Greg/Sara friendship in later chapters. Please read and review!
1. Frustrations

A/N: Just something that popped into my head

**A/N: Sorry everyone, I know it's been forever since I updated this. Who thought being a single mom was easy?? I'm lucky to have gotten this far in 4 months. The baby is doing great. She's awesome and I'm totally in love with her. She's my inspiration for writing, well, when she'll let me anyways. **

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing in regards to CSI, but my daughter thinks that Grissom is her father, so does that count for anything? Seriously, she responds to his voice so I told her that it would be lovely if he'd be her dad and then we'd both be happy.**

**Anywho, back to what's important – my sucky story. Sexual content so be warned it's rated M for a reason. It's not beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Feel free to hit that lovely little review button at the bottom and tell me what you thought.**

**Okay so now that I've gone on for 3 paragraphs, how about that story!**

**- Frustrations -**

**Chapter One: Tension**

Visions of skin melting against each other, films of sweat, hot tongues exploring every inch of body, hands roaming in a desperate attempt to feel everything it craved, soft whispers, low murmurs and ardent pleas filled her mind once again. For the tenth night (day) in a row, Sara Sidle awoke breathless and sweaty, and again, alone.

"This is getting ridiculous!" She yelled to the still and quiet room as she threw the blankets back and stormed off to the bathroom for what would be yet another cold shower before work.

Work. That was not helping her either. More like adding fuel to the fire having to work side by side with the very object of her daily desires. He was killing her, simply put.

Things between them had been going well. Their friendship was getting back on track, but as with their friendship came the outlandish amount of flirting and innuendo, therefore the uncanny sexual tension between them was back and stronger than ever.

Tonight was no different. As she worked her way to the locker room about an hour early for shift, and desperately trying not to think of anything remotely sexual, she was caught dead in her tracks when she opened the door. There, in all his glory, stood Gil Grissom, renowned entomologist and love of her life, shirtless. Shirtless and standing before her already sexually frustrated self, to just add more of that proverbial fuel to the very real fire starting up again within her. Instantly the images from her dreams came back in a rushing flood, along with some memories of a time long ago, that neither ever spoke of since she had arrived in Vegas.

_Skin, sweat, tongues, hands…Stop it! Get a grip Sara! Think! Distraction…If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have 1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar…The surface area of an average-sized brick is 79 cm squared…According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction. Great! And today is Monday!_

"Uh, Sara?" Grissom asked with an amused grin watching her try very hard to divert her attentions after he had called her name several times with no response. It was actually quite flattering that she was having such a struggle.

Suddenly realizing that he was talking, she startled a bit and raised her eyes away from his chest to look at him face to face.

"Huh?" _Oh yeah, you graduated from Harvard. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

"You were zoning out there for a second." He calmly stated while trying to hide his smirk, unsuccessfully. As the blush began to climb up her neck to settle on her cheeks he had to turn away to keep from out right laughing. To say that he was enjoying her discomfort would be an understatement. Truth be told, he was just glad to have the attention diverted from himself.

If only Sara knew just how troubled he'd been in the last two weeks, how many times he had awoken moaning her name only to have to change his sheets and subject himself to yet another cold shower.

"I uh…uh…I'm just…" She attempt speech, but it was definitely not easy with him still standing there, bare chest on display.

_He still looks just as amazing as he was back…_

"Sara?" He asked when she didn't continue and her eyes fell again to his exposed flesh. Again, he couldn't help but smile. He, Gil Grissom, had rendered her, Sara Sidle, speechless. That merited celebration.

"I'm sorry. Um…could you…uh…um…maybe, you know…put a shirt…uh, on? Please?" She asked shyly, trying to avert her eyes from him again and knowing it wasn't working. Nor was her effort at trying to hide the increasing blush to her cheeks, or the throbbing she felt between her thighs.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry about that." He replied sweetly, innocently, turning into his locker to hide the amusement clear on his face. Then slowly, and tantalizingly he turned back to her and slid the tight t-shirt on.

_Oh good God. He has to wear THAT! This is going to be a very long night._

"Sara? Are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh, uh…yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." She answered absently, fidgeting nervously with her hands before making a mad dash for her locker.

Lost in her own thoughts of that fateful Monday self-destruction, Sara failed to notice that when she bent down to retrieve something from the bottom of her locker, that Grissom was staring at her, fixated on the way her black pants clung to her butt and the way her shirt rode up slightly exposing the milky white skin of her lower back.

_She has to bend over like THAT?! _

_Okay Sara, get a grip! Work. Work. Work._

"Uh, Griss, if it's alright with you…" She began speaking into her locker, but then stopped when she turned her face to see him, only to find his eyes not focused on her face. Taking advantage of his current eye placement, she let her eyes drop to the ever growing bulge in the front of her supervisor's pants. Now it was her turn to try and keep her amusement in. Pursing her lips and outwardly blushing she turned her eyes back to his face, to find him still fixated on her female figure. "Uh, Griss?" She called, trying to snap his attention away from her body, feeling suddenly very exposed. When he still seemed to be lost in his male mind, she stood up and yelled. "Grissom!"

_Despite what anyone would think, Gil Grissom is just another man._

"Huh? What?" He asked fearful of the tone in her voice and instantly snapping his eyes up to hers and then just as quickly down casting them to his shoes.

"Grissom. Are _you_ okay?" The amusement in her voice wasn't as easy to mask as the smirk on her face, but she didn't mind all that much. Making him feel as uncomfortable as she was seemed worth it.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Uh, why do you ask?"

"Well you, uh, just seemed to be a bit…distracted…there for a minute. Did you even hear me?"

"Hear you?"

_Shit! She was speaking?_

_Well it's kind of hard to listen when you're staring at my ass._

"Yeah, I was asking you a question…"

"Oh, um…no. No, I didn't. I'm sorry. What were you asking?" At least he brought his eyes back up to her face, but it was very obvious that he knew he had been caught.

"Well…I was just going to ask that if it's not too busy tonight I'd like to try and finish processing the cars we brought in on the Burlow case yesterday." _Hmm, this should be fun. If I'm going to be tortured all night, might as well include him on it._

"Oh, um, yeah, yeah. That should be fine. I'll send Catherine and the guys on any new calls that come in." _Great, now not only am I going to be seeing her all night, but she'll be wearing those coveralls. This is going to be a very long night. Well, if she's going to torture me all night, I can do the same to her. _"Mind if I give you a hand?"

With a satisfied smile, she responded. "_That_ would be great." Grabbing the coveralls from her locker, she slung them over her shoulder, closed the metal door with a clang and walked straight to Grissom. Placing her hand on his chest, teasingly letting her fingers trail over the soft fabric of his shirt, she smiled seductively and whispered, "So, I'll meet you in the garage?"

Unable to form even the smallest of coherent sentences, Grissom simply nodded dumbly, too focused on the feeling of her fingers against his chest. He could remember many mornings waking up to that sensation with her, a very long time ago.

_Don't go there Gil. It's in the past._


	2. Active Teasing

Chapter Two: Active Teasing

**Chapter Two: Active Teasing**

Twenty minutes later Grissom walked into the garage to find no one in sight. The stereo was on, the car was there and Sara's kit was on the bench, but no sign of her. Well, not until he stepped closer to the car and saw her on her hands and knees in the backseat, her attention clearly focused on something she found on the interior of the door. He couldn't help but commend her on her ability to switch focus so easily and be completely professional when the time merited it. He sure as hell wasn't having as easy a time doing so, especially with her positioning in the car. The way she was leaning forward to collect her evidence was giving him a clear view down the opened collar of her coveralls – to which he was now sure that there was nothing underneath. The surges through his body at the sight made him audibly gulp.

Hearing the noise from Grissom, Sara inwardly smiled and raised her eyes to his. His however were not looking at hers, but much lower. Now she couldn't hide the smirk as she raised her hand slowly and lightly tapped her fingernail against the glass of the back seat window. She was quite sure she'd never seen his head move so fast before as he snapped his vision upwards to meet her eyes.

_Yup, this is definitely working._

"Uh…I…I…umm…you…and, and, and…umm…and I…"

"You what?" She teased as she leaned forward a bit more and slowly rolled down the window, giving him even more skin to see.

"Uhh…I…umm…" _Want to take you right here right now? _"Uh, what do…uh…you um, have, uh…there?" He stuttered avoiding her gaze and then tried to point at whatever evidence she had just found, but with not looking at her, his directionality was a bit off and he ended up not pointing to the evidence at all.

With a smile displaying her great mirth at his carelessness, she looked down to where he was actually pointing. Changing her expression to one of complete seriousness and her tone to one that screamed 'duh,' she looked up and responded.

"Well Grissom, those would be boobs. Great scientist like yourself, I would have thought you knew that." She had to quickly look away to keep from laughing when his head spun around to see where he had been pointing, a look of sheer horror and then embarrassment on his face before quickly dropping his hand.

"I…uh…"

"Yeah, we've established that already, a few times in fact. Now if you're done looking down my coveralls for a minute, I think I may have actually found something probative to the case." She smiled as she placed a long hair into a plastic evidence bag and handed it out the window to him, and again the position of her body was less than ideal for his professional façade.

"I…uh…yeah…you're good. I mean, that…_That's_ good. Yeah…um, okay." Both of them averted their eyes from each other. Grissom too embarrassed to look at her and Sara, pursing her lips to keep her hilarity in check.

Together they worked silently and efficiently for the next couple hours processing the inside of the car, avoiding the other like the plague. Both very aware that speech was not exactly something they had a lot of control over lately, and neither one wanting to be the one to get caught doing or saying something inappropriate next. Once the inside of the car was completely processed the real fun sunk in.

"So, um…the undercarriage?" Grissom spoke a bit nervously as they stood side by side staring at the car as if it held the answers to life. They were both thinking the same thing as they stood there.

_Laying underneath a car, blocked from view, sexually frustrated with him/her._

"Yeah. Um, let's do it. Uh, the car, not…um, let's do it to the car…uh, process…"

"I know what you meant." _Unfortunately. _Grissom smiled, but truth be told just hearing her say those words made quite a bit of blood rush south of the border.

"Uh, yeah. Okay then." She replied dismissively as she started towards the car and pulled out a trolley to lay on. As she lowered herself onto it and then alluringly lay down she had to bite her tongue – Grissom hadn't moved and was staring at her like she was a piece of meat and he hadn't eaten in weeks. "Griss? You coming?"

"Not yet." He said, not realizing he had spoken aloud.

"Grissom!" She all but shrieked in complete shock that he had said that.

"Huh?" He asked, eyes wide in terror. "I…no…um."

"Oh for crying out loud! Just get down here and help me would you?" She sighed dramatically as she sunk backwards onto the dolly.

"Yes ma'am." Grissom shyly stated as he too moved towards the car.

"Griss, you're going to need protection." She said nonchalantly, biting back a laugh as his eyes seemed to pop out of his face.

"Wh—what?" He gulped, and quite audibly.

"Protection…you know? Latex?" She slid herself under the car to hide the giggles that were bubbling to the surface.

_Protection! Latex? What? Shouldn't we talk about this?_

"Huh?" She was cursing herself for not being able to control her amusement, because she would _love_ to see the look on his face. She was sure that it was priceless.

"Gloves Griss, gloves. You're not wearing any gloves." She couldn't hold it in any longer and she let out a chuckle.

"Gloves. Right. Yeah." Shaking his head of his absurd misconceptions, he put on his gloves and settled onto the dolly beside Sara. By the time he had slid under the car, Sara had turned on her iPod and was completely ignoring his existence, or so he thought. But then she started singing.

"I like your pants around your feet  
I like the dirt that's on your knees  
And I like the way you still say please  
While you're looking up at me  
You're like my favorite damn disease."

_Gil Grissom, yup, definitely my favorite disease. He's definitely killing me, but I love it._

She tried her hardest not to look at him and to pretend he wasn't there as she worked, but she was purposefully choosing songs to drive him crazy. And just to make the tension just that little bit worse, she started dancing while she lay on the dolly and taking a muscle car apart.

_Dear god, she's going to be the death of me._

It was working. He was not having such an easy time focusing on the car, and too easy a time focusing on the cause of every fantasy he's ever had since they'd met. Especially now that she was dancing too, and quite erotically for the position she was in under the car.

"I know that you've been waiting for it  
I'm waiting too  
In my imagination I'd be all up on you  
I know you got that fever for me  
102  
And boy I know I feel the same  
My temperature's through the roof

If there's a camera up in here  
Then it's gonna leave with me  
When I do  
If there's a camera up in here  
Then I'd best not catch this flick  
On YouTube  
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag  
About this secret rendezvous  
I will hunt you down  
'Cause they be all up in my business  
Like a Wendy interview  
But this is private  
Between you and I

Touch my body  
Put me on the floor  
Wrestle me around  
Play with me some more  
Touch my body  
Throw me on the bed  
I just wanna make you feel  
Like you never did.  
Touch my body  
Let me wrap my thighs  
All around your waist  
Just a little taste  
Touch my body  
Know you love my curves  
Come on and give me what I deserve  
And touch my body.

Boy you can put me on you  
Like a brand new white tee  
I'll hug your body tighter  
Than my favorite jeans  
I want you to caress me  
Like a tropical breeze  
And float away with you  
In the Caribbean Sea."

About half way through her mantra of Touch My Body by Mariah Carey, Grissom was…standing at full attention? By the end he was thankful she had headphones on so she couldn't hear his hasty breathing.

Now normally she would never reveal to anyone that she, Miss. I'll-kick-your-ass-for-calling-me-a-girl-Sara-Sidle, actually listens to girly teenage pop music, but sometimes, desperate times called for desperate measures. And surely Gilbert Grissom wouldn't know who Mariah Carey and Britney Spears were.

"What's practical is logical. What the hell, who cares?

All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there

I'm a slave for you

I cannot hold it

And I cannot control it

I'm a slave for you

I won't deny it

I'm not trying to hide it

Baby, don't you wanna, dance up on me

I just wanna dance next to you

Another time and place.

Baby, don't you wanna, dance up on me,

Are you ready

Leaving behind my name and age.

Lets go."

Out of the corner of her eye she could see him squirming and she smiled to herself.

_Time for the grand finale._ Switching the song, she had to remind herself to stay calm and not laugh.

"I love myself.  
I want you to love me.  
When I'm feelin' down,  
I want you above me.  
I search myself.  
I want you to find me.  
I forget myself.  
I want you to remind me.

I don't want anybody else.  
When I think about you,  
I touch myself.  
I don't want anybody else.  
Oh no, oh no, oh no.

_You have GOT to be kidding me! Like I need THAT visual going through my head right now!!_

You're the one who makes me happy honey.  
You're the sun who makes me shine.  
When you're around I'm always laughing.  
I want to make you mine.

I close my eyes,  
And see you before me.  
Think I would die,  
If you were to ignore me.  
A fool could see,  
Just how much I adore you.  
I get down on my knees,  
I'd do anything for you.

I love myself.  
I want you to love me.  
When I'm feelin' down,  
I want you above me.  
I search myself.  
I want you to find me.  
I forget myself,  
I want you to remind me.

I want you  
I don't want anybody else  
And when I think about you  
I touch myself  
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah."

Before the song was over Sara turned off her iPod and finished without the music as she wheeled her self out from under the car as if it were no big deal that she was singing about touching herself in her boss' presence. Silently and with a huge smile plastered to her face she gathered up her evidence and headed to the locker room, but not before shouting over shoulder to the incapacitated Grissom who had just emerged from under the car.

"I'm going to go get all hot and wet in the showers. Do you mind finishing on your own?" She had to leave before she heard his answer or saw the look on his face from her double meaning.

Meanwhile, Grissom sat there, shell-shocked, frustrated, confused, and in desperate need of…release. All because of one woman.

_One very, very mean, evil, cruel, sexy, amazing woman. Ugh._

Grissom groaned and stood up, grabbing a lab coat to hide his current impairment and headed off to the locker room himself, for a very, very cold shower.


	3. Locker Rooms Aren't Just for Storage

Chapter Three: Locker Rooms Aren't Just for Storage

**Chapter Three: Locker Rooms Aren't Just for Storage**

"Son of a bitch!!" She heard his pained scream as she was about to step into the shower, feeling no less frustrated than before. At first she thought that he was just yelling because of his own…problems. But then she heard his string of curses that could have put a southern trucker to shame followed by whimpers of pain, and instantly all her problems were forgotten as she ran out from the showering room to the locker room, forgetting that she was only in a towel, to see what was wrong.

"Grissom! Grissom what happened?!" She yelled as she ran to him.

He was sitting on one of the benches with his foot cradled in his hands and his eyes shut tightly in pain. She could see blood, but his hand was blocking her view of the wound. When she saw the pain etched on his face she knelt down in front of him and placed her hands on his, trying to move them away so she could see. His eyes shot open at her touch. He had been so focused on the pain in his foot that he hadn't heard her come in. She was looking intently at his foot, he was looking intently at her. Once again the strain in his pants was back.

_She has to come in like THAT!_

Pushing his hands away, which was quite easy after he'd noticed her, she examined the wound on his foot. A large laceration extended across the bottom and was bleeding, but from what she could tell it didn't seem all that deep.

"God Griss, what the hell happened?" She asked in typical worried Sara fashion, still having not looked at him.

"Oh, uh…a broken tile." He replied almost robotically as he took in the flesh exposed to him by the towel she was wearing. The very small, revealing towel. Yup, that strain was definitely back.

Upon hearing his distracted tone she glanced up and sure enough his eyes, once again, were not on her face, nor on the laceration to his foot.

_Well I guess he's feeling no pain._

"It's very big…" She said with a smile ducking her head to look at his foot, more to hide her smile. "but not too deep…good."

"What?!" He said, his voice unusually high in pitch.

"The cut Griss, the cut." She said, puling her face up to meet his eyes with amusement.

"Oh. Right. Yeah. The cut." If possible, he was now even more embarrassed. She however, was enjoying every last bit of it.

"I could play doctor if you want."

"Sara!" he shrieked, standing up all too quickly, knocking her over in the process. Remember that small towel?

"Ah! Grissom!! What the hell!" Sara pretty much screamed as she scrambled to put her towel back on, while Grissom just stood there mesmerized.

_Oh. My. God. Seven years and she is still just as perfect._

"Grissom!" She shouted incredulously at his ever so obvious gawking.

Snapping out of his trip down fantasy lane, he realized that Sara was still on the floor and had the towel clutched tightly to her chest, not wrapped around her, but covering her some.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't mean to knock you over. I was just…and you were just…and I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and…" He stammered all in one breath as he knelt next to her and examined her for any injuries.

"Grissom." She tried to interrupt, no luck. "Grissom." Nope, still ranting. "Grissom!" Finally. "Stop that!" She said as she swatted his hand away from his examination. "I'm fine. Just a little cold." She added with a smile as she waved to the minimal coverage of her naked body.

"I…uh…" His eyes lingered over her again.

_Jesus, she's like a freaking magnet for my eyes._

"Would you stop that! My god! You're like a 16 year old boy!" She yelled trying to sound angry, but the full Sidle-smile gave her away.

"I'M SORRY!" He yelled back. "I'm sorry okay! Contrary to popular belief I _am_ a man! And well, _you_, Sara, are most definitely a woman! I'm sorry, but you are very distracting!!" He didn't mean to shout all of that, and he just hoped that there were no busy-bodies hanging around outside the door to witness his little confession.

_Oh. My. God. Well I wasn't expecting…that. Wow. Okay. Um, now what…think Sara, think! Hmm…_

Slowly, Sara rose from the floor, holding the towel to her chest, but still not wrapped around her. With a saucy smile and her eyes boring into his now seemingly uncomfortable ones, she lightly stepped towards him. His gulp and slight raise of an eyebrow only encouraged her further. Taking another step forward, putting them at a mere foot apart, her smile became more dangerous and he took a step back. This continued until, with an audible thud, Grissom's back hit the wall of lockers, successfully ending his escape and highlighting the terror on his face.

_She's seriously parading around the locker room naked. This is NOT good. No, not good at all. Sara's naked. Sara's naked. Sara's naked. NO! Stop that. Distraction. Think Gil, think. A butterfly is an __insect__ of the __order__Lepidoptera__. Like all Lepidoptera, butterflies are notable for their unusual __life cycle__ with a __larval__caterpillar__ stage, an inactive __pupal__ stage, and a spectacular __metamorphosis__ into a familiar and colorful winged adult form. Most species are day-flying so they regularly attract attention. Sara certainly attracts my attention. No. Stop. The diverse patterns formed by their brightly colored wings and their erratic yet graceful flight have made __butterfly watching__ a fairly popular hobby. Sara has an erratic yet graceful flight too, maybe that's why Sara-watching is my fairly popular hobby. No. Stop thinking. Just stop thinking. La la la la la._

_He really is sexy when he's scared. What am I doing? I'm walking around the locker room completely naked. Pursuing my boss. Pursuing Grissom. Why am I not freaking out right now? Well it's nothing he hasn't seen…or touched…or kissed…okay stop! Oh, he looks so horrified. I love that I have this kind of effect on him. Well, he wants to stare, I'll give him something to stare at._

Finally, with his back pressed tightly against the lockers and no where to go, she had her shot. Taking the final step toward him, he dropped his hands to his sides and clung to locker for dear life as his breaths became ragged. Slowly she pressed her chest to his, placing her hands lighting on his shoulders, effectively releasing the towel, leaving her in all her naked glory. With a wry smile, she leaned in to his ear and just above a feathery whisper, her breath tickling his skin, she spoke.

"Trust me Gil, I am _very_ aware of your…manhood." And with a final breath she stepped to the side and exerting more confidence than she actually felt, walked back to the showers where her clothing awaited her.

_I did NOT just do that! I did not just SAY that. I am so not naked right now. I am SO getting fired. Oh god. No, I am SO getting arrested._

Grissom watched in complete shock and astonishment as Sara's completely naked form swayed out of the locker room back to the showers.

_She did NOT just do that. Sara Sidle, love of my life, just disrobed…in front of me. Me. Gil Grissom. Well, it's not like she's never been naked in front of me before…Stop. Wait? Did she really just SAY that?!_

Shocking himself out of his Sara-induced trance, he chuckled despite himself and turned to follow the path that his Siren had left behind.


	4. Caught

Chapter Four: Caught

**Chapter Four: Caught**

Following Sara's path was not hard, seeing as how they were the only two in the locker and showering rooms. Reaching the showering room, Grissom saw that the last stall had its curtain closed, but with the lighting in the room he could make out Sara's silhouette behind it. As he moved forward he noticed that her clothing was still folded and untouched on the bench outside the stall, meaning she was still naked.

_Great! As if I wasn't aroused enough as it is._

Watching her carefully, he waited until her back was to the curtain, and being as quiet as possible he stepped in behind her and whispered into her ear.

"That was not nice Miss. Sidle." And then he jumped when she let out a started scream and spun around to start attacking him before realizing who he was.

"What the hell Grissom! You scared me to death!" She yelled at him, smacking his chest, forgetting her nudity for a moment. Well, until she saw Grissom's eyes cloud again with hunger and yearning. "I'm sorry, am I distracting you again?" She asked huskily as she stepped closer to him again, her hands again landing on his shoulders and his instinctively moving to her hips – her very naked hips.

"Uh huh." _I can quote any person in history, recite Shakespeare like it were a nursery rhyme and pull random facts out at the drop of a hat and all I can say is uh huh? Say something damn it!_ "God, Sara…" He all but moaned when her hands laced into his curls and she leaned in to breathe on his neck, not touching him, just teasing him. His hands followed, slowly, tantalizingly, gliding up the flesh of her stomach.

"Gil." She breathed in pleasure and encouragement as his hands kept moving up and got closer…closer…closer…

"Sara? Are you okay?" Came Catherine's worried voice, yelling into the shower room. Like they had been burned, Grissom and Sara jumped apart from each other, panicked.

"Huh?" Sara squeaked. Grissom couldn't help but smile.

_The normally stoic Sara Sidle, squeaking. Yup, this was a day to mark in history._

Sara scowled at Grissom for his amusement.

"Sara, are you okay? I heard you scream from the hallway." Catherine said, closer to the curtain this time.

Suddenly Grissom remembered that he had been able to see Sara's silhouette from the other side of the curtain, which meant that Catherine would be able to see it too, and his. Judging by her voice, he figured that she wasn't yet to the point where she'd be able to see them, so hurriedly, Grissom jumped behind Sara, wrapping his arms around her stomach and hiding his head behind hers – hoping that their silhouette would look like one person.

"Shhh." Grissom whispered to Sara when he sensed she was about to say or do something that would get them caught. "She can see our shadows. Just don't move." He whispered again, this time into her neck, sending chills down her spine, something that did not go unnoticed by Grissom and he smiled against her neck. However, the close proximity made sure that she knew the effect she had on him as well as she felt his erection against her ass. With a devilish smile, she rocked her hips against him a bit, and instantly he bit down on her neck to keep from moaning.

"Sara?" Catherine called again, having not been answered yet.

"Huh?" There was that squeak again, only this time because she was trying with all of her energy to keep from spinning around and doing very inappropriate things in the shower stall. "Uh, yeah. Sorry, what did want?" She stuttered out, gasping slightly when Grissom's bite became more sensual and he started licking and kissing the back of her neck.

"I said I heard you screaming. I was just checking to see if you were alright." Catherine said, moving even closer to the stall with a hint of suspicion.

"Screaming? Oh…uh…" Her eyes were about as wide as possible as Grissom's hands began roaming delicately over her abdomen…lower…lower…

_Focus. Focus. Catherine. Catherine. Question. Screaming. Screaming. Don't scream. Oh good god, the things this man does to me. I've missed this…Stop. Catherine._

"Spider!" She yelled a bit louder than she meant to, startling all three occupants of the room. Grissom jumped back, but kept a firm hold on Sara in the process. Catherine flinched, not expecting Sara's random outburst, but regained her composure the fastest. The same thought was going through all of their heads.

_Spider? I don't get it._

_Spider? I wonder what kind._

_Spider? That's what I come up with? Spider!_

"Spider?" Catherine asked, obviously not understanding.

"Uh, yeah. A spider. That's…uh…that's…why I screamed. Yeah. Spider. There was one. Here. In here. Very big. Yes very big spider. Just snuck right up on me. With its roaming little hands…uh LEGS. Legs. It bit me. Yes. That's it. A Spider." She ranted breathlessly as she swatted Grissom's 'spider-legs' away but contradicting her own actions moved her head a bit so that he had better access to give her neck those pesky little spider bites.

"A spider." Catherine repeated slowly, not quite believing the tale of this so-called spider.

"Yup, a spider. Crazy huh?" Again with the squeak, forcing Grissom to have to bite her neck again in hopes to keep from laughing at her.

"Riiiight. Okay then. I'll just leave you alone then. Umm…be careful with that…spider." Catherine rose an eyebrow in question to what was actually going on before shaking her head and turning away.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. I will."

_That was close._

"Oh, and Sara?" Catherine paused at the doorway.

_Damn it. I knew it was too good to be true._

"Yeah?" _What is with my damn voice today!_

"Maybe you should have Gil check you out." Catherine smiled; she was beginning to get a good idea of what she had walked in on when she had paused at the doorway to the locker room to see a towel on the floor, Gil's locker open, his dirty clothing in a heap in front of it, and no Gil in sight.

Sure enough as soon as the words were out, Sara sputtered and started choking.

"What?!" She managed to get out through strangled breaths. Catherine had to bite back her own laughter as she caught sight of two distinct sets of legs, and last she checked Sara only had one set.

"Gil. You should have him check out that bite. Make sure it's not poisonous you know?" She replied in her best innocent voice.

"Right. Spider bite. Grissom. Mmm-hmm. I'll do him...THAT. I'll do that!" In complete embarrassment, Sara buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back in forth.

_I did not just say that. I did not just say that. I did not just say that._

_I knew it. I knew it. I knew it._

_She did not just say that. She did not just say that. She did not just say that._

"Okay, well, I'll see you later. Have fun." Turning on her heels, she couldn't help but shout over her shoulder. "Oh and Sara? Tell Gil he left his locker open." And with that she left her two shocked coworkers.

Both wide-eyed, all movement seized, they stood there to be sure she was gone. Finally Sara turned and pushed Grissom against the wall.

"What the hell was THAT?!" Once again, she seemed to forget that she was fully naked before him, and with the way she was flailing her arms in fury, he was getting quite the show.

With a smug smile he shrugged and said, "You started it?"

Her mouth dropped open in an I-can't-believe-you're-blaming-me-for-this kind of way, but a smile still tugged at her lips as she saw the hunger flash again in his eyes. Shaking her head to gain perspective, she quickly grabbed another towel and wrapped it around herself before turning back to face Grissom, who was still pressed against the stall wall.

"What the hell is going on between us Grissom? I mean, obviously there's _something_ going on." She asked tiredly and then added the last line with a smile as she pointed to her naked self and his…aroused…self. When he didn't say anything and just continued to stare at her, she sighed disappointedly and turned her back on him, leaving the stall to take a seat on the bench with her clothing.

"Sara…I…" He tried to say, something, anything that would possibly make this better, but stopped dead when he realized he hadn't a clue as to what he could possibly say. When he stepped out of the stall and saw her sitting dejectedly on the bench, he felt his heart twist.

"Okay, you know what? I have a proposition to make."


	5. The Proposal

Chapter Five: The Proposal

**Chapter Five: The Proposal**

"Okay, you know what? I have a proposition to make." She said confidently while furrowing her brows in concentration like he'd seen her do so many times with evidence.

Now he was nervous. The deep concentration on her face mixed with the fire in her eyes was scaring him.

"A…a pr-prop…proposition?" _Great, now I'm squeaking._

"Yes Grissom. A proposition. Usually defined as a proposal, offer, or suggestion."

At first scowling at her sarcasm, slowly he nodded and came to sit beside her on the bench.

"Okay. Propose away." He spoke slowly as he toyed with his hands.

"It's simple." She started, then stood and began dressing as she spoke. Again giving Grissom quite a show with her not so subtle suggestive movements. "I know you're not interested in a relationship with me. We've been there, done that. I'm okay with that. But it's also very clear that we are two people, disturbingly married to our jobs with no social lives to speak of, meaning that we've both acquired some built up…tension. I certainly know that I have." She paused, standing in just her bra and panties before him to give him a lopsided smirk. "And well, it appears you have as well. Built up tension that is." She smiled and turned back to her clothing after making a quick motion towards his strained pants.

"My offer is simple. Sex. That's it. Nothing more. Just no strings attached, purely platonic, mind blowing sex. We've been together before, granted a long time ago, but still we have, so it wouldn't be awkward in that sense. And if I do recall correctly, we were amazing together." She turned to his shocked expression and gave him a wistful smile at the memory and then continued with her suggestion. "We work the same hours so it would be convenient. We know which cases will be the ones to affect each other, so we'll be able to tell when the other needs a…uh…release." Dumbly Grissom nodded at her logic. Taking that as means to continue, Sara laid out the guidelines.

"I have a few simple rules. One: No one knows but us. Two: We don't discuss it at work. Three: We're free to see other people if the opportunity should arise." By the time she got to the rules she had finished dressing and had pulled out her hair brush. Grissom had yet to speak or move. He was still in a state of shock and bewilderment at her idea.

"Oh and so as not to confuse this with a relationship, no dates. Meaning, no dinners, no movies, no cuddling on the sofa drinking coffee, no doing the crossword, no toothbrushes left behind, no shared breakfasts, absolutely nothing in public, no pet names, no leaving clothes behind, no discussion of our feelings, no discussion of our past, no late night, or in our case, day, phone calls. Oh, and no gifts." As she listed off the 'rules' on her fingers and racked her mind for anything she may have forgotten, Grissom had started to process and came out of his daze a bit. Now, as he watched her list off everything, he couldn't help but smile.

_This obviously isn't the first time she's thought of this._

"Is that all?" He said, his amusement getting the upper hand to his fears and insecurities of this 'arrangement.'

"Um…I think so." She answered absently, thinking hard to be sure. "Wait. And no repeats of today in the lab again."

Silently he nodded his understanding while she took up her seat on the bench again.

"So…sex." He stated more than asked, trying to wrap his head around the idea.

"Sex."

"No strings."

"None." Seeing that he wasn't quite sure, and wanting to save herself from further humiliation, she took a deep breath and stood. Coming to stand right before him she leant down and placed a chaste but lingering kiss to his lips, something she hadn't done in almost seven years, and with her hands lightly caressing his cheeks she breathlessly whispered to him.

"Just think about it. You know where to find me." And with that, she left. Leaving him to his thoughts.

_Well if this isn't the opportunity of a lifetime. No, I can't do this. I can't use her like that. But she's the one that suggested it. And she'd be using me the same way, right? The only reason I've kept from being with her was because of work, but her idea means we could 'be' together and still maintain our friendship and working relationship. A don't ask – don't tell type of thing. One of her rules was no discussion of the past, which means no rehashing it. And she was definitely right about us being incredible together. No. No. I can't do this. It's just not right. I love her too much. I miss her though, a lot. What the hell am I going to do?_

With a groan Grissom left the showering room, more confused than he'd been since he'd met her.


	6. I Don't BiteUsually

Chapter Six: I Don't Bite…Usually

**Chapter Six: I Don't Bite…Usually**

Several hours later, nearing the end of shift, Grissom made his way to the break room for a much needed cup of liquid fuel. He hadn't been able to focus on anything but Sara's proposal since he'd left the locker room. She had been making herself scarce it seemed all night, not that he had really put much effort into looking for her. If he were to be honest with himself, he was avoiding her. He had yet to come to a decision and didn't want to risk running into her in the process.

Entering into the break room, a file in hand, still undecided about their situation, he realized his mistake. He forgot how much coffee Sara Sidle drank and how much paperwork she had put off all week. There she was sitting at the table, file laid out before her, nursing a steaming cup of the county provided sludge, sucking ruthlessly on a lollipop, intently focused on the report she was writing. Deciding it best not to disturb her, or at least that's what he told himself as he was trying not to watch what she was doing to that lollipop, he was about to step out and come back later when she spoke, pulling the pop just far enough from her mouth for her to speak.

"I don't bite…Usually." She never stopped her writing or moved her gaze from the form while she spoke.

Gulp._ Damn it._

"I, uh…You just seemed very focused. I didn't want to disturb you." He said, and even he didn't believe himself. Luckily for him, she didn't call him on it.

"Riiiiight. I just made a fresh pot. Well, as fresh as one can find in this building without the aid of Greg anyways." Still not taking her eyes from the form, in fear perhaps of what she'd find, she gave a slow lick to the pop.

"Uh, th-thanks." Timidly, he moved to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup.

"I, uh, finished processing the cars. I sent swabs and that hair to DNA and Trace, and Mandy's running the prints now. I'm just finishing up my report, I'll have it on your desk by end of shift." Nope, still haven't shifted her gaze from that paper or let go of that pop.

"Uh…good. That's, that's good." _How can she just act as if nothing has happened? And what is with that damn pop!? _Turning to face her, he lent against the counter, only to find her still absorbed in her paperwork and still sucking away. "Just uh, let me know when you get the results back."

"Sure." _Just don't look at him and you can pretend that you didn't just offer your boss a sexual arrangement. Way to go Sara! He hasn't mentioned it, maybe that's his way of saying no, just pretend it didn't happen. But then again, he didn't say no either. Damn it! This was supposed to be the non-complicated approach._

_Is she avoiding me? Me?! She leaves me to decide whether I want to sleep with her…pretty much whenever I want…and she's avoiding me?!_

With a soft sigh and conjuring all of his courage, Grissom moved to sit at the table across from her. Placing his file down on the tabletop and pulling out the chair stirred her attention. She raised an eyebrow in question, but still didn't look at him, more afraid now than she was before. Stuffing the pop back into her mouth, unaware of the effect it was having on her would-be-lover, she felt that if she kept her mouth full, the less likely she'd be to stuff her foot into it.

_Well, if he's sitting here voluntarily...with me…that's got to be a good sign. Maybe he'll just pretend that nothing happened. _

Silently Grissom took his seat and 'attempted' to work through the file that needed his focus. Sara Sidle sitting across from him wearing a low cut shirt and sucking the life out of a lollipop was not helping.

Sara continued on with her report, but she thanked the Heavens that she wrote everything in shorthand. What Grissom didn't know was that her report, if read now, would reveal that her mind was anywhere but on her work. Her report of chemical analysis was more about the chemistry between them than anything to do with the '72 Camaro sitting in the garage. Grissom sitting across from her, wearing his glasses, her ultimate weakness, was not helping.

"Whatcha working on?" Sara asked around the pop, only to break the awkward silence and hopefully remove some of the tension that was engulfing the room.

_Is he staring at me again? No, don't look. His hands aren't moving and he's definitely not working on that file that is upside down. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he came in here to give me my answer. Out with it Grissom!_

_God, she is so beautiful. She's just perfect. Well, maybe I could say yes, and we could go from there. If we're successful in hiding it then maybe we could find a way to be together fully. No, I can't do that. I think I'm getting a headache. All this thinking is just not good for me. And all that…sucking…is definitely not good for me either._

"Grissom?"

_Yup definitely staring at me. Either that or there's a bug behind me._

_Is she talking? She is! Shit. Say something dumbass!_

"Hmm? Just reviewing this case file. Yeah." _Again, real intelligent._

Sara had to bite back a chuckle as he cleared his throat and tried to act as if he wasn't caught. Hastily moving his hands to the file, but not quite seeing it as he pretended to focus on it. A smile pulled at Sara's lips and she, too, cleared her throat, holding back a laugh and unceremoniously used her lollipop to point at his file.

"Your file Griss. It's up-side-down." She whispered conspiratorially, making his jaw drop open at his absurdity.

"I...uh…umm…" He stuttered again, while he repositioned the folder in front of him.

"Were…_distracted_?" Again, having to cough a little to hide her mirth.

"Something like that." He replied, not amused.

For the next ten minutes or so they both worked in companionable silence, each too lost in their own thoughts. Sara giving quite a bit of attention to making Grissom squirm with her ministrations of her pop and Grissom taking the bait. Well that was until Sara decided to raise the heat so to speak. Figuring she had nothing left to lose after basically whoring herself to him, she started slow, testing the waters. Careful not to make any noise or movements that he'd notice, and keeping her stoic façade, she kicked off her shoes under the table and then inched one foot forward slowly until she could just barely feel the leather of his shoe on her toes.

_This is it. Do it._

Taking a deep breath and reminding herself that this will all be worth it, even if she does get fired for sexual harassment, she slid her foot to the hem of his trousers and then slowly and seductively guided it up his inner ankle, to his calf. Upon hearing his sharp intake of breath and noticing the white-knuckle grip he acquired on his pen, she smiled and moved up, up, up. When her foot reached his inner thigh and was getting dangerously close to his manhood, his hands began to shake and his breathing became frigid. She had to purse her lips and grip her pen much like him to keep from jumping him right there on the break room table.

"Oooohhh. Mmmm." Grissom's eyes closed tight as her foot began massaging him through his pants.

Taking in his audible appreciation of her ministrations, she figured he was now putty in her hands. With a devilish smile she hastily dropped her foot to the floor, leaving him in complete bewilderment and frustration. With one large crunch, she bit into the pop finishing it. Quickly throwing her shoes back on, she stood, gathered her file, finished her coffee, threw away the stick to her pop and with a look of pure innocence, turned back to one very shell-shocked Gilbert Grissom.

"Shifts over and I just remembered that there's a documentary on the travel channel that I've been dying to see. Don't want to miss it. I'll just put this…" She held up the file for him to see. "…on your desk. I'll see you later." And with one final smug smile, she left the room.

_I swear she did that on purpose! And she definitely had an extra bounce to her step! Damn that woman!!_

Once Sara was clear of the break room, she had to sprint to the locker room to release her laughter.

_I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe he just let me do that. I seriously hope this works. If not, I may just have to invest in some elicit items for my bedside drawer. I really, really hope this works._

Reigning in her complex emotions, she grabbed her things from her locker and headed straight to Grissom's office, hoping that he wasn't in there, to drop off the file – minus the report she had been writing in the break room of course. Seeing the room empty, she let out a relieved sigh and went in. With her mind so intently focused on the biological needs she was lacking and a certain entomologist's anatomy, she couldn't help but fantasize a bit about his very office and the things she would love to do to him in it. Shaking those thoughts free of her mind, she placed the file down on his overflowing desk, but then spotted a pad of post-it notes and she got an idea. Grabbing a pen she took one of the sheets of sticky paper and wrote simply…

**I love your office.**

**Especially the desk ;)**

**xoxo**

**S.**

With a smile she stuck the note to the inside of the file she'd left and walked out, practically running to her car.

When Grissom had finally gotten over the shock of Sara's abrupt departure from the break room, and then waited long enough so no one could notice the effect of her presence, he ventured back to his office to gather his things for the day. As he entered the dimly lit room, he sighed at the stacks of paperwork that he was unable to complete, but as he walked closer to his desk he noticed Sara's file on top and his interest was peaked. Upon opening the department issued folder, his eyes caught the yellow post-it note and he was sure that had he been drinking something, he would have choked at the suggestion within her words.

_That's it!_

Stuffing the note into his pocket to keep anyone from seeing it, he grabbed his jacket and keys and stormed off to the parking lot.


	7. Never

Chapter Seven: Never

**Chapter Seven: Never**

After breaking several speed limits and only somewhat yielding at a couple stop signs, Sara finally made it back to her apartment, desperate for yet another cold shower. Slamming her door behind her, she threw her keys and bag on her counter and stripped down on the way to the bathroom, wasting no time.

As soon as she shut the water off, she swore she had heard something coming from her living area. Grabbing a towel and quickly wrapping it around herself, she went to see what it was. Once she left the bathroom and was assaulted by the cool air on her dripping wet skin, she heard it again.

_Knock, knock, knock._

With a smile in hopes of who it may be, she went to the door suddenly very glad of her choice in attire. Opening the door tantalizingly slow and then leaning against it slightly with a 'what ever could you be here for?' mock-innocent smile, she greeted the man on her doorstep.

"Hello." _The look on his face is just so priceless. Dumbstruck._

Grissom's face was indeed in a state of dumb appreciation of the view she was providing…again.

"Yes." He kind of murmured as he let his eyes trail along her lustrous and tempting body, following the trail of a water droplet until it disappeared beneath the towel, and suddenly he _really_ wanted to see the rest of its trail.

"Yes?" Normally she would feel slightly uncomfortable with the sheer attention he was paying her body, but the look in his eyes was putting that thought aside. But the 'yes' was slightly confusing her, she was pretty sure her 'hello' didn't contain a question.

_Which only means one thing…he is here after all and looking at me like…that._

_Of course she opens the door wearing just that! Good god, this woman is killing me!_

Before she could repeat her question, his lips had attached to hers, answering her question in the best way possible. It didn't take her long to react, grasping onto the front of his shirt and pulling him into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind them. Almost as immediately as the door shut, Grissom swung them around and pinned Sara against it, moving his mouth from hers to attack the sensitive flesh of her neck and lower to her collar bone and shoulder. Sara was mumbling incoherently and gasping when he lightly sunk his teeth into the junction of her neck and shoulder.

"Gahhhhh."

"Such…a…tease." Grissom spoke between kisses as he moved back to her lips.

With a smile she ran her hands down his shirt, undoing the buttons as she went. After all, he _was_ slightly overdressed for the occasion. Pushing the shirt off his shoulders, being sure to let her fingers feel every bit of new skin revealed, she eventually moved her hands down to hook them on the waist band of his pants, then panting heavily she spoke.

"A tease…gahh…is someone with…oooooh….no int-ten-tentions of finish…shh…shit…shing what they sta…aaah…arted."

As she began speaking, his hands had begun traveling – one to her breast, massaging it through the thin towel, effectively loosening it from her body, and the other to her leg, sliding it up and hooking it around the back of her thigh, raising her leg to wrap around his as he kept her pinned to the door with his body. Reaching around him, she grabbed his ass, causing him to grind himself into her, thus the involuntary gasp followed by a bite to her shoulder.

Letting the towel fall, much like she had in the locker room, and dropping her leg back to the floor, she stood, albeit shakily, before him in all her glory.

"God Sara. The things you do to me." He whispered hungrily, taking in the sight before him, before letting his lips sink onto hers once more in a passion fueled kiss. Pushing him backwards with her hands to his bare chest, she led him, not very smoothly or in anything resembling a straight line, towards her bedroom, knocking over what sounded like a vase, several photo frames, a painting or two and possibly a small table, on the way.

_I don't know what we keep knocking over, but I so don't have a care in the world. Good god his lips are amazing. So much better than I remember. Oh god. Don't ever let this man stop touching me. Please._

_She has no idea what she does to me. How did I ever go this long without touching her? Without her touching me? So much better than what I remember. Oh god. Don't ever let her hands leave my body. Ever. _

"We really shouldn't be doing this." He murmured as they reached the bedroom door and, this time, Sara pinned him to it and immediately launched a full war on his neck with her mouth as she skillfully removed his belt and worked his pants down.

_Cause THAT sounded convincing. _The both thought.

"So stop me." She whispered saucily in his ear before nibbling the lobe. Opening the door behind his back, she pushed him playfully into the room, following immediately, not letting him get more than an inch away from her.

Part of his mind - the very distant, very quiet, part – was telling him to stop, to end this before it got too far, before he lost all control. But unfortunately, the other part – the one looking at Sara like she was a steak (or in her case a veggie burger) after weeks without food – was winning and only a glimmer of the first part came out.

"We really should stop this." Again, not very convincing as he pushed her down onto the mattress and began his exploration of her body with his tongue.

"So stop." She repeated, only to be followed by a very audible moan as his hot mouth reached her breast. "Don't…ever…stop." She demanded huskily as she gripped the sheets with white knuckles and he moved further down her body, leaving a hot, wet trail in his path.

Pausing in his affections, he looked up, locking his eyes with hers, and said…

"Never."

Hours of rediscovery, roaming hands, gentle caresses, losses of breath, sweet kisses, and an altogether deprived rhythm came to a close with visions of fireworks and stars as Grissom and Sara crashed together into a state of ecstasy into the sweat coated sheets of her bed. Now lying together, curled up within each other's arms, Sara softly listening to the beat of Grissom's heart beneath her ear and Grissom softly stroking the hair from Sara's face, the reality was beginning to mix with the dream.

_That was amazing. I've missed him so much. At least I can have this little bit of him if not the whole package. I can at least pretend that this is forever until he gets dressed and leaves again. _

_That was amazing. I can't not have her anymore. I need to be with her, screw the job. I need her. I love her. I need to tell her. She needs to know._

"Sara…I…" _Great he's going to apologize and say this was all just a big mistake. Don't ruin my dream._

"Don't. Just…sleep." _Why won't she let me tell her? Well I think that was one of her rules, no feelings. She's so confusing. I thought that was what she wanted, a relationship. I guess not. Well for now I'll just have to pretend that this is forever until I have to leave again. _Wordlessly he nodded, inwardly making himself a promise that he wouldn't give up trying to be with her, tightened his grip around her, kissed the top of her head and whispered softly into the dark of the room.

"Goodnight Sara."

Giving a contented sigh at just being in his arms, Sara smiled slightly and nuzzled closer into his body.

"Goodnight Gil."

The time to awake came all too soon for the two spent lovers. As regulated in Sara's rule list, their breakfasts, or dinner since it was the average person's dinner time, were spent separately. When they had awoken, there was another bout of vigorous tension relief before finally peeling their bodies from the other. To avoid anything seemingly relationship-like, Sara went to shower while Grissom dressed and left. Not a word was said.

Sara ate her bowl of cheerios as usual, alone and leaning against her kitchen countertop while perusing the newest catalog that had come in the mail.

Grissom went back to his house to shower and eat his usual breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, alone sitting on his sofa and looking through the newest forensic journal that had come in the mail.

And as usual, both Grissom and Sara left for work hours before their respective shifts were to start.

To anyone else, nothing had changed.

They went about their nightly duties, collecting evidence, interrogating suspects and solving crimes. Neither spoke much to the other aside what was pertinent to their case work. And neither spoke of their night/day together or the arrangement.


	8. And She Came

Chapter Eight: And She Came

**Chapter Eight: And She Came**

For an entire week their charade played on at work, acting as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. Neither speaking of that one night or if it would happen again. Eight days after the sex-pact was made, a case came in that rocked Sara to her core. It was a virtual manifestation of her past, a mother and her children abused by a drunken father for years until the mother snapped and stabbed back. The parallels went beyond the situation, what crawled under her skin the most was the little girl – scrawny, brown hair, deep brown vacant eyes, baggy clothes to cover the bruises and a fight in her unlike anything she'd seen since herself when she was that same little girl. And her name? Sarah.

Sara spent four straight shifts in the lab and in the field trying to complete the case, to bring some form of closure to her miniature doppelganger – to herself. Everyone steered clear of her for those four agonizing shifts. Anyone who dared go near her walked on eggshells and said little. Even Grissom, the one who would always be the first to call her out on her obsessive compulsion with cases knew better than to interfere with this one. He knew about her past and knew enough to know that she was working more than this one case, she was working a case from 1984 where a little girl never got the peace she was looking for.

The moment he was informed of the details to the case he sent her on, he was tempted to pull her from it, but after seeing the fire burning in her eyes, the need she had to finish it, he let it go, somehow knowing that when it was over she'd come to him.

And come to him she did. After four straight shifts, no sleep, well over a pot of coffee an hour and enough pain, memories and pent up tears to kill her, she found herself in the down pouring rain standing outside Grissom's townhouse.

Somehow sensing her presence, Grissom went to the door and opened it to find a sopping wet Sara Sidle on the other side.

_Make-up running, bloodshot eyes, mussed hair and drenched clothing and she has never looked so beautiful._

"Hi." She whispered shyly, as if unsure if she were welcomed there.

"You're wet." _Way to state the obvious Gil._ He gave her a lopsided smile.

"It's raining." _Way to state the obvious Sara._ She returned his smile with one of her own.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked as he stepped back to allow her pass. When she made no move to enter, he searched her face. She looked torn. "Sara?"

"I…I'm sorry. I just…I um, I need you." She whispered as she looked to her feet, afraid of the reaction she'd receive.

Without a word, Grissom, clad in his flannel pajama pants, no socks and a white t-shirt, stepped forward into the hammering rain storm until he too was getting soaked, placed a hand under Sara's chin, startling her at first, lifted her face to his and looking deep into her lost eyes, closed the distance between them capturing her lips in a languid kiss. After a few moments he pulled back and with little effort lifted her into his arms, noting how light she had become, and carried her to his bedroom.

Once there, he placed her on her feet before the bed and with no words spoken between them, he lifted her dripping black shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. Instantly she shivered with the cool air of his room and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her while his lips sought out her neck in a slow sensual exploration.

With shaky hands, Sara found the hem to his now see through shirt and lifted it, forcing him to break his contact with her for a moment. The shirt slid easily over his head and down his strong arms to the floor. Her fingers found his chest as they stared at one another. Lightly trailing her nails down his chest to his stomach, she placed a kiss to his sternum and with a mist of tears in her eyes, she moved to his lips in a soft, lingering kiss. As she slowly pulled back, her lips just touching his, she whispered with all the emotion she felt,

"Thank you."

Finding words to be failing him, he simply wiped the tear that had fallen to her cheek away and gave her a kiss that held promise, one that said,

"I'll always be here when you need me. Always."

And she understood the message clearly.

Running her hands back down his bare abdomen, she hooked her fingers into the sides of his pajama bottoms and pulled them down, while he unclasped her bra and together both clothing items fell to the floor. Looking in her eyes to be sure this was what she wanted, and receiving the permission he needed, he carefully popped the button on her jeans, followed by the lowering of her zipper. With one more kiss to her awaiting lips, he pulled her jeans free from her hips and let them drop to the floor where she stepped out of them.

With the most tender of force, Grissom compelled Sara backwards to the bed until she was lying flat on her back with her head on a cream colored pillow. Leisurely, he climbed onto the bed and with soft touches and gentle caresses to her abdomen and thighs, he settled himself between her legs. Staring into her chocolate orbs, he entered her, filling them both with something longed for and deeply needed.

Unlike the week before, where the sex was just that – sex, with hurried motions, hard movements, and a frenzied pace, this time was different. This time was making love. This was Sara needing to heal her pain and Grissom's way of doing that for her. This was not years of built up lust and tension, but years of built up longing, respect and adoration. This time was slow, sensual, tender.

This time was love.

Hours later lying sated and spent wrapped in each other's warmth, images of that dreadful case came back to Sara and a tear was released, falling onto Grissom's chest. Instinctively Grissom tightened his hold on her and with the utmost care he traced lazy circles into the bare flesh of her back, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm here." He softly whispered to her.

Silently she nodded and snuggled closer, trying to completely be swallowed by his warmth.

"I know." She whispered back, placing a chaste kiss to his chest and allowing the last few days of no sleep catch up with her. Within minutes she was fast asleep in the comfort of her lover's arms.

Grissom fought off the fatigue he felt to simply revel in the woman lying in his arms and how he longed to hold her forever. He wished that he could be there for her forever, in ways more than just physical.


	9. And Take it He Did

Chapter Nine: And Take It He Did

**Chapter Nine: And Take It He Did**

Another week went by with no mention of their activities or what lay ahead in their futures, not until another hard case came in, this time shaking Grissom to his core. A young boy killed at the hands of his drugged up brother who was suppose to be watching him. The case, like most cases involving the deaths of innocent children, rattled Grissom and tore at his defenses. He only stopped to refuel on Greg's special brew of coffee, to use the restroom, or to continuously tell everyone that he was 'fine.'

Sara brought food to him, knowing that if someone didn't force him to eat, he wouldn't. But she kept her distance. Like he had with her, she knew that he would come to her when he was ready, and she would be waiting to help him through his turmoil.

Like a sixth sense, she was all too aware when he had arrived at her apartment. She awoke with a gut feeling and as she got out of bed she knew he was there. Walking to her front door, before he had even worked up the nerve to knock, she opened it to find a broken man and her heart broke with him.

"Hi." He spoke with so much emotion and so much need in that one simple one syllable word that Sara's breath actually caught in her throat.

"Come on." She whispered sincerely to him, while extending a hand for him to take.

And take it he did. She pulled him into the apartment and into her awaiting arms, embracing him with all the love she could muster. She had never been clung to so tightly before as she was then, standing in the middle of her living room with a distraught Grissom letting his tears free into her shoulder.

Gently stroking her fingers through his graying curls, she faintly heard him mumble into her shoulder,

"I need you."


	10. Phone Banter

Chapter Ten: Phone Banter

**Chapter Ten: Phone Banter**

It wasn't even a full two days later before they were both back to a relatively normal emotional state. No trying cases had occurred, nothing really more than the average B&E or a random assault or two. With all the down time they were experiencing, they found themselves stuck once again at the lab for the night where the subtle flirting and not-so-innocent innuendo were back in full force.

And with the flirting came the tension.

Sitting in the break room, bored as she could possibly be, Sara was searching her cell phone for a new ring tone, because really, she had nothing better to do. So while idly scanning the small screen, she came across one title that made her smile. Quickly downloading the song to her phone, she first set it as her tone strictly for calls from Grissom, and then sent the downloaded song to his phone. Relaxing back into her seat, she smiled to herself and restarted her search for another tone.

* * *

The last two days had been so slow that Grissom had actually finished all of his paperwork. So now, he sat alone in his office playing solitaire on his laptop. If asked, he would deny it until he was blue in the face, but never the less, there he was hoping for a red queen to come through the pile.

He got the Queen of Spades instead.

Just as he was about to string together a very vulgar sentence at the game, his cell phone beeped. Praying to anything holy it was a call out for something, anything, he was disappointed to see the display stating that he had a new text message. That feeling soon morphed into a giddy smile when he flipped the phone open and saw who it was from. Quickly pressing the button to bring up the message, he was confused to see a button that read 'download' instead of a message. Perplexed, he clicked the button and after a minute of waiting until the download bar reached 100, a new screen appeared with yet another link reading 'Listen.' His interest peaked, he clicked the button and within seconds the chorus to the song began to ring out through the speakers.

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Don't tell anyone or you'll be

Just another regret.

Hope that you can keep this

My dirty little secret

Who has to know?"

With an amused grin, he saved the song to his phone and set it as his ringer for Sara. With a small chuckle, he went into the downloadable songs and searched until he came across one that he liked. Downloading it to his phone, he did the same as Sara and sent it to her.

With a huge grin, he went back to his game and found his luck increasing.

He got the Queen of Hearts.

* * *

Now flipping through a Cosmo magazine, Sara was startled by her new song piercing through the silence of the room. Flipping her phone open to reveal a new text message from Grissom she smiled. Her smile only grew when she realized that he had sent her a song back. Going through the channels to download the song, she outwardly laughed when the song began to play.

"Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last  
Need you by my side  
Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static  
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky  
Can't you hear my heart beat so,  
I can't let you go  
Want you in my life."

She couldn't contain the laughter at the song, not necessarily the song, but more that he knew it. Sending him a quick message, she chuckled as she went back to her magazine.

* * *

Grissom was just about to put the last king on the Ace piles when his phone rang out with the All American Rejects. With a dopey grin he flipped it open to read her message.

'Who would have thought that Gil Grissom was a fan of Cascada?'

Letting out a small laugh, he wrote her back.

* * *

Once again her phone rang and she instantly flipped it open.

'Who would have thought that Sara Sidle was a fan of Britney Spears? Maybe I should ask around…'

_He wouldn't! That's it, this is war. _Writing another message she hit send and sat back waiting for his reply.

* * *

'Well I do have my secrets.'

* * *

'Hmm. I'm well aware or your secret talents.'

* * *

'How's your desk? ;)'

* * *

'Lonely.'

* * *

'You'll have to do something about that.'

* * *

'Maybe I'll have you help.'

* * *

'Hmm. Tempting, but against the rules.' _Not in the lab Sara, not in the lab._

* * *

'Your rules. Not mine.'

* * *

'I want you.' _Direct and to the point, way to go Sara._

* * *

'My desk is free. ;)'

* * *

'Cute.'

'Can't blame a guy for trying.'

* * *

'Is shift over yet?' _Way to keep control Sara. _

* * *

'Almost.'

* * *

'Good.'

* * *

'Where?' _Way to keep control Gil._

* * *

'You're closer.'

* * *

'Eager much?'

* * *

'Not eager…just deprived for too long.' _Please, who are you trying to fool Sara?_

* * *

'You say tomato…'

* * *

'Bite me'

* * *

'Mmm. Yes ma'am.'

* * *

'See you in 20.'


	11. No Shared Breakfasts

Chapter Eleven: No Shared Breakfasts

**Chapter Eleven: No Shared Breakfasts**

Over the next month, Grissom and Sara 'saw' each other at least three times a week. Always playing by the rules except for the occasional text talk at work, until after almost a month and a half into their arrangement, a rule was broken.

"_No shared breakfasts."_

After a particularly exhausting bout of 'fun,' both had fallen asleep at Grissom's house, only to be woken a few hours later by Grissom's cell phone. Extracting himself from Sara, he scurried around the room in the buff trying to locate the offending object, all the while giving Sara a magnificent show, making her giggle. Finding the phone in his pants pocket, he gave her a mock scowl as he flipped it open and made his way back into the bed.

"Grissom." He answered as he slid under the covers and lifted his arm so Sara could snuggle back into his chest and then wrapping that arm around her, tracing shapes into the flesh of her arm. "Now?...Yeah…Can't you find someone else?...Yeah alright…Give me an hour." Looking down to Sara, he covered the mouth piece and whispered, "high profile murder" at her nod of understanding, he went back to the phone call and she put her head back down on his chest, until one word had her head jumping up again. "Sara? Uh, I don't know where she is. Have you tried calling her? Not answering huh?…She's, she's uh, probably just um, sleeping. Yeah, sleeping…I'll try calling her…Yes…Yeah, I'll pick her up on the way."

And so, in the interest of time, and the overwhelming need to be together a little longer, they "bended" the rules "just this once" to include breakfast. Together they sat at the kitchen table delighting in Grissom's usual, but very tasty, scrambled eggs and toast.

"This is not a date. Just to make that perfectly clear. This is just two people saving time by eating the same food, at the same time, in the same place in order to get to work as soon as possible." Sara had said, making Grissom want to smile at how she sounded like she was trying harder to convince herself than him.

"Okay." Was all he said before returning to his meal. Truth was, he was disappointed with the way things were going. He wanted so badly to just tell her how he felt, that he needed her in more ways than just fucking her a few times a week. He needed her to know that he loved her, that he never stopped and that he never will. He needed her to be with him everyday. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. But every time he tried, as if she knew, she would tell him to go to sleep, kiss him or change the subject.

So now one rule was broken. And, despite what she had said about it being a one-time thing, it turned into an "every-once-and-a-while" thing and then an "on-occasion" thing and then a "when-the-need-arises" thing and finally a "a-couple-times a week won't hurt" thing.


	12. We Don't Discuss it at Work

Chapter Twelve: We Don't Discuss it at Work

**Chapter Twelve: We Don't Discuss it at Work**

Once the breakfast rule was "amended," it wasn't long before another was broken. While in the layout room looking over the evidence from a hit and run that night, and after an interrupted bout of stress-relief that morning, Sara was definitely feeling the need for…something, or perhaps, _someone._ As if his mind was thinking the same thing, which it was, Grissom came looking for that very someone and found her, her back to him, leaning over the table, magnifying glass and tweezers in hand. Standing in the doorway, Grissom first took in the view and then taking a quick glance around and deciding that it was safe, moved in closer and whispered.

"Do you know how sexy you are when you do that?" Jumping about five feet in the air and letting out a very loud yelp was not his intended reaction, but none the less, he found it quite amusing.

"Jesus! Grissom! You scared the hell out of me!" Once she was done swatting at his arm with the magnifying glass and yelling, it clicked in her mind what he had actually said.

Grissom could practically see the change in her, from pissed off to thinking to flirtatious and he couldn't help the smirk that played at his lips because of it.

"Why hello there Miss. Sidle."

"Hello yourself there Dr. Grissom."

"You almost done here?" He asked quietly, as not to be heard by any outsiders roaming the halls.

"Well, I could pack it up and finish it tomorrow, but…" She spoke slowly and seductively, and then moved to his ear and whispered, "…just don't tell my boss."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind so long as you came over to finish what we started this morning." And thus the next rule was broken. 'We don't discuss it at work.'

"I think that could be arranged."

"Good."

"I'll meet you in half an hour."

"I can hardly wait."

At that point and for several weeks to come, the no speaking of their activities at work rule was also amended, for they would now discuss it, and at quite a bit of length, at work, so long as they were alone.

Their casual talks at the lab about their arrangement soon led to intolerable tension when a case came up in which neither were free to leave the lab for days and when they finally could, it was at different times. And to add to the situation, it was in the middle of heat wave. Sexual desire was hanging heavy in the air and they both felt it. It wasn't long before yet another rule was broken.

_No repeats in the lab._

Finding Grissom alone in his office during a prime moment when there was only a few people in the lab, Sara pounced. Literally. Sneaking in, she closed and shut the door, locking it behind her before Grissom had even acknowledged her presence. Luckily for her, the blinds were already shut, so she didn't have to worry about that. The moment Grissom looked up to see her standing with her back to the door, a slow smirk spread across his face and instantly hers flushed. Not a word was said, no time for even a single breath before Sara was across the room and straddling Grissom's lap, lavishly kissing his neck whilst trying to pull the buttons from his shirt.

"Uh, Sara…what...uh…about…the…the the rul…" He was abruptly cut off by her lips joining his in a heated kiss.

"Shut up." The look she gave him defeated any further argument, and so he put all of his trust into her and went with it.

_Maybe her breaking the rules is her way of saying she wants this to be something more._

_Maybe him letting me break the rules is his way of saying that he wants this to be something more._

"Okay."

Sometime later, both emerged from the musky office, sated and rumpled. Unknown to them was the audience standing in the break room doorway watching their hasty exit in opposite directions, carefully avoiding any acknowledgement of the other's existence.

"Gee guys, I wonder what they were doing." Greg said sarcastically to the rest of the group.

"Well I doubt it was paperwork." Nick added.

"It may have been ON the paperwork." Catherine chided.

"Ew." Warrick shook his head before returning to work.


	13. Opportunity

Chapter Thirteen: Opportunity

**Chapter Thirteen: Opportunity**

The constant game that Grissom and Sara were partaking in, the game of lust and life and mixed emotions, despite how they portrayed themselves, was killing each of them a little more each day. Each time that they were together, knowing that, or thinking that their partner didn't want anymore and so desperately yearning for that very more themselves. What neither of them knew, however, was how frustratingly identical their feelings were.

Sara. Well, Sara was insecure. And after years of being pulled along by a string only to be rejected time and time again, and her prior relationship with Grissom, who could blame her? Still to this day Sara didn't entirely understand their break-up. She felt now as if she would jinx this small part of being in Grissom's life if she were to bring up anything about her truly wanting more of him, wanting all of him.

Grissom. Well, Grissom was just like Sara; he was insecure. And after years of pulling her close only to push her away, who could blame him? Years of breaking her heart over and over again only for her to come back for more had him questioning whether he was even worthy enough to be with her. Especially after the way he left her in San Francisco. He was afraid. Afraid that he would unintentionally keep hurting her and eventually lose her for good. That she wouldn't come back the next time. He felt as if he had blown his chance to be with her fully and that this, this sexual escape he had with her, was all he was able to have.

Several months passed by with their secret arrangement. Several rules were broken and bended, and with their emotions for each other and their situation at an all time high, they were both faced with a decision.

"Can I take you to dinner Friday?"

She couldn't really say that the question surprised her, after all he had been openly flirting with her all week and subtly suggesting at a date, what she hadn't expected was the confliction she was feeling over her immediate response. She barely even let a breath pass between them before her answer slipped from her lips.

"That sounds great."

"Excellent. I'll pick you up at 7:00?"

"Perfect. I'll, uh, I'll see you then." It made her nervous that she was actually eager for this date. With an awkwardly giddy smile, he walked off down the corridor, passing Greg on the way.

"Well he looks happy." Greg commented as he reached Sara, motioning to the all too happy man walking away from them.

"Perhaps he is." Sara tried to say nonchalantly with a simple shrug.

"Any idea _why_ that could be?" Greg prodded.

"Hypothetically speaking?"

"Always."

"Well, then hypothetically he _may_ have just asked a certain brunette co-worker of yours out Friday night, and she – hypothetically speaking – _may_ have agreed." She spoke all of this while avoiding Greg's eyes, instead trying to study a file in her hand.

"Well – hypothetically speaking – I would be very happy for…this brunette co-worker of mine if that was the case. Yo--_She_ deserves to be happy and well Mike Flynn is a good man to do so."

"Mike is a nice guy." She spoke confidently but Greg however could see the difference flash within her deep brown eyes. He had heard the rumors about Sara and Grissom being together, he himself had witnessed the incident in Grissom's office along with the others, but now, he had to question all of that. Question the relationship of Grissom and his certain brunette co-worker.

_She wouldn't agree to a date with Mike if she were really with Grissom. What if they were together and they broke up? I'll kill Grissom if he hurt her. Maybe we really did just read way too much into it. _

"You know Sar, she can't wait around forever for someone who may never see what everyone else does. She deserves to live and love and be loved. And hey, if Mike Flynn can provide that, or you know, Greg Sanders, than she should take it. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself the reward would be worth the wait, if it ever were to happen."

Sara seemed to think this over for a few minutes before quietly speaking in a way that Greg had never heard her speak before, as if in a daze, lost within herself somewhere.

"But what if she loved this other person with her whole heart? What if she thought that despite the pain she feels, in the end it would be worth it. It would be worth it for her to have just one moment where he looked at her the way he once did, they way she still looks at him."

"Then I'd say that you, _she_, needs to figure out what she's going to do to get him to look at her that way…wait did you say 'once did?'"

"Drop it Greg."

"Okay. So _she_ needs to figure out a way."

"Let's say she did something, something that she's not exactly proud of, but something that she felt at the time was the only way to hold onto some small part of the life with him she had, that she craves to have again. And this thing she did, the thing she's not proud of, say it did in fact give her that fraction of a life with him, just not in the way she wants. She still wants more, even though she knows she can't have it. That rules have been made to prevent even a discussion of such a thing. Sometimes, well, sometimes, she wishes she had never done this…this thing she's not proud of, that she could go back to the way things were before, when she wasn't kidding herself into believing that it could be more. At least before she didn't have him at all, so it wasn't so hard." Sara was nearing tears by the end of her hypothetical description of her life and Greg could see it.

"Sara, I think that she did what she felt she could. And I admire her for having the guts to put herself on the line like that for even an ounce of what could be. I know I would never be able to do it. But I also think that he is a stupid, arrogant ass for not seeing what she could offer him, what she has offered to him." He got a small smile out of her on that comment. "And I think that despite how much it may hurt, and how confused she may be, I think that she should go on this date Friday night. I think she should put on her best dress, get all fancied up and just go have fun. Cause really, when was the last time she just had fun? I think she should go, if for no other reason than for me to be proven right and her to see that other people _can_ see the beauty that is this incredible brunette co-worker of mine. And hey, maybe she'll see something she likes in this guy Mike that she'll want to see more of. I'm not saying to go fall in love with the guy, but just have fun, and maybe, just maybe, that pain she feels will ease just a little bit."

With a watery-eyed smile, Sara nodded.

"You know Greggo, I think you're right. I think she should go. I think she's been waiting too long on a dream when reality has been staring her in the face the whole time." The way she spoke, the confidence she now possessed, showed Greg that she had heard him and that she was ready to just live her life again.

"Good for her. She's a pretty smart girl from I what I know. She'll figure it out."

"Yeah, well, perhaps she just has a really good friend that helps her to gain perspective when she gets her head too far into the clouds. Hypothetically speaking of course." She jokingly added.

"Of course."

"Thank you Greg." Sara whispered into his ear as she gave him a tight hug and a kiss to the cheek.

"Anytime Sar. Anytime." He whispered back, kissing the top of her head in return. Upon releasing her from their hug, he wrapped one arm around her shoulder and led her towards the exit. "Now, my dear, let your super cool hypothetical friend buy his equally super cool hypothetical brunette co-worker some hypothetical grub from good ol' hypothetical Frank's."

"Greg?"

"Hmm…?"

"Shut up." Laughing, together they left the lab.

What neither Greg nor Sara noticed was the audience they acquired during their conversation – an audience of one who knew now that he had to do something and do it fast.


	14. Goodbye

Chapter Fourteen: Goodbye

**Chapter Fourteen: Goodbye**

Friday night approached fast enough with Sara avoiding Grissom like he was the plague. She had successfully made it to Friday morning without seeing him much, at least not alone at all. Grissom had tried cornering her several times to talk to her, or ask her over, but she had an excuse each time. When he came to her apartment, the door was locked and by all accounts she wasn't home and hadn't been home much all week. Unknown to Grissom, Sara had anticipated his requests, assuming that it was merely for sex, and to avoid him, had been spending much of her time at Greg's.

Grissom, however, was as determined to find her, to talk to her, as she was to avoid him – to the point that he did something he swore he would never do.

He used being her boss to his advantage.

"Sara, can I see you in my office please?" He had announced Friday morning in the break room as the entire team sat finishing paperwork from the night's activities.

When she, along with all the other's looked up questioningly, Greg with a scowl, Nick, Catherine and Warrick with an all-knowing smirk, and Sara with complete fear he was struck with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

"Can it wait? I'm kind of busy with the rainforest of paperwork here." She spoke to her papers, rather than looking into his eyes, once again afraid of what she might see there. She had to be strong, she knew that. But knowing and doing are on two completely different playing fields, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to partake in that sport.

_I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right…oh fuck, this is pointless._

"Uh, not really." The red creeping up the back of his neck and the careful evading of his eyes from hers told her that this was not about work.

It told Greg as well.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Greg whispered to Sara who was seated beside him at the table.

"It's alright Greg, but thanks." She gave him a genuine smile before turning back to Grissom. She knew that she wouldn't be able to avoid him forever, but she was hoping to make it until tomorrow. With a resigned sigh, she stood and answered her boss. "Lead the way."

Despite her words to him, she left the room before him, leaving him to scurry to keep up with her as she power walked to his office. Before entering, she checked first to be sure that the blinds were open as well as the door.

Grissom followed her, not helping himself as he shamelessly took in the curves of her butt and the way her hips swayed as she walked. While he followed her to his sanctuary, he realized his mistake.

He had no clue what he was going to say.

All week, ever since 'overhearing' AKA 'eavesdropping' Sara's conversation with Greg, he had been trying to figure out what to say to her, what to do, and each time he came up blank. He only knew that he had to do _something_. He couldn't for the life of him think of what.

The most he had come up with so far was in knowing that it would be a bad idea to inform her that he had in deed heard her little confession to Greg or that he knew of her date with Mike Flynn. After all, one of her original rules had been that she _was_ free to see other people if she wanted. Even if it killed every cell in his body to think about it.

Thinking back, Grissom could understand now why every time he tried to tell her anything about him wanting to be with her fully Sara had stopped him. It wasn't that she didn't want to hear what he was going to say, but rather she thought that he was going to end what they had, the little piece that it was. He needed to tell her, he needed her to know.

But how?

"What's this about?" Her voice broke through his thoughts and he realized then that they were standing in his office, and by the look on her face, for quite sometime and he had yet to speak.

"I uh…" He stumbled through his opening as he stepped closer to her, only to have her take a step back.

Now he was worried.

"Look, Grissom, it's end of shift, I'd like to leave, so if you don't actually need something right now, I'd like to go. Have a good day Griss." She didn't want to sound so harsh to him, but just being in the same room as him was breaking her resolve and she knew she had to get out of there. Hastily, she moved for the door.

But he was blocking it.

"Excuse me Griss." She asked politely, avoiding eye contact, knowing full well that if she looked into his cerulean orbs she'd be lost and wouldn't be able to say no to anything he asked of her.

"No." Her head snapped up to meet his when that one word fell from his lips with such certainty, such confidence that it actually made her heart skip.

"No? Please, Grissom. Just let me go."

"I can't do that Sara." Finally her eyes met with his and in that instant she knew he knew about her date, and he knew it too.

With misty eyes, she pleadingly whispered one word.

"Please."

And they both knew she was begging for more than to be let out of his office, she was begging him to release her heart from the hold he had on it since the first day they met.

Seeing the pleading nature of her eyes, and the undertone in her voice, he couldn't say no, he couldn't deny her of her happiness. He wanted to make her happy, he knew she wanted him to be the one to make her happy, but he knew that she wanted to see if someone else could, so wordlessly he stepped aside and set the love of his life free.

Several silent minutes passed with both Grissom and Sara staring at one another. Sara was fighting an internal battle with her heart and her head. Stay or leave. She didn't know the true intentions of Grissom wanting to talk with her, didn't know that he wanted to be with her. With one last wistful smile, she ducked her head and moved to the door. With her hand on the knob, ready to open it, and her back to him, she quietly whispered the two words he never thought he would hear again, never wanted to hear again.

"Goodbye Grissom." With tears threatening to fall and her resolve crumbling at her feet, Sara hurried from the room, the building and him.

"Goodbye Sara." Grissom said to the now vacant room. Two words he never wanted to say again. Saying goodbye to the woman you love is the hardest thing, setting her free to be who she is without you, it's something that Gil Grissom had officially done twice now, and he realized that it hurt just as much if not more the second time around.


	15. You, Grissom, Are an Idiot

Chapter Fifteen: You, Grissom, Are an Idiot

**Chapter Fifteen: You, Grissom, Are an Idiot.**

"You're an idiot, you know that right?" Apparently spying on personal conversations of Sara's was a trait that both Greg and Grissom shared. Startled, Grissom spun around to find the one and only Greg Sanders standing in the doorway to his office, looking extremely pissed off.

"Excuse me?" Grissom asked, baffled as to where Greg had even come from.

"You heard me. You, Grissom, are an idiot." Pausing, and taking a deep breath, Greg shut the door before lunging at Grissom, getting up in his face and letting his self-control go straight to Hell. "That woman is so in love with you it's scary. She has put her own happiness on the backburner to wait for you to take the damn blinders off time and time again, and you, you just don't see it do you? You don't see the amazing woman that she is. You don't see what she's offering you, what she has been offering you. Sara would die for you, and you can't even love her back!"

Taking a step back, seeing that Grissom was shell-shocked by his sudden outburst, he lowered his voice and continued. "Do you realize how lucky you are? I mean seriously. There are people here that would kill for Sara to love them just a fraction of the way she loves you. No one understands why she does. You treat her like shit and she just keeps coming back to you. I get that you guys have a history, I do. Granted I don't know what that history is, but I know there is one. But whatever it was that went down between you, you need to get over it. She's here. Now. I think that she's proven pretty well over the last five years she's been here, that she's not going anywhere. You're killing her with what you're doing. Killing her. Is that what you want?"

"No. God no."

"Then do something Grissom. Make yourself worthy of the love she has for you."

"I don't know what to do." It was hard, hard for Grissom to admit to such a thing, especially in such a dejected way. It actually made Greg kind of sad for him.

"Neither does she."

"She's going on a date tonight."

"I know. Doesn't mean she knows what to do. She wants you Grissom. Get that through your head. You. But, she doesn't think she can have you, so she's trying to move on, she's trying to find something, someone else, that maybe, just maybe, she can give a little piece of her heart to."

"I want her to be happy. That's all I want. That's all I've ever wanted. That's why I left San Francisco. I wanted her to be happy."

"And is she? Has she ever really been?"

"I don't know."

"Grissom, the happiest I have ever seen Sara is when she's in a room with you and you notice that she's there. God, you're the one that's always telling us to follow the evidence, the evidence never lies, but you are the first one to ignore it when it's right in front of you."

"So what do I do?"

"You just…love her, and the rest will fall into place."


	16. Nerves, Compliments and Confidence

Chapter Sixteen: Nerves, Compliments and Confidence

**Chapter Sixteen: Nerves, Compliments and Confidence**

"You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. That's it just breathe. Breathe. Breathe." The mantra had been repeated over and over again for the past fifteen minutes.

She was no less nervous than she was when she walked out of Grissom's office that morning. She had spent the entire day lost in thought. Confused. Pacing the floors of her small apartment, and picking up the phone repeatedly, dialing the first few digits of his phone number before slamming the handset back down and cursing herself for even thinking of calling him.

"You can do this Sara. You have to get over him. It's never going to happen. Move on."

So now she stood, freshly showered, dressed, made up and ready for her date.

And as nervous as humanly possible.

She was actually starting to feel a bit guilty, as if she were using Mike Flynn as a rebound of sorts. Using him just to get Grissom out of her system. But on the other hand, she was feeling slightly anxious to go on a date, to have fun and just enjoy an evening, no expectations, no pressure.

Basically, once again she was extremely confused.

Luckily, her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and she was saved from any further mind boggling debates of life and love. Taking one final glance in the mirror by the door, sighing and accepting that was the best she was going to manage given her havoc wracked brain, she opened the door to find a rose being extended to her.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She replied as she took the proffered flower, albeit a bit shyly, unaccustomed to compliments.

"Are you ready?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes. I am." With a smile that portrayed a confidence she was suddenly lacking, Sara allowed Mike to lead her out of her apartment, flinching slightly when he placed his hand to the small of her back to guide her.

_Why am I freaking out? It's just a date. Just a date. Just a…A date with someone that's not Gil. That's why. You need to get him out of your system Sara. _

"So…where are we going?"


	17. Finding a Way

Chapter Seventeen: Finding a Way

**Chapter Seventeen: Finding a Way**

"Greg, I need you to find something out for me." Grissom pleaded into the phone to the sleepy resemblance of what could be Greg Sanders.

"Erm…" Greg mumbled, followed by what sounded like a crash and a string of cursing.

"Uh, Greg?" Grissom asked tentatively after pulling the phone from his ear to look at it perplexed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, just because you and Sara are like some weird hybrid of humans that can go for days without sleep doesn't mean the rest of us are as capable."

"Sorry Greg, but I need your help."

"So I heard. What do you need?" He groggily asked.

"I need you to find out where Sara's going to dinner with this Mike guy."

"You're kidding."

"Uh, no."

"What, are you going to go all caveman on her and go there, pull her out by her hair? Way to show her that you love her Bossman."

"That's not what I'm going to do." He replied, rather petulantly.

"Then what _are_ you going to do?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out."

"Well you need to do something, and do it soon."

"What the hell am I suppose to tell her? I don't know how to do this stuff. There's a reason I've been alone most of my life you know."

"Tell her how you admire her. When she's upset, hold her as tight as you possibly can until she knows that you won't ever let her go. Always pick her over anyone and thing that comes up. Even your precious bugs. Play with her hair, tickle her, wrestle her to the floor for the TV remote. Just talk to her, tell her stupid jokes until she spits soda out her nose. Bring her flowers for no reason at all. Hold her hand and run for the hell of it. Just hold her hand, whenever and wherever you can. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Tell her she's beautiful when her hair is a mess and she's wearing her torn up jeans and paint covered t-shirt. Look into her eyes and smile. Kiss her on the forehead and in the rain. If you want to be with her Grissom, tell her. You'll never know what tomorrow will bring, but at least you can have today."

Grissom was actually taken aback by Greg's sudden romanticism. He often looked at Greg as the pesky, childish sort, never really giving him the respect he deserved, and never really looking to see the real man beneath the surface. In an instant he saw Greg Sanders, the friend, the man that would protect the woman he loved no matter the cost, because he too, loved Sara Sidle.

"Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a good person. I hope that someday you'll find someone who will love you the way you deserve."

"Good luck Grissom. Good luck."

* * *

He had been staring at the hand written scrawl for the past twenty minutes, trying to decide if it was good enough, if it was the right thing to do. He just wanted her to be happy.

_The happiest I have ever seen Sara is when she's in a room with you and you notice that she's there._

Greg's words echoing through his head, he took a deep breath, placing the now folded pages into the envelope and writing one simple word across the front.

_Sara_

With a sigh, he stood, retrieved his jacket, keys and cell phone, envelope in hand and headed for the door, Greg having successfully found the restaurant through his mastery powers of super agent-ness.

_I will never understand how he finds out the things he does._


	18. He's Here

Chapter Eighteen: He's Here

**Chapter Eighteen: He's Here**

Sara was surprised. Not only was she not bored out of her mind or trying to find the nearest exit, but she was actually having a good time. Mike Flynn really was a nice guy, and she really was enjoying her time spent with him. A few times she had thought about Grissom, but not nearly as much as she thought she would. The entire evening Mike had Sara engaged in conversation and slight flirting, over wine, appetizers and meals.

"Can I interest either of you in one of our fine deserts this evening?" The waiter, named Scott, asked.

Sara looked to Mike, and Mike to Sara before both agreeing to indulge themselves with a treat. As they sat talking, awaiting the arrival of their confections, Sara suddenly had a strange feeling. The hairs on the back of her neck rose and a slight chill shot down her spine.

_He's here._

Thinking that her subconscious was just getting the best of her, she continued on talking with Mike, laughing and smiling. His hand would occasionally graze hers in the center of the table, making her stiffen at the contact before relaxing into it.

To any outsider they looked like just another happy couple enjoying a meal together.

To Grissom, she looked happy. But even he could tell she knew he was there. He saw the way she shivered and casually glanced around the room.

She had the same effect on him.

Again he debated whether he was doing the right thing or not. He wanted her to be happy, but he wanted to be happy with her. He wanted _them_ to be happy…together.

Flagging down the server he had seen taking what appeared to be their desert order, he pulled him aside.

"Can I help you sir?" The man, whose name tag read Scott, asked politely.

"Uh, yes. I need you to do something for me."

"Yes sir."

"The woman, sitting there…" Casually, as to not draw attention, Grissom pointed out Sara to Scott.

"Yes, very nice lady. What about her?"

"I need you to give her this." Again, discreetly, he pulled the envelope from his coat pocket and held it out for Scott. "It's very important. But just ask that she read when she's alone, please. And, wait until they're ready to leave. I don't want to disrupt her date."

"I don't quite understand sir."

"Please, I just need for her to have this tonight. Please." Placing the envelope in the young man's hand, his eyes pleading, Scott nodded.

"Of course, sir. I'll be sure she gets it."

"Thank you." Grissom breathed in relief, stuffing far more money into the man's hand than Sara and Mike's dinner was even worth.

"This isn't neces…"

"Please, take it. You have no idea how much this means to me."

With a silent nod, Scott took the envelope and money and placed it in his apron pocket before continuing on to retrieve Mike and Sara's deserts.

Grissom was tempted to stay and watch, but felt slightly voyeuristic, and didn't want to invade on Sara's privacy, so placing his heart in Scott's hands, he left, to wait.


	19. Involved?

Chapter Nineteen: Involved

**Chapter Nineteen: Involved?**

Sara was thoroughly enjoying herself with Mike. She was actually able to see herself moving forward with someone like him.

_Moving forward…me…Ha. Who would have ever thought?_

Together they ate desert, all the while, Sara having a strange feeling. She was almost certain that Grissom had been there, in the restaurant, although she was trying to convince herself that it was just wishful thinking, or perhaps guilt.

"Are you okay Sara?" Mike asked, after she started spacing out, too deep into the world of Gil Grissom once again.

"Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I am, I'm actually really good. I'm having a good time." She answered sincerely, silently cursing herself and banishing Grissom to the back of her mind.

_He is not going to ruin this for me. He's the past, I need to look toward the future. No more Gil._

"So am I." Mike's voice was sweet, and genuine and showed his true emotion. Something Sara wasn't entirely used to hearing. "You know, Sara, when I asked you out tonight, I have to admit, I didn't think you'd agree."

Sara was mid-sip on her glass of wine when he spoke, her eye brows rising in curiosity.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Well, it's just that there were rumors, about you…that you were already involved…"

Sara stayed silent, because really, how could one respond to that.

"…but you're not?"

"Involved?" Suddenly she was feeling very claustrophobic, and the room seemed to be closing in on her.

"Mhm."

"I...uh…um…I, um…"

"Ma'am?"

_Saved by the…well, waiter._

"Yeah?" She smiled sweetly at Scott, desperately relieved by his impromptu appearance.

"Are you Sara?"

"Yes, yes that's me."

"A gentleman was in a few minutes ago and asked that I give you this, he requested that I not give it to you until you were leaving, but I didn't want to risk you leaving before I had a chance to see you." Scott explained, albeit awkwardly, as he handed Sara the envelope.

"A gentleman?" Mike interrupted.

Scott looked from Sara to Mike and back, not sure what to do, or if he was causing issues. Sara looked from Scott to Mike to the envelope with the familiar writing.

_Gil. I knew he was here._

"It's okay Mike I know who it's from." She tried sounding nonchalant, as if she received cryptic letters from mystery men all the time on dates.

"You sure?"

_Don't even think about it Sara. You're moving on remember? MOVE ON! There's nothing in that envelope that's going to be good for you. Just put it out of your mind. Mike's a good guy, just let yourself go._

"Absolutely." With a bright smile, she stuffed the envelope into her purse, unread. Noticing Scott still standing at the edge of their table, Sara turned her smile on him. "Thanks Scott, I hope this didn't inconvenience you too much."

"Uh, no ma'am." Sara inwardly cringed at being called ma'am, but kept a straight face all the same.

"Oh good." When Scott continued to stand there, Sara spoke again. "Was there something else?"

"Uh, no ma'am. Well, yes. It's just the man, he gave me this…" Handing Sara the three one-hundred holler bills Grissom had given him and watching both Sara and Mike's eyes go wide, he continued. "…to give the letter to you, and well, really it was no trouble, and there's no reason for him to pay me. I tried giving it back, but he insisted. I just thought that since you knew he is, you could give it back to him. He just seemed so desperate for you to have the letter; it just doesn't seem right keeping the money."

Sara's mind was racing as to the contents of the envelope now.

_Three hundred dollars?! What the hell was he thinking?!_

"Well, I'm sure he'd appreciate your nobility and all, but you should keep the money. If he didn't want you to have it, he wouldn't have given it to you."

"Are you sure? I mean…"

"I'm sure." Sara interrupted, placing the money back into the young man's hand. "But I will be sure to tell him of your graciousness."

"Thank you ma'am. I hope I didn't cause any trouble."

"None at all Scott. And thank you, you've been great this evening." Mike intervened, receiving a smile from Sara in return.

_He really is a nice guy._

"Well, thank you both. I hope you enjoyed your dinner, and I hope you come back again." The three said their farewells and thank you's, Mike paying the bill, despite Sara's protests, and him leaving Scott a very nice tip.

Walking out of the restaurant, Mike placed his suit jacket around Sara's bare shoulders to protect her from the light chill in the late Nevada air, and escorted her to his car.

"So, I had a good time tonight. With you, I mean." Mike said as he started the car.

"Me too. Thank you. It's, uh, been a while since I've been on a date, and I really did enjoy myself."

"I thought you and Dr. Grissom were dating?"

The sudden coughing fit that hit Sara's lungs had her gasping for breath.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked frantically, pulling the car to the side of the road.

Taking several long, deep breaths, Sara calmed her erratic breathing enough to answer.

"Yeah, uh, I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. So…was that a yes?" He wasn't looking at her, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He pulled back onto the road, focusing intently on the long strip of pavement. She could tell that he liked her, and if she admitted it to herself, she liked him as well and didn't want to screw this up.

"Uh, no. We're not dating. Grissom…Grissom's my boss, and a friend. That's it." She wasn't looking at him either, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. She was trying to sound convincing in her statement, which she was sure she sounded, but to herself, she knew the truth and that was far from it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume. It's just that people talk at the lab, and apparently yours and Dr. Grissom's relationship is one of high speculation."

"No, it's okay and I'm aware of the rumors that circulate around the lab, I just try to take them as just that you know? Rumors. Grissom and I are friends. Good friends, and have been for a long time, but nothing more."

_We never will be._

"Well again, I apologize. That wasn't even my place to bring it up…"

"Really Mike, it's okay. I don't mind you asking. Hey, at least you asked instead of just buying into what people say." As she spoke, she placed her hand on his right forearm that was extended with his hand on the steering wheel. He looked at her hand from the sudden touch and smiled, but didn't say anything. After a few moments he moved his hand down and grasped hers with his, holding it tenderly as they drove on in silence.

It wasn't long before they reached Sara's apartment complex. Finding a parking spot near the front door, Mike stopped the car and turned off the ignition.

"I'll walk you to your door." Was all he said as he disentangled his hand from hers and removed himself from the car. Before she had even unbuckled her seatbelt, he had opened her door for her and extended his hand for her to take.

"Thank you."

"My mother taught me something right." They both smiled as they walked hand in hand to Sara's door.

"Well, uh, this is me." Sara announced awkwardly as they stood in front of the hard wood panel separating her from her comfort zone. Mike smiled and bit back laugh as he leaned in and whispered conspiratorially into her ear.

"I know. I picked you up remember?"

She couldn't help it, she laughed at her own absurdity. As she reigned in her humor, she was caught off guard as Mike's lips were suddenly on hers.

_Uhhhh…_

It took a few seconds for her comprehend what was happening and to respond, but she did.

_Well this is one way to forget Gil._

She knew in the back of her head that it was wrong as she kissed him back, using him like this, but she still went with it. She stopped thinking, stopped rationalizing and just went with it as she unlocked her door and opened it, without breaking from the powerful kiss. Grabbing onto a fistful of his shirt, she pulled him inside with her – Mike willingly went. The moment the door closed, His jacket dropped from her shoulders and she was already starting on the path of his shirt buttons. Her purse fell haphazardly to the floor, its contents falling about the living room, before they crashed onto Sara's sofa.

Mike was atop of Sara, kissing her furiously as she pushed his shirt from his body exposing his muscled chest. He had pulled the straps down on her cocktail dress and lowered the bodice to expose the black lacy bra beneath.

She had begun on his belt buckle, when his mouth moved to her neck and chest. Rolling her head to the side to allow him better access, she dopily opened her eyes, only to spot one thing.

_Sara._

"Stop."


	20. Open Your Eyes

Chapter Twenty: Open Your Eyes

**A/N: Just a big ol' THANK YOU!! to everyone who's been reading this, and to all of the wonderful reviews. You're all awesome! Like seriously, fantabulous! I love you all, and if you're ever in Massachusetts, let me know, I'll make you dinner and we can watch Sara come back to CSI together!!**

**Chapter Twenty: Open Your Eyes**

Sara had begun on Mike's belt buckle, when his mouth moved to her neck and chest. Rolling her head to the side to allow him better access, she dopily opened her eyes, only to spot one thing.

_Sara._

"Stop."

When he made no moves to stop, she gently pushed him off of her and repeated.

"Stop, please." She couldn't even look at him.

"Stop? Are you okay?" Mike asked, genuinely concerned, worried that perhaps he may have hurt her, or that he was rushing things.

_Wait, she pulled me in here._

"I'm sorry Mike, really. I just, uh, I can't do this." She was pulling the top of her dress back up, securing the straps in place as she stood.

"No, I'm sorry. This is too fast, you're right. It's only the first…"

"Uh, no, Mike. I mean I can't do this…not now, not ever. I'm sorry." Mike looked quite a bit taken aback by her comment, not quite sure what had happened.

"Look Sara, if I did something, said something…"

"No, it's not you Mike. Really it's not. I know some people say that just to say it, but I mean it. I um, I'm not really sure how to explain. I really did have a good time with you tonight. You're a great guy…"

"But not _the_ guy." He said, a bit disappointed, but none the less supportive of her choice.

"I'm sorry." Slowly she sat down next to him on the sofa, feeling ashamed of her actions.

"Don't be. I wouldn't want you to force yourself to be with me or anyone, when your heart is really somewhere else. I like you Sara, but if having you as a friend is all I can have, I will happily take that, that is, if you'll let me be your friend." Playfully, he nudged her shoulder with his own, making her smile.

"Of course I want you as my friend. I really do like spending time with you."

"I hope he does right by you." And they both knew who Mike was referring to. Silently Sara nodded as she sought out the letter that was strewn on the floor. The bold, familiar writing stood out to her like no other writing could.

_Sara._

"You gonna open it?" Mike asked, trying to be as good of a friend to her as possible.

"I haven't decided yet." She replied solemnly.

"How come?"

"Cause I'm not sure if I'm going to like what's inside."

"Well, you'll never know until you open it."

"Yeah…"

Standing, Mike picked up the envelope from the floor and gently placed it in front of Sara on the coffee table. Her eyes were transfixed on her name written across the front as he came to stand next to her, having also grabbed his shirt and jacket from the floor. Leaning down, Mike placed a gentle kiss to the top of Sara's head, softly whispering to her.

"Open it Sara. You never know, it could be something you _will_ like too." And with that he left her to her thoughts.

Sara sat there for what could have been hours, just staring at the script imprinted atop the white paper. Finally getting the courage from somewhere deep within her, she picked up the envelope, flipping it over to reveal the unsealed flap.

_Well that's one step closer. Open it Sara. Open it. It's just paper, it's not like it's going to bite you. Unless it will. What if this is his goodbye letter? No, not that. A regret letter? No. A dear John, or Sara, letter? How is it that this one man can do this to me?_

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and pulled the folded pages from their enclosure. With her eyes still tightly shut, she unfolded them and had them at the ready for when she decided to open her now teary eyes.

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Deep breath, and…Open._

Her eyes slowly and hesitantly opened, tears threatening to fall as she slowly began to read his carefully chosen words.

Sara sat there for over an hour, reading and rereading his letter, tears falling in earnest, staining her cheeks and falling to the pages of his words, marking them as hers forever, before a force hit within her and she stood, grabbing her keys and the letter and storming out of her building.


	21. All I Have Ever Wanted

Chapter Twenty-One: The Letter

**Chapter Twenty-One: All I Have Ever Wanted**

_Sara,_

_As I sit here writing this letter to you, I wonder if I am doing the right thing. I wonder if I have wasted all my chances, hurt you too much, pushed you too far to ever be with you again. All I know for sure right now in the confusion that has fogged my mind, is that leaving you in San Francisco all those years ago was by far the worst decision of my life. One which I have never forgiven myself for - never stopped punishing myself for. I think, perhaps, that's why I have pushed you away over the years. Punishing myself meant not being with you, so if I pushed you away, forced myself to be without you, I was hurting myself, but in the end, I ended up hurting you, something that I never wanted to do._

_Please believe me, I never wanted for you to be hurt. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy._

_For the last few months, we have been leading this charade, of rules, lies and consequence. I was lying to you and to myself each time I fell asleep with you in my arms, without telling you first how much I love you. I lied every time I'd pass you in the halls and act as if I don't feel a magnetic pull towards you. I lied every time I stood in a room with you, with my heart pounding, my hands trembling and my mind in overdrive and still forge forth with a stoic façade. _

_I knew that I was still in love with you when you came to Vegas, when for the first time in two years, I felt your presence before you entered the room. I always know when you're near me. The hairs on the back of my neck will rise, a chill will run down the length of my spine and somehow I just feel lighter. It never fails. Call it a "Spidey-Sense" or a "Sara-Sense" if you will, but never the less, it's there. I've never had that with anyone. Ever._

_I love you Sara, with everything that I am. So much so, that it scares me sometimes, leading me to do stupid things – as I'm sure you're well aware. _

_Seven years ago, I fell in love, harder than I thought possible, with the most amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman I had ever set eyes on. You captured my heart and my soul in such a short time that it frightened me. But you were so young, so full of life, and me? Well, I wasn't. I was fearful that if I stayed, if I was selfish and let myself have you, love you, the way I wanted, forever, that I would end up hurting you in the long run. I thought that you would be better off without me, that as much as it might sting for a moment, you'd move on and find someone, someone young, to love and care for you. I was stupid then, and well, I'm not much better now._

_I want to be the one that loves you. The only one. Forever. Or at least as long as you'll allow me._

_Every time we have been together since orchestrating this crazy arrangement of ours, I wanted to tell you, to explain to you the why's, to tell you that I want more. I want more than just your body Sara. I want your heart, your soul, your mind. All of you. I always have. You're my equal in all things life. You're the only woman for me, the only person I want to fall asleep with, the only one I want to wake up next to._

_I trust you Sara Sidle, with my life, my heart and my soul._

_When I overheard your conversation, albeit hypothetically, with Greg, I was lost. Also, I'm sorry to have eavesdropped, but the thought of losing you for good felt like I had just been run over by bus. On the one hand, I felt like dying. Hearing you tell Greg that you wanted to move on, to give up on me, it made me realize how desperate I was to do something, to prove to you I needed you, and that, if given the chance, to love you forever. But there was the other part of me, the selfless part, that only wants you to be happy. And after having caused you so much pain, felt that perhaps this Mike Flynn, or someone else, could provide that for you. Nothing matters so long as you're happy._

_I thought long and hard about what to do. Your distant, saddened voice this morning bidding me goodbye broke what was left of my heart and forced me to take action. Greg helped too, giving me the kick in the ass I needed. He's a good friend and cares very deeply for you. His words are what made me make a choice. He said to me, "The happiest I have ever seen Sara is when she's in a room with you and you notice that she's there." _

_I always notice, whether I show it or not, I notice. _

_I want you to be happy Sara. If I can be the one to give you that happiness, you would make me the luckiest man alive. But, if you have decided tonight that you are ready to move on, that want to be happy elsewhere, I will understand, and I will respect that. I put that choice in your hands. I want you to do what's best for Sara. You deserve the world and more, and I just want you to have that._

_If you love someone, let them go, right? _

_I love you. And either way, whatever you decide, I will always be there for you, no matter what. I just felt that you deserved to know the truth no matter what your choice. I sincerely hope that I haven't caused you any more heartache. _

_Finally, I need to thank you. You have shown me what love is, what life is, what living is. You have taken a man and made him human. For that, I will be forever grateful to you. _

_I love you Sara Sidle._

_Love Always,_

_Gil_


	22. Fight or Flight

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. My computer broke and I just got it back. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. A huge thank you to everyone for the AMAZING reviews. They keep me going! The baby will be 5 months old next week and it's making me kinda sad. Who said that she could grow up so fast?! Anywhoo…here's chapter 22, not very long, but I felt I owed y'all something asap. Thanks everyone!!**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Fight or Flight**

Grissom had been pacing his floors for hours. Nerves were wracking his mind and body as he thought over the events of the night. He prayed over and over again that Scott gave Sara the letter, but then just a quickly had to wonder if he truly wanted her to have it, or if she was better off never knowing, feeling free to move on without the burden of knowing how he truly felt. He was fairly certain after the first hour of pacing, that he had quite possibly burnt a path into the flooring.

Like Sara had that morning, several times Grissom picked up his phone, dialed the first half of Sara's phone number before slamming the phone down and cursing himself for even having thought of calling her.

_You put your cards on the table, now it's her turn to decide if she wants them or not. Leave her be Gil. It's her choice. You gave her the choice, let her decide. And if she decides that she wants to be with this Mike guy…well, that would suck, but you promised her you'd support her never the less, and you will. Having her in your life as a friend is better than not having her at all. God Gil, pull yourself together. Yeah, only your whole life is now resting in the hands of the woman you love and there's nothing you can do to effect the outcome of what she does with it._

Grissom was a wreck and there was only one person that could set his mind at ease, or possibly kill him from heartache.

Sara wasn't faring much better. He mind was so jumbled with memories, good and bad, emotions, good and bad, and dreams, good and bad. She was lost. Her thoughts were consuming her and she was helpless to stop them. She was so far gone that she couldn't for the life of her remember how she had gone from her apartment, to somehow now idling outside of Grissom's townhouse.

He was home. She could tell that much by the lights on and his Denali sitting in the driveway. What she was unsure of was whether she wanted to join him inside.

_This is everything you've ever wanted Sara. Everything. So why am I so unsure? Because he has broken your heart too many times. You're going to have to face him eventually._

Still to uncertain of what she wanted, she pulled out her cell phone, needing to hear the one person that could put her back into perspective.

"Sanders." Greg answered into his phone as he sat lazily in the break room at the lab, surprised by the fact it was a Friday night and they had no cases as of yet.

"Greg…it's Sara." Sara replied hesitantly.

"Hey Sar, are you alright?" Greg sensed the hesitation in her voice and it concerned him, but not all together surprised him, after all he did know that Grissom had been planning…_something_…tonight.

"Uh, I uh, I'm not sure."

"Sar, what happened?" He asked frantically as he sat bolt up straight in his chair.

"I, uh…you know that co-worker of yours…"

"That one with the date tonight?"

"Yeah, her. She went on the date."

"How'd that go?" He asked when she didn't offer any further information.

"She had a really good time." He could hear her as she choked back a sob.

"If she had such a nice time, then why is she crying?"

"Because in the end, she still loves someone else." Now she was outright crying and it broke Greg's heart to hear it.

"He went there tonight, didn't he?" Greg was furious, if Grissom screwed up her date by showing up there, there would be hell to pay.

"He, um, yeah, yeah he did. Uh, he left me…her…a letter. Actually paid the waiter three-hundred dollars to give it to m-her." She actually let out a little laugh at that.

"Three-hundred dollars?!" Greg practically shrieked.

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Must be some letter."

"Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"What if in this letter, he offered her everything she'd ever wanted, the life she'd always dreamed of, with him, but also told her that it's her choice if she wants it or not."

"Is that what she still wants Sar?"

"She wants it to be. But at the same time, she's afraid."

"Afraid? Of what?"

"That she'll have all her dreams come true, only to wake up and find out it was still just a dream. That if she opens her heart to him again, he'll leave and she's not sure if she'll be able to handle that again."

_Again? Fucking Grissom! If he doesn't take care of her this time, death will soon be visiting his front door step, in the form of me._

"Well, I think she just has to ask herself if she believes what he's offering her. And, if she does believe what he's telling her, if she can put her faith into him, then it's a matter of taking that leap and taking that chance. Fighting for the life she wants, or running away from it."

"She loves him. With everything that she is. To the point that she was actually about to sleep with Mike Flynn to try and erase him from her mind. Ugh. I'm such an idiot."

"Must have been a _really_ good date…" Greg teased.

"Bite me Greg. Bite me."

"Hey, I understand Sara. I sleep with lots of girls to get you off my mind…"He joked again, receiving a full spurt of laughter from his telephone counterpart.

"Thanks Greg. I knew I was doing the right thing in calling you."

"I'll always be here Sara. Always."

"You'd better, because I think we both know that I can't handle these things by myself." The both chuckled a little, before silence overtook them, only to be broken by a final statement from Greg.

"He loves you Sara. Take the leap." And with that he hung up, leaving Sara, once again, to her thoughts as she watched Grissom's pacing through the windows.


	23. Important?

A/N: Just another big ol' hearty Thank You to all my wonderful readers for reading and reviewing

**A/N: Just another big ol' hearty Thank You to all my wonderful readers for reading and reviewing. They make the sky blue, the grass green, and me smile!**

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Important?**

"Just do it. Deep breath and open the door. Come on, you can do it." Slowly she reached out with her left hand and grasped the door handle, taking a long deep gust of air into her lungs, she plunged forth, pushing the door open and climbing out.

_Step one: check. Now you just need to go to the door. Go to the door. GO to the door…GO. Anytime now. Alright, you're just warming up, preparing yourself…or you're just chicken. Oh for crying out loud…GO TO THE DOOR!_

Taking steps so small that a toddler could easily show up, Sara made her way to the front door of Grissom's townhouse. A door in which she had walked through many times, but never with the trepidation that she was experiencing now.

_Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. That's it…slow and steady wins the race._

Grissom was still pacing, she could see his shadow walking passed the windows. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

_Back and forth. Back and Forth. Back and Forth. Well it looks as if he's not doing much better than I am. How am I going to do this? This is going to suck. Maybe I should just leave…_

Turning around and hurrying back to her car, her insecurities guiding the way, she heard…

"Sara!"

Stopping, mid step, she closed her eyes tightly, somewhat hoping that she had just imagined his voice in her ears. There she stood, stock-still, turned away from him, and debating with herself whether to stay or to just keep walking.

"Sara…please."

_That was definitely not a yell. He is most definitely right behind me. Okay, and that is his hand on my arm. Oh god, I can't think when he touches me…Be strong Sara. You can do this. You NEED to do this. Just…turn around._

"Sara, honey, look at me…please." His voice was so pleading, so sad and desperate that she was finding it hard to refuse.

On one of his many trips past the front windows of his townhouse, Grissom had noticed her walking towards the door, but just as suddenly, before he could even fathom the fact that she was there, he saw her walking the other way, away from him, and his heart had taken over. So he ran, like a bat out of hell to stop her, to keep her for as long as he could, even if it was only a few minutes in his driveway.

"Sara…" He breathed, inhaling the scent of her.

"I can't." His heart stopped.

_Can't? Is that her answer? She can't? She can't be with me? She can't let herself love me anymore? She can't…_

"I can't look at you…"

_What? Oh god, have I really screwed things up that much that she can't even stand to look at me?_

"…because then I'll have to make a choice and I don't know if I can do that yet. And if I look at you…if I see those beautiful blue eyes of yours, my mind will stop thinking and I'll still be left confused and uncertain of myself."

_Oh._

She sounded so sad, so desperate herself, that his own heart broke for her, broke for the pain he put her through, for forcing her into making a decision, for hurting her to the point of her having such constant doubt. Basically, Grissom hated himself right now.

"Sara, come inside." When she still made no move to either turn and face him, or make a noise, he gently brushed his fingers down her arm until he clasped her hand. "Please. I think we should talk."

Silently she nodded, taking hold of his hand with a force she'd later wonder left bruises in his flesh, and followed him inside, her eyes transfixed on the ground the entire way.

Once inside, Grissom led Sara to the couch, where she hesitantly sat, remembering quite clearly the last time they were on it, and let's just say it wasn't to talk. Together they sat on the sofa, Sara still clutching at Grissom's hand, and Grissom still just as reluctant to let go.

"Gil…" "Sara…" They both began at the same time, only to stop and smile at the awkwardness.

"Go ahead." Gil prompted Sara, hoping that she'd say something, anything, to ease his mind, and if not, well at least the proverbial knife with be plunged into his heart quicker…no need for foreplay, right?

"Gil, I um…I…" Shaking her head to try and find the words she so desperately needed to say to him, she pulled out the letter. "…I uh, got your letter."

"I uh, I don't…I want…Did you…"

"Three hundred dollars?!" She cut him off from his incessant stutter. She stared at him disbelievingly, still in shock that he had paid Scott that much to deliver a well, not so simple, letter.

"It was important?" He offered innocently with that boyish grin she had fallen in love with. It quickly fell from his face though when her face turned somber and she looked down at their joined hands.

"Is it? Important I mean. I just, I'm so confused right now Gil."

"Sara, nothing in this world, or any other world for that matter, is as important to me as you. Nothing. I know that you're confused, and from the bottom of my heart I apologize to you for causing that, that was never what I wanted. It's as if every time I try to do good by you, I end up hurting you and I hate that. But please never, _never_, doubt how important you are to me. I meant what I said in that letter Sara. I love you. I've never stopped. But I also mean it when I say that it's your choice. If you want nothing to do with me, or you just want me as your friend, or boss, or whatever we've been the last few months, I accept that. I love you too much not to. I will do whatever it means for you to be happy. Anything it takes." By this point Sara was crying again, releasing tears onto their joined hands and onto the letter clasped in her other.

"Do you remember before? Before Vegas? Before everything got all screwed up between us? When we were just happy to be with each other?"


	24. Where It All Began

Chapter Twenty-Four: Where It All Began

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Where It All Began**

"Do you remember before? Before Vegas? Before everything got all screwed up between us? When we were just happy to be with each other?" Sara asked with such a wistful tone, already retreating into her mind, into her memories. The last thing she heard before being consumed by the past was Gil answer.

"I'll never forget."

* * *

**MAY 1998**

The Forensic Academy Conference this year was by far the most prominent one that Grissom had ever attended, or taught at. Each year he went, and each year he left, unsure if anyone would even remember one word he spoke other than,

"There's coffee and refreshments in the lobby." Everyone paid attention to that particular line. Everyone.

Except one.

He had noticed her in the lobby earlier that morning, consuming more coffee than he thought one person ever should in a week, never mind twenty minutes. He had been taken by her. Everyone at the conference were all dressed to impress with their suits and ties and skirts and blouses, despite the fact that they were incredibly uncomfortable to sit in for hours on end in the various lecture halls. She, she stood out. Dressed in dark blue jeans and a grey sleeveless top, with sneakers and, what he would remember for the rest of his life, her long brown hair pulled back into a messy ponytail.

She was beautiful and he was riveted.

Tempted to speak to her, but put off slightly by her apparent youth, he grabbed a cup of coffee, surprised to find that there was still some left after her, and went to prepare for his lecture.

Secretly he hoped he would see her again.

Just as he hoped, that afternoon, while setting up slides for his lecture on Forensic Entomology, he suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. He knew however, that he wasn't cold. The lecture wasn't schedule to begin for another ten minutes, so he wasn't expecting anyone to be in the room yet, but when he turned around, he was caught off guard.

It was her. _Coffee Girl._ As he had begun referring to her.

"Uh hi. I hope you don't mind me being a bit early, it's just that there's one too many kiss asses out there, I figured I might be safe in here." Coffee Girl, with another coffee in hand, said with a wide smirk.

"Uh, no. Not at all, and I don't blame you. The joys of being a lecturer is you can avoid the vultures." Grissom answered with a coy smile, not sure exactly where his flirtatious side was even coming from.

Coffee Girl smiled and let out a small, subdued laugh, followed by a flirtatious smile of her own.

"So, you're the Bug Man huh?" The young woman asked as she took in the various jars and boards holding several specimens of bugs.

"Well, some might say entomologist, but I suppose in simplistic terms, yes…I am the Bug Man." With the last statement, Grissom actually sang The Beatles song, only replacing 'Egg Man', with Bug Man.

The Coffee Girl laughed. A lot.

Grissom smiled and blushed. A lot.

"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together?" She replied with a huge smile, showing him once again that gap between her teeth that he was sure to never forget.

"I, uh, I'm Gil Grissom." He remarked after several moments of just staring at each other, moving forward to extend his hand to her.

_Hmm. Gil…Gilbert? Gilbert the Bug Man…_

"Sara. Sara Sidle." Softly, she took his hand and instantly both of their eyes met. There was something there.

_Sara. Sara the Coffee Girl… _

"It's a pleasure meeting you Miss. Sidle."

"Sara. And the pleasure is all mine, Dr. Grissom."

"Well, if I can call you Sara, than I think it would only be fair if you called me Gil."

"Fair enough…Gil."

Again they both got lost in their dreamy staring contest, still holding onto each other's hands, until the door to the lecture hall swung open and the uproar of people walking in broke them apart.

"I, uh, better go…sit and…yeah…" Sara stuttered.

"Yeah…I should probably finish setting up and…yeah…" He stumbled just as bad.

"Okay then."

"Right."

* * *

**PRESENT TIME**

"You threw me for such a loop that day." Grissom spoke, smiling, and stilling holding onto Sara's tender hand.

"_I_ threw _you_ for a loop?!" Sara asked in complete bewilderment. She had begun to relax greatly as they took their trip down memory lane.

"Yes you. I just remember wondering how one person could consume so much coffee." He joked, receiving a job to the ribs in return.

"I think in the last few years you have almost met my quota for a day." She teased back.

They both smiled and sat for a minute before Gil spoke once more.

"You were so beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. When you walked in, it was like I just knew you were there before I ever turned around. I often refer to it as my Sara-Sense." He got a bit of a chuckle from that before continuing. "I always dreaded the conference. Always. Until that day and I saw you in the lobby. I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. You had these jeans with little paint stains on the left leg and this tank top that hugged your body. When you'd walk, the shirt would rise just a bit in the back to show the milky white skin of your lower back. You had what could only be described as the messiest ponytail anyone could ever have…" He was chuckling as he tried to best describe the sight, once again making Sara laugh, a sound he so loved to hear.

"And this is suppose to be flattering?!"

"Let me finish." He pleaded, hand up in a defense measure.

"Alright, alright…you were saying something about how disgusting I looked…please go on." She replied sarcastically.

"Beautiful. I said beautiful."

"You say tomato…"

"Oh just hush and let me finish my story."

"Go for it Romeo, woo me with your tales."

"Well, as I was saying…before I was so rudely interrupted…You had this monstrous ponytail. I mean, this thing looked like you had slept for two days in fitful slumber with it in and then just rolled out of bed and came to the conference…"

"Grissom!"

"Shh! Let me finish."

She groaned. He smiled. She smiled. He continued.

"But of all of the woman there, with all the fancy clothes and the perfect hair and sipping their tea leisurely and eating their crumpets and scones, you, you Sara Sidle, Coffee Girl was my name for you, with your paint covered jeans, your alluring tank top, and messy hair, drinking your eight pots of coffee as if it were the last on earth, you, were the one I wanted to look at, the one I wanted to talk to, the one I wanted to know. You were the embodiment of beauty. You _are_ the embodiment of beauty."

* * *

**A/N: So I think I might want to go further into what happened in the past, via flashback style. But I'm not certain. Let me know what you think and/or want to see. But I know many of you fabulous people have been requesting since the beginning that I shed some light on the G/S history, and well, I'd love to give y'all what you want.**

**Also, I'm working like crazy this week, so I apologize for this not being to speedy, and just a forewarning the next chapter may also take a few days. I hope you'll wait it out with me though!**


	25. Attack of the Vultures

A/N: Okay, so work sucks

**A/N: Okay, so work sucks. But GSR lives on and that just makes the day better. That and babies are too cute to frown at. Particularly mine, I really do like her. She's really awesomely adorable, but hey, I may be just a tad-bit bias…but eh, oh well. So the mini-me (who's 5 months this week!!) is sleeping and I've had way too much coffee to actually sleep, so I figured I feed my lovely people (that's you) with this healthy serving of our favorite cyber nerds!**

**Thanks for all the reviews as always. I'm glad to know y'all like the flashback style, so I did it again. The next few chapters (I think) will contain flashbacks from their past (as soon as I work out what I want their past to be of course.) **

**I have one week left of work! (PS I quit.) I'm going to stay home with the munchkin doodle head and perhaps go back to school in the fall, so some major virtual GSR will be up and coming soon.**

**Now that you've read all this, let's get on with it, shall we?**

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Attack of the Vultures**

"But of all of the woman there, with all the fancy clothes and the perfect hair and sipping their tea leisurely and eating their crumpets and scones, you, you Sara Sidle, Coffee Girl was my name for you, with your paint covered jeans, your alluring tank top, and messy hair, drinking your eight pots of coffee as if it were the last on earth, you, were the one I wanted to look at, the one I wanted to talk to, the one I wanted to know. You were the embodiment of beauty. You _are_ the embodiment of beauty." As he finished speaking, he looked directly into Sara's eyes, so that she could see the truth that resided there.

She saw it. It scared her.

After several minutes of heavy silence, Sara laughed and asked,

"Did I really stand out that much?!"

"Yeah, you did. But I liked it. I loved - love - that you really don't care what people will think of you."

"The teachings of foster care I suppose." Sara said, rather sadly.

"Yeah…"

Again a moment of silence, of reflecting, lapsed before Sara spoke.

"Everyone at the Frisco lab told me how I would be wasting my time going to your lecture. How boring you were as a speaker…" She was also holding back a laugh as she recalled the past.

"And now _you're_ trying to be flattering?" He teased.

"Oh hush."

"Yes dear." Again, both were smiling as they conversed, setting them both at ease with their light banter. Inwardly Sara smiled even more at his endearment for her, she always loved when he called her that.

"Anyways…like I was saying, everyone from work kept hounding me, telling me how boring and dull you would be as a speaker. That you were some old graying dweeb obsessed with the creepy crawlies…" At his completely astonished face, she laughed and added, "Well I guess they weren't entirely wrong…" She was trying desperately not to laugh.

"Sara!" Her efforts at not laughing failed when his voice squeaked.

"Sorry, I had to."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"They were wrong about you being dull though. You had my interest peaked anyways."

**MAY 1998**

About five minutes after their awkward separation, Grissom and Sara were situated in their proper places in the lecture hall. Grissom standing at the front with all his creepy crawlies and Sara in the front row with notebook, pen and coffee. The lecture hall had filled in rather quickly, so she was quite glad that she had taken a front row center seat, otherwise she wouldn't really be able to see the handsome Dr. Grissom…Gil.

_Candace was wrong. Definitely wrong. For one, he is _not _old. Not in the slightest. He's gorgeous. Doesn't seem to be a drag either. He actually seems kind of fun._

"A biology class student conducted an experiment on what would happen to a grasshopper if its legs were taken off. He pulled off one of its legs and yelled 'hop!,' and the grasshopper hopped. Then he took off another leg and yelled 'hop!' and the grasshopper hopped. Then he took all of its legs and yelled 'hop!' but the insect did not hop. He yelled again, but the insect did not hop. So he came to the conclusion that when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it will become deaf." Dr. Gil Grissom, entomologist expert and forensic professional said as his opener for the lecture.

Everyone stayed silent.

Except one.

Sara Sidle laughed. And snorted.

Gil Grissom smiled and blushed.

Finally others joined in, if for no other reason than to make the weird lecturer feel better about himself.

"Alright, alright. Thank you, thank you. I know, the joke sucked, but I find it's a good way to break the ice and get everyone to lighten up a bit." Everyone was now in full attention as he spoke, especially one particular brunette. "Well hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I am Dr. Gilbert Grissom. I am an entomologist and a CSI for the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I find that my two chosen professions blend nicely together and that my expertise comes in handy…for more than just lectures at conferences that no one wants to be at anyways."

Everyone laughed. They all knew it to be true.

Sara was transfixed. This man that she had only known for a few minutes had captured her. He was wit, charm, charisma, looks, brains…everything she'd always hoped for. Right then and there, she made a choice.

_Ask him out._

So later, at the close of Grissom's rather lengthy, but fun lecture, which included involving the attendees in several experiments and dares to eat certain "delicacies" as he referred to them, Sara stood from her seat and approached the man that had her smiling.

"Dr. Grissom." She used in greeting.

"Now I thought we'd been through this already…Miss. Sidle."

"Alright, alright, _Gil_, I was just wondering if you had a minute to answer some of my questions."

"Some? You mean you have more? I don't think I've ever been asked so many questions at a lecture before."

"…Sorry. Habit I guess. I like to learn, and well, you're a great teacher."

"Well, thank you. And please, don't apologize, I'm actually flattered. This was by far the most engaging lecture I've ever done. And…" He leaned close to her, to whisper conspiratorially to her, effectively making her breath go ragged. And his. "…no one fell asleep."

She laughed. He laughed. It was just one big laugh fest.

"So…_Sara_, let's hear these enlightening questions of yours."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely." Leading her back to the first row of chairs, they sat side by side, turned to face each other and Sara began her assault, asking every last question she could think of, even if she already knew the answer, trying to work up the nerve to ask him to dinner.

It only took fifteen minutes before Grissom cut off her question, something having to do with Neanderthals and life, but he wasn't entirely sure, as he'd stopped listening and was focused on one thing instead.

"…I mean, if the Neanderthals hadn't died out like they did, do you think that Earth could sustain having two distinct species of hum--"

"Would you like to join me for dinner?" He rushed it out all in one breath, and in a voice that most people probably would have found frightening, or at least a bit intimidating, but Sara was so caught off guard by his impromptu question, that she didn't even hesitate.

"—ans…Yes."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah."

"I'll pick you up at eight?"

"Sounds wonderful."

Quickly Sara wrote her address on Grissom's hand, despite the fact that she had a notebook in front of her.

_This way he can't lose it._

"I'll, uh, see you at eight…Sara."

"Yeah, you will. Until then, Gil." And with a last lingering smile, walking backwards to the door, bumping a few chairs on the way, Sara left.

_Shit, I need to but something to wear._

_Shit, where am I going to take her? I don't even know San Francisco…_

**PRESENT TIME**

"I remember being so afraid that your address would wipe off that I sat there for close to an hour memorizing it." Grissom laughed as he admitted that.

"You did not!"

"I did. And I was afraid to got to the bathroom, cause I'd have to wash my hands." He was blushing and Sara was finding it to be one of the cutest things she'd ever seen. "Why did you write it on my hand? You had paper if I do remember correctly."

"Well, with a piece of paper, you could have easily…misplaced…said address. Whereas, I was about ninety percent sure that you wouldn't lose your hand in the short time before dinner."

"You never know, I could have been mauled by a bear in the parking lot."

"Or attacked by the vultures…" She quipped, making them both laugh again.

"Ah, yes, the vultures. Attacking those of higher authority and rank when they least expect it."

"I'm glad you didn't lose your hand to the vultures..." When he turned to look at her, noting the comedy in her voice, he nodded, urging her to continue. "If you had, we never would have gone out that night, had the date that could easily be classified as the world's worst date _ever_, and yet we still did it again."

"That was one hell of an…_interesting_…time." Grissom agreed as they both relaxed back into the sofa cushions, leaning against each other, and still holding hands.


	26. Your Fault No, Yours

A/N: Just wanted to wish everyone a big ol' splendubious Mother's Day

**A/N: Just wanted to wish everyone a big ol' splendubious Mother's Day! I hope all you lovely moms out there had a great day. I worked. Yuck. Three more days!! Wednesday at 4:15pm, I am officially unemployed…so Yay for Fanfiction!!**

**So here's my mother's day gift to you all, a new chapter!! WITH…the first of the bad date memories. **

**The most fabulous mother's day gift from y'all, would most certainly be your thoughts on the chapter. Although, I have to say, my mother got me tickets to see The Eagles live in July. I am as equally determined to marry Don Henley as I am Billy Peterson/Grissom, so this is very exciting for me!!**

**Okay and now onto the show! …or story…**

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Your Fault. No, yours.**

"That was one hell of an…_interesting_…time." Grissom agreed as they both relaxed back into the sofa cushions, leaning against each other, and still holding hands.

"I still have that dress you know." Sara said with a huge grin.

"That night was so horrible. I can't believe that you didn't take off half way through, if for no other reason than to save yourself."

"No way. The date may have sucked, but it was funny as all hell. It became like a game, you know, what else can go wrong?" She teased him, he grunted and closed his eyes as he remembered all of the events of that night, taking Sara along with him for the ride.

**MAY 1998**

Sara had been so nervous after leaving the lecture hall, that she ran into several people and a door before safely making it to her car. Knowing that painted jeans, and basically anything else from her closet wouldn't do for a date with Gil Grissom, she had to make a stop. It took over two hours and a hefty credit card purchase to find a suitable cocktail dress for the occasion. A bit more revealing than she was used to perhaps, but nothing trashy.

It was a simple black, with a spaghetti style strap on the right side and the left a thick strap with a layer of thin fabric that flowed down her arm. The bodice hugged to her abdomen like a glove, with a low dropping V-neck design, and the skirt fell perfectly to stop at an angle – the short side on the left about mid-thigh and the longer side on the right, the point skimming her knee. The dress was beautiful, and if she had to admit it, even she thought she looked good in it.

Then came shoes. Another item of choice that Sara had nothing suitable to wear. Unless torn up sneakers, combat boots or slippers would count of course. Heals weren't something that Sara Sidle was accustomed to wearing on account of her incredible height already, so it was strange to wear them, even stranger to be even taller. They would take some getting used to.

Making one last stop for a small black handbag and some decent makeup, Sara was on her way home to get herself ready for her date. Her nerves at an all-time high.

Grissom wasn't doing too much better. He had located a nice restaurant to take Sara to, but he was freaking out.

_What if she doesn't like it? What if I'm pushing things? Why did I ask her out? Okay I know _why_ but I don't even live here, what if this actually goes well? Then what? Who am I kidding, I'll be lucky to get through A date with her, never mind get a second one…She's so beautiful and so smart. _

Shaking his head to rid himself of any and all thoughts, he quickly showered and changed into his nice black suit, with a black button-up shirt and black tie. Even he couldn't deny that he looked good. Freshly shaved and neatly trimmed hair and he was good to go, which was a good thing considering he needed to leave his hotel soon to pick Sara up. Grabbing his wallet, keys and cell phone, he left the room, a nervous flutter taking hold of his stomach.

_You can do this._

Sara was pacing in front of her door. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

_What am I doing? He doesn't even live here. Well, it's not like you're gonna marry the guy. It's one date…it's just a date. An intimate social engagement between two people who just so happen to find the other charming. Just one date. What harm could one simple date do?_

She had showered and dressed, still not entirely comfortable with the amount of skin that the dress showed, but she did feel sexy. She had to wonder however if Gil would be surprised given her outfit change from raggedy street clothes to such fancy formalwear.

_Well, if nothing else, it should be fun to see his face. Oh god, I hope he isn't planning on bringing me somewhere where stained jeans are warranted. Oh no! Should I change? Should I call him and ask? Wait, you don't have his number. Well, that's dumb. What am I going to do?_

Before she could finish her neurotic mind ranting the sound of knocking broke into her thoughts and she turned a terrified face to the door.

_Shit, shit, shit. Oh just open the damn door. Can't really turn back now. I could pretend I'm not home. Dumbass, you're lights are on, cars in the driveway and you've been pacing in front of the windows. Damn it. Suck it up Sara, you can do this. It's just one date…One date…_

Taking a deep breath and swallowing all her fears, she wrapped her fingers around the door handle and turned, pulling open the door to be greeted by one sight she was sure to always remember.

**PRESENT TIME**

"You looked so adorable." She giggled as he head willed itself to rest on his shoulder.

"_Adorable_??" He asked, not sure if the adjective was one he liked.

"Yes. Adorable. I had been on the verge of a potential panic attack about whether you were taking me somewhere nice or to Chuck-E-Cheese, but the second I opened the door all of that went away and had to smile."

"You really thought I'd take you to Chuck-E-Cheese?" Grissom teased in mock-pain.

"Oh hush. But there you were, dressed to the nines, looking gorgeous as always with those beautiful baby blues twinkling and that boyish grin that I just wanted to kiss off…"

"I wouldn't have minded…" Grissom mumbled, Sara laughed.

"But then on top of that you had flowers. Every guy brings flowers, the traditional roses, or whatever was cheapest at the gas station on the way over, but no, you had this bouquet with these extraordinarily elegant flowers that definitely did not come from the Gas 'n Go."

"Well I believe the flowers were what started the, uh…fun…of the evening."

"Oh god. Yeah…I still blame you."

"_Me_?!" He practically shrieked.

"Yes, you. You scared me. Had you not scared me, I wouldn't have…"

**MAY 1998**

"Sara. You, wow. I, uh…yeah."

_Yup, definitely worth the reaction._

_Holy shit, I'm not going to make it through the night. Is that even the same girl?!_

"Yeah, I uh…can clean up pretty good I guess." She replied sheepishly as she blushed from the sheer attention he was paying her.

"You can say that again." Grissom mumbled under his breath as he no so slyly checked her out as she stepped back to allow him to enter. "I, uh…got you flowers." He said just as sheepishly as he extended the bouquet to her. He was so nervous and she was finding it to be quite intriguing

"Thank you. You didn't have to do that." Sara quickly answered as she graciously took the proffered flowers.

"I wanted to." A smile graced his lips as he watched Sara take in the rare blooms.

"Wow, Gil, they're absolutely stunning. This is too much." He was sure that he could almost see tears in her eyes as she smelt the colorful cut petals.

_Flowers? Too much?_

That was the first time that Grissom ever wondered about Sara's background. She seemed truly in awe at having received a gift of thought and expense, like she had never received one before that very moment. He made a mental note to ask her about her past at dinner.

"I'm going to go put these in some water. Again, thank you, they're so beautiful, the blossoms are so outlandish."

"I don't like standard beauty - there is no beauty without strangeness." Grissom quoted.

"Hmm, Karl Lagerfield?"

_Wow. She knows quotes too. She is very smart._

"Yeah, yeah that's right."

"You sound surprised." She said with a cocky smile before leaving him to enter the kitchen for a vase.

"I guess I…"

"Ahhh!"

She had been running the tap, filling the vase and hadn't heard him enter behind her, the sound of his voice startling her into dropping the vase to the floor, shattering glass and water all over her kitchen.

"Oh God, Sara I didn't mean to scare…"

"Fuck!" Sara screamed out in pain as she turned around and just as quickly fell to the floor.

"Sara!" Grissom moved quickly to her side, grabbing a dish towel from the counter to place over the bleeding wound to Sara's bare foot. "Are you alright? I am so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you had heard me come in."

"I'm fine really, and I'm sorry, I'm just a bit of a jumpy person I guess."

"Do you have a first aid kit?" Gil asked as he examined the flesh wound.

"Yeah, right in that drawer over there." Sara pointed to a drawer on the other side of the kitchen and she winced when he reapplied the cloth.

"Okay, hold this and I'll get it. It doesn't look too bad, but we should get it cleaned up and bandaged just to be sure."

_This is just great Sara. Just great. Note to self, fastest way to get someone to run for the hills – bleed all over him after making a fool of yourself. You're doing just freaking spectacular._

_Way to go Gil. Way. To. Go. You haven't even made it to the date and already you've caused her to bleed. Somehow I don't think that's a promising sign for a second. _

Sara took the cloth from him to hold to her foot while Grissom stood to retrieve the kit. Before he even got halfway, he slipped in the water and Sara watched, helpless, as his feet went out and he fell flat on his back on her kitchen floor.

She was fairly certain she'd find this all very humorous later.

"Oh my god! Are you okay? Gil, Gil, say something. Oh my god, are you hurt. Should I call 911? This is all my fault."

"Sara." Nothing. "Sara." Nothing. "Sara!!" Finally. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Sara asked panic-stricken as she scanned his body for any signs of trauma. He actually found it quite endearing.

"Yes. I promise. A little sore, but I'm fine."

"Thank God." Carefully she helped him to sit up, and together they sat back against her lower cupboards.

"How's your foot?" Grissom asked, noticing that she had lost the cloth somewhere, probably when she was thinking he was dead.

"It stings, but I'll live." She chuckled. She had pretty much forgot about it already.

"Well this is starting out to be a great first date." Grissom commented sarcastically, making them both laugh.

"Well, let's just think of it this way, we've both already been injured, is there really anything else that could go wrong?"

"I suppose not. So what do you say? You still want to have dinner with the guy that made you cut your foot?"

"Well that depends. Do you still want to have dinner with the girl that spilt water on her floor making you slip and hurt yourself?"

With a smile they both stood, Grissom helping Sara stand, cleaned up the vase mess, and headed out.

**PRESENT TIME**

"See, I told you…your fault." Sara exclaimed.

"Okay, so maybe it was my fault, but none the less…" Grissom conceded.

"Yeah, yeah…you're fault."

"Okay, so maybe that was my fault, but I blame you for everything else."

"What! Why?"

"Because, you jinxed us."

"I _jinxed_ us??"

"Yes. You're the one that said nothing else could go wrong. Therefore, you jinxed us and thus, your fault." Grissom explained in his logical teacher voice like he was talking about a suspect's involvement in their recent criminal activity.

"Okay bite me." She sulked, he laughed.

"You couldn't have been more wrong." They both laughed at that understatement.


	27. Intentional or Just Another Man?

**UPDATE 5/13/08: So thank you to ishotsherlock for pointing out the whole hand/foot fiasco. I'm not sure why I even wrote that, because I knew it was her foot. Weird. But it has been fixed and I thank you. Oh, and toothchick - there was a second, but I left halfway through when he that i perform certain elicit acts on him in a movie theater. That ended that relationship right then and there. It sucked because I really was enjoying the movie. But hey, I now own it on DVD, so really it's okay. But I promise that G-Man will NOT being doing such things to Sara, because as clueless as he may be, he's not that dumb.**

**A/N: Okay, so this lil scenario actually happened to me on a date. It was far more awkward however. Also, the restaurant is real. And it's amazing. If you ever go to San Fran, go there. It's in the Financial District. Truly awesome place. So this is a little short, but I wanted to get this part out so that I can move on to the next tidbit of fun for our favorite lovey dovey's. Mucho love to all my wonderful readers. You rock. A lot.**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Intentional or Just Another Man?**

"You couldn't have been more wrong." They both laughed at that understatement. Gradually, they had both begun to lean back to where they now were, laying together on Grissom's sofa, Sara resting her head on his chest and his arms secured tightly around her.

"Do you remember what you did in the car?" Sara giggled as the memories flooded her senses.

"Okay, _that_ was _not_ intentional!" Grissom exclaimed adamantly.

"Oh, sure. That's what they all say…"

**MAY 1998**

"So, where are we going?" Sara asked as they pulled onto the main road.

"Chiaro Scuro." Grissom replied without even looking away from the road.

"What!" Her head turned so fast that Gil was actually reminded of The Exorcist. All that was missing was the split pea soup, and well, the Devil.

"Is that a problem?" He was truly confused. Dating and him didn't mix well. It was like oil and water, everyone knows they don't mix, but they keep pouring the two into one container just to see them repel.

"_The_ Chiaro Scuro?!"

"Uh…yes?"

"You're kidding."

"Uh…no?"

"Oh. My. God." If he wasn't totally freaking out in his head as to whether he'd screwed up, he would have noticed the huge grin that was plastered to her face, but the fact of the matter was that he, indeed, was lost berating himself, and therefore he did, in fact, miss the grin.

"Um, Sara, I'm not really from around here, so could you, maybe, fill me in on this restaurant and the reason that you have barely said anything coherent since I mentioned it?"

"Oh! Yes. That is one of the best Italian restaurants in San Francisco! Eating the food there is like being transported to Milan. You taste it and you're _in_ Italy."

"That good huh?" He couldn't help but smile at her exuberance.

"It's _amazing_!" She stopped to take a deep breath, still smiling. "I can't believe this!"

"Have you…" He was about to ask if she had been there before, but before he could, someone in a pick-up truck blew through the intersection they were about to drive through, causing Grissom to lock on the breaks, throwing both Grissom and Sara forward. Instinctively, not wanting Sara to hit the dashboard, Grissom extended his right arm over, using his forearm to block her body, his palm to her. The car screeched to an abrupt halt, along with several others, while the pick-up truck drove merrily away.

"Are you okay?" Grissom asked fearfully, his arm still across her body.

"Uh, yeah. You?" Sara replied, her heart racing for two reasons. One, _that_ had just scared the hell out of her, and two, Gil's hand was currently resting on her breast and he seemed completely unaware of it.

"I'm alright. What the hell was that guy thinking?" Grissom was still somewhat in a state of shock, and had yet to move his hand.

"Uh, Gil?"

"Hmm?"

"Your hand."

"My hand?"

"Uh, well, granted in the last forty-five minutes I've been through more in one date than I have on several, but you're sort of copping a feel and we haven't even made it to dinner yet." Now the turning of _his_ head reminded _her_ of The Exorcist.

"Oh god! I am _so_ sorry. I didn't…I wasn't…You don't think…"

_Yup, you're totally suave in the romance department there Gil. Super sly._

"It's okay, really. And no, I don't think that you were trying anything."

"This isn't going so great is it?" Gil asked sheepishly.

"No, not really. But for what it's worth, I'm still having a good time. It's interesting."

"Well let's see, you've cut your foot, I've fallen, we were in a near accident and I have unintentionally grabbed your breast…shall we call it quits or keep trying?"

"Hell, I say let's keep trying. If nothing else, it'll be a story we can post on one of those 'world's worst date' websites." She offered with a little laugh.

"You're enjoying this."

"Yes, yes, I am."

"Alright crazy lady, let's see what else can happen."

**PRESENT TIME**

"I swear Sara, it really was an accident." Grissom blushed.

"Yeah, sure. You were just the typical male trying to score before the date was even over."

"…or even started." Grissom spoke under his breath.

"See! I knew it."

"I really didn't mean to. But I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it." He hadn't even finished before he received a light smack to his chest. "Ow."

"Oh hush, you deserved that one."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well what about at the restaurant?"

"Yeah, that was bad."

"That was all you."

"What! No way. I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did."

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Gilbert Grissom! None of the stuff at the restaurant was my fault. Simply karma coming to kick our asses."

"Yeah sure…you see it your way, I'll see it mine…"

"Ugh, you are impossible."

"Why Sara, I thought you liked a challenge."

"Well, you, Gilbert, are certainly challenging."


	28. Mussels or Marsala?

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Mussels or Marsala

**A/N: Okay, so I'm really, really sorry for this being so late. Life has been crazy (Go figure, I quit my job and now I'm busier than I was…weird) and then I got hit with major writer's block. The ideas were there, but the words just weren't flowing. So if this chapter sucks, I am very sorry. **

**Also – I wrote a challenging thing on some forum thing on here. It's my first time doing that, so I don't know if I even did it right. But basically I guessed that Warrick was gonna die. Did we not all see that coming? I'm praying that something good will come of this…you know, LIKE SARA COMING BACK!! She has to come back for at least the funeral. I mean, come on! They were friends for EIGHT years, Sara's not the type that's gonna be like "Oh sorry that you're dead, but I have to deal with my mom and the ghosts of my past." So if there isn't some serious Sara-Return-Y-Ness this fall, I will be VERY VERY upset. Okay that's all. Enjoy the chapter. I hope.**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Mussels or Marsala?**

Sara couldn't remember the last time she had felt this comfortable. Even through the months of sex she had been sharing with Grissom, it was never fully comfortable for her, because that's all it was. But right here, lying in Grissom's arms, laughing, joking and recalling their adventures together, was the most at ease she had felt in ages and she just felt right, like this was where she belonged. She could only hope that things could be this way forever.

_Maybe this could be. But what if this is all just a reaction to my date with Mike? Then I say yes, and things go back to the way they were only to have my heart broken again? I can't handle that. I guess I'll just savor this moment._

"So, Dr. Grissom, please enlighten me as to how I caused such havoc on our evening way back when. I'm sure I will just _love_ hearing this one."

"Well Miss Sidle, it all started…"

**MAY 1998**

When they walked into the beautifully decorated restaurant, both Gil and Sara knew it was the perfect place. Neither would really pin point as to why, but it just felt right. After being escorted to a small table in the bar section and read the specials, they were left for a minute until their server arrived.

"Hello and welcome to Chiaro Scuro. My name is Christine and I'll be serving you this evening."

Both Gil and Sara greeted their waitress and Gil ordered them a bottle of wine. So far everything was going nicely.

Uneventful.

So far.

"So, I believe that you were about to say something in the car about having been here before? You know, _before_ I _unintentionally_ 'copped a feel' as you put it." Gil asked with that boyish grin of his. As much as he normally would have denied such facts, he really was having a fun time. And like Sara, he was looking forward to whatever else Karma had to offer them.

"Oh yes…_before_ that…" She smirked. He blushed. "And yes, I have been here. Once. A long time ago. Some friends of mine brought me here for my graduation from Berkeley."

"Berkeley? Impressive." He truly was impressed. He knew she was smart, he had learned that much by her endless question, of which she already knew the answer, but Berkeley was top of the line.

"For grad school yeah." She replied, nonchalantly, not meaning to have brought that up. She was proud of her education and she worked like hell to get it, but she wasn't someone that went fishing for compliments or bragged about herself.

"What about before that?" He was interested, she could tell, she just felt awkward. Most men, once finding out about her smarts, mainly that she was usually a step or two above them, ran the other way. Grabbing her wine glass, she took a sip and with her mouth to the glass and eyes averted answered his question.

"Harvard."

"Harvard?" He asked, not quite sure if he had heard her. Instantly she opened her menu and glued her eyes to its pages.

"Yup. So, what are you getting? I was thinking the marsala…"

"Those are both phenomenal schools Sara."

"Uh, yeah. So, the Marsala? Or maybe the mussels."

"Sara…"

"What? You're right. The mussels can get kind of messy."

"Why are you so reluctant to discuss your education?" He was truly perplexed. Someone with such a striking education was seemingly ashamed of it.

With a sigh, Sara put her menu and wine glass down, resigned to the fact that he was not going to drop this subject.

"It's not that. I'm proud of my education. Very proud in fact. I've worked very hard to get where I am."

"So then why the avoidance?"

"People – men – usually see me, ask me out once, learn that I'm smart and I never hear from them again. I guess they're intimidated by me or something."

"Well, I'm not one of those men. I find your mind to be very intriguing. I think that people who resort to their brains rather than they're bodies to work through life's problems are noble, and to me, all the more attractive."

It was safe to say that she didn't quite know how to respond to that. She had always been teased about her complex mind, never rewarded. Teachers would be annoyed because she'd point out their errors and read ahead of her age group. At her numerous foster homes she was always rejected as the girl that thought she was better than the rest. Which she didn't think, but they thought that. Counselors told her that she was avoiding her problems by escaping into books instead of facing reality. At work, she was just the girl with no social life to speak of that worked all the time. It didn't matter if she did her job great because to others she was just weird.

So this – this applaud for her knowledge – it was strange.

"I…uh…"

"So, what are we thinking tonight? Do we need a few more minutes?" Christine asked, far too perky for Sara's liking, as she returned to the table.

_Saved by the…server._

"Go for the mussels. You only live once right?" Gil prodded. She smiled flirtatiously and nodded.

"What he said. I'll have the mussels please." Sara told Christine.

"Oh, excellent! They're so good here."

_Of course they are. What? Were you going to tell me they were gross? You work here…_

Grissom could practically see the thoughts flashing across Sara's eyes as she rolled them and had to hold back a laugh. Coughing quickly to cover himself and regain control.

"I'll, uh, I'll have the Shrimp Toscana please."

_Wait for it. Wait for it. She's going to say something._

_Wait for it. Wait for it. She's going to react somehow._

"Another exceptional selection!"

_Bingo._

Sigh. Eye roll. Slight choking on wine.

_Bingo._

"I'll just go put this order in for you both. If there's anything you need, anything at all, I'll be here." And with that Christine took off toward the server's galley to place their orders, and Grissom's control started slipping. He laughed.

"What?" Sara asked, looking around to see if she was missing something.

"I made an _exceptional_ selection. I feel I should be swollen with pride." He chuckled. She couldn't help it, she joined in.

"Ugh. I hate overzealous waitresses. They drive me insane. I'm sorry." She declaimed, slightly embarrassed.

"No, no, no. I thought it was rather entertaining. Besides, I agree with you. Although I am curious where this hatred of perkiness began." He added with shrug. If it was possible, he was even more attracted to this woman.

"I thought you were Dr. Grissom, not Dr. Phil." He smiled one of the largest smiles she would ever see from him, but none the less said nothing, urging her to answer. "Alright, alright. Probably back in college. I had waitressed my way through it and trust me, you don't need to be _that_ perky to make good money."

"Mmm. Good point."

"Excuse me?" Christine's voice broke through their conversation and both their heads turned to see the animated waitress standing beside them with a martini in hand.

"Uh, yeah?" Sara asked, not sure what she needed.

"I'm sorry ma'am…" Sara cringed at the name, and again Grissom had to choke back a laugh. "…but that gentleman…"She paused to point out a young man sitting at the bar, who was obviously trying to flirt with Sara with his eyes as he held up his own martini to her. "…has sent this over for you."

"You have got to be kidding me." Sara shut her eyes before slamming her forehead onto the table.

Now Grissom was laughing. Usually he probably would have been offended by this guy's audacity, but not tonight.

"Well Sara, you _are_ the one that said you wanted to see what else could happen." He teased. Slowly her head rose, just enough for him to see the death glare she was sending, only to cause him to laugh harder.

"Uh, I'm sorry, but what should I do with the drink? I'm kind of new here and I've never had this happen before." Christine, who was obviously very young and naïve asked, sounding truly confused and innocent.

"Kill me." Sara mumbled as she rubbed her forehead.

"Send the drink back and tell him thank you but that the lady isn't interested." Grissom politely responded. Sara removed her hand from her face and looked at Grissom with the most grateful expression before mouthing to him.

"Thank you."

Silently Christine nodded and headed back towards the bar, intent to explain things to the drink-sending-man.

"Don't. Even. Say. It." Sara stated with a glare, which would have been more frightening had it not been accompanied by a grin.

"Say what? I have absolutely no idea what you are referring to. I mean surely I wouldn't say anything like 'this was bound to happen' or 'I told you so,' so really what…" Before he could finish, she had thrown a dinner roll at him, effectively stopping his mockery.

"Did you just throw a roll at me?" He asked in complete shock.

"Well, it shut you up!" She laughed. His stunned face was priceless.

_Yup, DEFINITELY possible to fall for her further._

**PRESENT TIME**

"I told you it wasn't my fault!" Sara laughed.

"Oh please! It was so your fault." Grissom chuckled back, the force of it shaking Sara's body that was snuggled up close to his own.

"It was not! I didn't ask for that guy to send me a drink!"

"No, but did you see yourself that night? You were asking for someone to!"

"Yeah, YOU."

"Hey, I bought wine…" Grissom stated rather petulantly.

"Ah, yes…I _do_ remember the wine…"

"I'm never going to live that down am I?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so."

"You're evil."

"Well, yeah."


	29. Now She Doesn't

A/N: So again, I am really, really, sorry that this is so late

**A/N: So again, I am really, really, sorry that this is so late. Once again, my life has become a three ring circus and I've only been able to accomplish a couple paragraphs at a time, but now Chap 29 is here. I really hope you like it. I wanted to kind of put a full range of emotions in this chapter, and I think I sort of came close, so please let me know what you thought of it.**

**Oh, and a big ol' thank you to my wonderful friend Emily for reading this entire story, every chapter so far, at about 11:00 at night when she should have been studying for her finals, all to help me get through my writers block. I love her. You should to! Go Emilicious Mae!**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Now She Doesn't**

"I blame you for everything with the wine, you know." Grissom told her with his utmost serious tone.

"What?! Again, _why_ me? Because if I do recall correctly _I_ was the one who got the short end of the stick on that one."

"It's very simple my dear Sara. You see, you were portraying the damsel in distress…"

"Excuse me?" She asked, clear agitation at his representation of her evident in her voice.

"Oh hush and just hear me out."

"I so want to smack you sometimes."

"Oh never. Now shush."

"Did you just shush me?"

"Yes, I did. Apparently it didn't work. I'll try again. Shush…Ow!" He rubbed his side from where her hand had just _accidentally_ made contact with him at a high force.

"Oops." She remarked innocently.

"Did I mention you're evil?"

"Once or twice." Her smug smile was making it very hard for him not to outright kiss her.

"Alright, alright, now, as I was saying…"

"Oh yes, I believe you were about to tell me how _I_ was the damsel even though I had the situation perfectly under control."

"Oh yeah Sar, complete control." He scoffed. She gave him a death glare. "Now, _again_, as I was saying…" He paused, expecting her to interrupt with some witty comment.

"Yes? Please, continue kind sir, tell thy damsel of thy heroic adventures in wine spillage and defending thy woman."

"Definitely evil…" She laughed as he mumbled.

**MAY 1998**

"Still sure you want to test the odds at any more, uh, events, happening this evening?" Gil asked as he sipped from his wine glass.

"Oh yea, I laugh in the face of danger. Wa Ha Ha Ha." Sara quoted, making them both smile.

"The Lion King." Sara's eyes could possibly have fallen out of her head from how far they were bugged out.

"Somehow I didn't have you pegged as a Disney Classics fan."

"Fan? I don't know if I'd go as far as to label myself as that, but I have seen the movie, many times in fact."

"You don't just watch it to point out the inaccuracies in the drawings of the bugs do you?" She teased, he smiled.

"Well, as much as I may find such things to be extremely annoying, I kind of got past that the first time the bugs started speaking perfect english."

"Good point. So tell me, if you don't mind, why watch the classics?"

"I watch them with my friend Catherine's daughter, Lindsey. She's four. Catherine's going through a rough divorce with Lindsey's father, so I try to watch her as much as I can, to get her away from that environment. And in return I get the title of 'Uncle Gil.'"

Sara felt a little twinge in her heart as she thought of this seemingly stoic man sitting with a four year old girl, watching Disney movies and playing with Barbie's, going far out of his comfort zone, all to keep her from having to face the reality of harsh life. If only she had had someone like that when she was young, maybe things would have been different.

"That is a very sweet thing to do, Gil." Sara's genuine response and wistful stare had Grissom both blushing and again questioning her past. He could see it in her eyes; a sad, yet envious expression which she was trying hard to hide behind a mask of indifference.

"Well, I think every kid needs somebody. I'm glad to be _that _somebody for her." He was sure that there was something when he saw her eyes grow slightly wet and she coughed to try and cover it.

"I, uh, I need to run to ladies room. I'll, um, yeah." She hastened an excuse as she practically jumped from her chair and ran for the restrooms.

_I think I said something wrong._

Gil sat there, unsure what he should do, whilst frantically watching Sara.

_I really I hope I didn't screw this up already._

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Sara was struggling to regain her composure. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, Gil's words had stung. She didn't fault him for them. In fact she praised him for his sincerity and care for this little girl Lindsey. It just hurt, knowing that she had never had that person in her life when she was the terrified little girl with bruises marking her light frame, hidden beneath the baggy clothing.

_I wonder if things would have been different had I had an 'Uncle Gil' to care about me, maybe then someone would have noticed… You can't think like that Sara. The past is the past. You can't change it. There's no sense in recollecting it, or dwelling on it. Pull yourself together._

Taking several deep, calming breaths, Sara left the bathroom to return to her date with a fresh mind. She hadn't made it even half way back to their table before she was stopped.

"Hey pretty girl." The man purred as he approached her.

"Uh, hi. If you'll excuse me…" Sara tried maneuvering her way around the man, but he moved with her. "Can I help you?" Her voice may have been directed to the man, but her eyes were searching out for another.

"What's the rush Beautiful? What do you say I buy you a drink?" The all-too-confident man flirted, as he stroked his fingers down the course of Sara's upper arm; a gesture that did not go over well with her.

"I'm sorry, but I'm actually here with somebody. If you'll excuse me, I really should be getting back to my table." She was uncomfortable, that much was obvious to anyone within a visual or hearing distance. Well, all but the man standing before her.

"Oh, I saw him. What I didn't see is why a stunningly gorgeous woman such as yourself would be with him, when you could have me." Again with the touching of her arm, and moving up to graze her jaw bone.

_Cocky much? Is this the same guy from the bar?_

"Alright look, I tried to be polite about this, but you obviously aren't getting it. I'm not interested. The man I'm with is twice the man you'll ever be, and I would choose him over a cocky son-of-a-bitch such as yourself any day. And if you touch me one more time, so help me God, you'll be pulling back a bloody stump. Understood?" Sara spoke quietly, so as not to cause a scene, but forcefully enough to get her point across as she not-so-gently removed his hand from her arm.

What she hadn't realized was that Gil had been watching her from their table, and had seen the man approach her. From his distance, however, he couldn't hear them, but he could make out the man touching her and Sara's tensing from it. Sara's back was angled toward him, making it hard to clearly see her face and thus, read her lips. Feeling as if Sara may need some assistance, he rose from his seat, grabbing both their wine glasses and proceeded to where Sara was, just in time to hear her little outburst to Mr. Ego.

His own ego boosted just a bit at the part about him.

"Is there a problem here?" He interjected as he stepped up next to Sara, placing a hand on the small of her back and handing her one of the wine glasses.

"No problem at all. I was just about to buy the lady a drink." The man stated rather arrogantly.

Grissom, had he not been standing there, currently _in_ the position he was, he would have laughed at Sara's 'why-won't-you-get-the-hint' expression, and the way she was balling up her fist.

"Well, as you can see, the lady already has a drink. Now if you don't mind, we'd like to be getting back to our table." Gil offered, trying to diffuse the situation. Sara nodded in agreement, and Gil began to lead them away. That is, until the insufferable man took hold of Gil's wine from his hand, forcing both Gil and Sara to turn back to the man.

As they were turning they heard the man say, "well, now she doesn't." before he attempted to throw the dark red liquid at Gil, but as they turned, it ended up hitting Sara instead. The wine was in her face and dripping down her neck, chest and covered the top half of her dress.

"Oh. My. God." Sara gasped, horrified.

"Now, that is just too much! Who the hell do you think you are?! Apologize to her. NOW!" Gil shouted at the man. They had the entire restaurants attention now, the manager making a hasty run towards them.

"I'm not going to apologize to some prude." The man cockily responded as the manager made his way to them.

"That's it!" Sara yelled, ready to lunge at the man, while Grissom held her back.

"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry ma'am, sir." The manager, who wore a name tag reading Joe, said, horrified himself at the events that had just taken place. "Jenny, get me some towels, and club soda! Now!" Joe shouted out to one of the waitresses, who disappeared like lightning at the order. Before any one could say anything else, a siren could be heard out front of the restaurant. Apparently one of the employees had called the police department.

As the police came in, they detained the man following a breathalyzer test, which the man failed, miserably. After explaining to the officer what had transpired and telling them several times she was not interested in placing any sort of charges, Sara excused herself to the rest room, again, to get cleaned up.

While Sara was in the bathroom, Gil was still trying to make clear to the officer that no charges were being pressed, and once that was finally settled and the cop and drunken man, who they discovered was named Lucas Martin, had left for the police station, Gil then faced the manager of the restaurant, Joe. He insisted that their meals be on the house, that they get complimentary dessert and free meals whenever they come in. Gil insisted however that none of that was necessary, that it was not the restaurants fault and he was not going to allow them to feel as though they were.

"Really Sir, Sara and I are fine. No physical damage was done, other than maybe to her dress, but none the less, that still is of no responsibility to you. That man is the one that is at fault here, not you. We appreciate your offer, but really, it is not necessary." Gil tried, again, to explain.

"But…"

"He's right. There is no reason for you to pay for our meals, or show us any courtesy other than just two guests here for a nice dinner." Sara spoke up behind Gil, seeing him getting slightly frustrated with the manager's persistence.

"But your dress ma'am, at least allow us to pay for the dry cleaning." The man practically pleaded. Sara actually felt for him, but none the less, she and Gil were in agreement that the restaurant was not at fault for the goings on of one ignorant man.

"This dress? Oh, please. Club soda and some paper towels, took it right out. It won't be necessary. There is only one thing that I will ask for…"

"Anything, please, whatever you'd like."

"Just for our food to be heated up, it seems that all of this took longer than it did for our food to cook." Sara smiled sweetly and motioned to their table where their food had, in fact, been delivered already.

"I'll have two fresh plates sent out right away. And please, at least allow me to provide you both with some dessert tonight, on us." The man was so frantic, it was actually slightly endearing.

"Alright, but just dessert. And only because I have a feeling you'll end up taking it off the bill anyways." Gil replied lightheartedly.

"Thank you Mr. Grissom, thank you. Miss. Sidle." The man shook each of their hands before disappearing into the kitchen. Within seconds Christine was headed to their table, clearing the old plates, and Gil noticed, replacing their bottle of wine with a new one, a full one.

"Oh just leave it. The poor guy is so stressed out, let him do what he needs." Sara pleaded to Gil as they stood where the manager had just left them, before slowly making their way back to the table.

"Are you really okay Sara? That man, he didn't hurt you did he?…" The fear that was in Gil's voice was so true that again Sara felt her heart swell a little. This man that she hadn't even known for a full twenty-four hours cared so much for her, when people she'd known for years wouldn't have even batted an eyelash.

"Gil, I'm fine, really. I was a little pissed off, and perhaps I am a little hungrier than I was, but honestly I am fine. But your concern means a lot." Sara spoke, interrupting him, as they reached the table and Gil pulled out her chair. "And thank you." She looked directly into his eye as he finished pushing in her chair and she grabbed his hand.

"Thank you?" He all but whispered.

"For defending me, for helping me, for knowing that I was uncomfortable and doing something about it. I'm sorry, it just, it meant a lot. To me." Gil noted how her voice wavered and her eyes focused on her lap as she spoke. Another thing causing him to add a mental note about the bigger picture that is this fascinating woman.

"No woman deserves that type of disrespect and harassment Sara. No one. When a woman says 'no' to a man, even if it is just in regards to a drink, he needs to respect that and move on."

"You're a good man, Gil Grissom. Any woman would be lucky to have you."

**PRESENT TIME**

"Do you still believe that Sara?" Gil asked quietly, after a few moments of silent reflection, his fingers gently tracing shapes into the flesh of her arm.

"That you're a good man?" Sara's voice was equally as soft, and slightly muzzled from Gil's shirt, her face nestled deep into it, but he could still hear her.

"Well, that and that any woman…"

"Would be lucky to have you?" She finished.

"Yeah…"

"Of course I do."

He was severely tempted to push the issue and ask if that included her, but he wanted to keep the ball in her court, so to speak, to give her the time she needed to make a decision. And if this little stroll down Memory Lane helped her to do that, than he was happy to help her.

"God Sara, had I known then what I know now. All night long I had told myself that there was something more to this captivating woman, some hidden pain. I could see it in your eyes several times, the longing, had I known…"

"Please, Gil, don't. Don't go there." Her voice was so small, like that of a begging child, it broke his heart.

"Sara…" He could barely get her name out before she had jumped up, the comfortable, laughing, at ease Sara gone, to be replaced with the hardened shell that he caused.

"No! Okay, just don't! It wouldn't have changed anything! It wouldn't have! You still would have left! You still would have left me there, all by myself, to deal with it all, to figure out how to live without you, with a broken heart, with not knowing what I did wrong to make you leave! With knowing that you loved me, but just not enough! I would have gone with you! I would have done anything for you! I didn't care about my job or that stupid city! I cared about you damn it! YOU! I loved YOU! And you left me! You left me there to slowly die…" By the end of her seething, tears were cascading down her cheeks and she had crumbled to the floor, her shouts becoming whimpers and her words becoming sobs. "What did I do wrong? What did I do to make you stop loving me?"

Gil pulled her to him, his own mind in shock that she had finally said everything that she had been hiding for so long, but he couldn't run now, as much as her words hurt. It was time they were told, and he needed to hear them.

"God, Sara, what I have I done to you?" Gil whispered into her hair as he held her shaking body tight to his own. "What have I done?"

**A/N: So I think this might be the end of the "first date fiasco" flashbacks, but I know a lot of y'all wanted to hear (read) more about their breakup, so let me know if you'd like it to be via flashback or just them talking about it, cause I'm still not sure myself which way I'd like to go. **


	30. Wasn't Good Enough

A/N: So this is kind of short, but I needed to get this out before the next chapter, otherwise the next one would just be too long

**A/N: Sorry it took so long again. I broke and dislocated my thumb trying to move my daughters crib. Those things are a lot heavier than they look. Typing hasn't been the easiest, but here's what I got…I hope you like it. Thanks for all the reviews last chapter, and for sort of answering my question about how to do the breakup – it pretty much came down to everyone saying the same thing – "either way is good" – so let me know how you like this.**

**Also, again, thanks to Emilicious Mae for reading this for me at God only knows what time to tell me what she thought. You rock Dommy. I love you.**

**Chapter Thirty: Wasn't Good Enough**

"God, Sara, what have I done to you?" Gil whispered into her hair as he held her shaking body tight to his own. "What have I done?"

Sara was a pile in his arms, no strength, just tears and exhaustion. It seemed like hours that they sat there, huddled together, both too lost within themselves to really reflect on the fact that they were sitting on the floor.

Grissom didn't know what to do, how to explain himself, how to assure her that he wasn't going to leave her again. At least with her admission, he now understood her reluctance to jump right into a commitment with him. He had never realized how much his leaving San Francisco had hurt her.

If he were honest with himself, he never let himself think too much about it.

He had been so consumed with his own grief of leaving her all those years ago that he never truly allowed himself to dwell on how she must have felt. He always assumed that she'd move on quickly, find somebody else, someone younger, someone that could be there for her in the way she deserved, and that he would be just a mere memory, a fling, a passing thought on a summer day.

He never in a million years would have thought she'd stay single, waiting, hoping that someday, somehow, they could be together again.

Not that he was one to talk, because, after all, he did the same thing. He just never expected _her_ to.

**SEPTEMBER 1998**

"Gil! Welcome back! It's so good to see you." Catherine spoke eagerly, giving him a hug as Grissom reentered the Las Vegas Crime Lab for the first time since that May.

"It's good to see you too Cath. Really." She noticed first how much he seemed to have aged since she last saw him, and how his voice took on a distant, almost somber effect.

"So…how was your trip? It must've been good, you took an extra few months." She tried to get him to say something, anything, that would give her some insight into why he appeared so upset.

"It was fine. I had some really great students…" And then she noticed how his eyes looked down and he swallowed hard at the word 'students.'

"Gil? You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks Cath. I'll see you at assignments." He said hurriedly as he began to walk off toward his office.

Catherine was almost positive that she heard him say something as he walked, something that sounded a lot like,

"I just left my heart in San Francisco."

After his return, Grissom closed in on himself, not really talking to anyone, no jokes or witty little retorts, no team breakfasts, and above all, no dates. He lived, ate, slept work. That was it. Work had become his life. Everyone around him knew not to mention anything, especially about San Francisco or his trip. They learned that the hard way when Catherine tried pushing the issue and he freaked out, throwing a coffee mug across the break room.

The team was losing him, and they knew it. They wanted to do something, but what could they do when they didn't know what the problem was?

They wouldn't know, wouldn't figure it out and wouldn't have him fully back until two years later when a rookie CSI would be shot and killed and a certain brunette from San Francisco would be called to investigate, and then asked to stay.

**PRESENT TIME**

Time passed slowly before Sara finally disentangled herself from Grissom and stood, scaring Grissom into a mess of thoughts of what came next. Before he could get too out of hand with his thoughts, she spoke, breaking the eerie silence that seemed to have encased them both.

"I uh, I'm sorry…that I yelled at you. That wasn't fair…" She wasn't really looking _at_ him as she was more looking _past_ him.

"No, Sara, I…" Grissom interrupted, intending to tell her that he fully deserved what she said and more.

"Please…I just, I need to get this out." At his silent nod, she took a deep breath and turned around, putting her back to him, finding it easier to say what she needed if she weren't looking at his reaction. "I am sorry I yelled at you. But I don't regret what I said. It needed to be said. _I _needed for you to hear it. I've spent so many years trying to forget, trying to pretend that your leaving didn't affect me, but in reality I only buried it all far enough out of reach." She began to move, or pace, running her fingers down the spines of books on one shelf, or closely examining a picture or artifact.

Grissom had removed himself from the floor to sit on the sofa, afraid that if he stood, something she said would not have a great effect on his equilibrium.

**SEPTEMBER 1998**

"Hey Gil, I picked up…" Sara stopped as she walked into her bedroom, the bedroom they had shared for the last five months. There she found a suitcase on the bed, packed neatly and ready to go, and her live-in boyfriend sitting next to it on the bed, his hands clasped and hanging between his knees, and his head bent, as if looking for the words he needed to say on floor. "…pizza."

Sara wasn't a stupid person, she knew what this was, she just never thought it would happen.

"You're leaving." She said it not as a question, but as a statement, trying to keep her emotions locked up in a tight little box, sealed with the most super of super glues, duct tape, a Master lock, and an electronic key pad with a pass code that she already forgot.

"Yeah. I uh, I'm going back to Vegas." He wouldn't look in her eyes, not that she would have noticed, because she wouldn't look into his either.

"So all of this…" she motioned between the two of them, tears at bay in her eyes, trying very hard to contain them. "…all of this, it was what? I was what? Just some cheap summer fling to you?" Her control was slipping and she knew this would have to end quickly before she fell apart. Before she let him see her fall apart.

"God, no. This was more, so much more. But this, my leaving, it has to be how this goes. I am so sorry Sara. I really wish the best for you." His words were genuine, but still, they hurt even more. Had he said that it meant nothing, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

_You are the best for me..._

"Just go." She had turned to her dresser, bracing her suddenly very weak body on its hard, polished wood, staring down at her whitened knuckles, and watching helplessly as a single tear fell onto her left hand.

"Sara…" Grissom stepped forward, tentatively, and Sara could see slightly as his reflection came into view within the mirror above the dresser. As he placed his hand on her however, she shrugged him off and moved away.

"I said, go. You want to leave, just leave. There's no point in prolonging it. I'm not going to try and force you to stay when you're obviously not happy. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy, but I hope that you are in Vegas." And with that, she walked to the bathroom and shut the door, finally releasing her tears in big, fat droplets accompanied by body shaking sobs.

It was several minutes before she finally heard him leave, the faint sound of the door closing in his wake.

Taking one look at her reflection in the vanity mirror broke her to the core, knowing that it would never look the way it did when he was with her. Immediately her hand shot out to punch it away, shattering the glass and shredding her fist.

In the following months, Sara threw herself even more into her work, far exceeding the overtime limits and constantly pushing departmental policy aside to be the final word for the victims. She loved her job, and knew that it was the only thing that she could love that she knew wouldn't leave.

Flings came and went. A few nameless men from a bar she couldn't remember would make her forget, for a short time, how depressed she had become, how much she missed him. Once, she even had a boyfriend, for about a month, when she said Gil's name in the throws of passion, and well, that ended that relationship faster than she could even remember his actual name. It was Jeff. She made sure to remember it _after_.

**PRESENT TIME**

Sara had paused, remembering, and trying to form coherant words to tell him what she needed. Finally she was able to string the words together as he sat there, watching her every move, every gesture. He just sat there, stock still, listening, absorbing, analyzing her words. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he _needed_ to say, but he knew that this was her time, her one chance to say all that she needed to, and he wasn't going to take that away.

"The truth is Grissom, that when we were together in San Francisco, it uh, it was the happiest time of my life. It was the first and only time I had ever felt safe, felt loved. You were it for me. The one. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anyone and it killed me, it ate away at my life, my heart, everything when you left. There was no real goodbye, or reason. It was just 'I'm going back to Vegas' and an already packed suitcase, and that was that. You were gone and all that was left was the memory of your eyes that have pierced through my mind since and the sheer reminder that I couldn't have you. That it wasn't good enough."

As Sara spoke her last sentence she turned back around to look straight into his eyes, and the pain that he found in hers broke his heart.

"That _I_ wasn't good enough." A lone tear fell down her cheek as she stared into his eyes, showing her true self to him, taking down the barriers, the walls, and leaving herself exposed. Several moments of unadulterated silence passed before Sara bowed her head and walked away, making her way toward the front door.

It didn't take long for Grissom to snap into action, and he jumped from the sofa to run after her.

"Sara! Wait, please!" She stopped, but didn't turn around, forcing him to speak to her back. "Don't go. Please don't leave."

"Why?" Her voice was so soft, and sad, and pleading, he moved forward, placing a hand on her arm.

"Because I'm afraid that if I let you walk out that door, you'll never come back and that will mean I really have lost you." A tear was falling down his face to match hers as he spoke. Her body was trembling beneath his hand, but he wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not.

"I just, I need some time…I need to figure out what this all means." She spoke to him, but still wouldn't turn and face him.

He understood, and after how long she waited for him, he would force himself to wait for her. Slowly he removed his hand from her shoulder, letting her go. She nodded silently and continued to the door.

"Hey Sara?" His voice got her to stop again, just as her hand reached for the knob. This time however, she raised her head to look at him with her red-rimmed, sad eyes. "I just don't want you to leave here still thinking that."

"Thinking what?" She asked confused, her voice almost impossible to hear.

"That you weren't good enough. Because the fact of the matter is Sara that you were, that you _are_ too good." And with that, Grissom smiled a sad, solemn smile and walked away, leaving her to her internal debate.

Sara stood there for what seemed hours, questioning herself, whether her leaving was the right thing, or if she was just running away again. Coming to no real conclusion, she left, closing the door behind her in search of some answers, and possibly some help in finding them.

**A/N: As always, your reviews are fantastically insightful and much loved. **


	31. Broken Hearted Airlines

**A/N: Okay, so I know that it has been forever. Life got severely in the way. But this one is pretty long. Not a lot of Grissom and Sara together, but some insight into Sara. Please, as always, let me know what you think. I'm going to start wrapping up the story. It seems to have taken on a life of it's own…**

**Anyway on to the show…or story…**

**Chapter Thirty-One: Broken Hearted Airlines**

As he passed her in the corridor, he ducked his head, and mumbled a quick hello, barely audible to someone who wouldn't have been listening for it. But she was listening, and she had heard it. Sighing, she went on her way. This was how things had been for the last three weeks, ever since the night that Sara had walked out of Grissom's front door in search of answers, and had yet to go back.

And she had yet to find any real answers.

She wanted him. Her heart did. Her heart wanted to be with him more than it wanted to continue beating. It was her brain that was the problem. She was afraid of being hurt again, of another barely there goodbye with no explanation. Of giving him her heart only to have him break it again. Her brain was being cautious. She asked for time, and she still needed it.

For his part, Grissom was being very respectful of her wishes. As hard as it was he kept his distance, barely spoke to her, for fear of what damage it would cause. What she didn't know however was how when he was home, he would pick up the phone, dial, only to forcefully pull the phone line from the wall and curse himself for even trying. Or how he would drive past her apartment, just to feel close to her. Sometimes even getting as far as parking the car and reaching for the handle, at which point he would punch the steering wheel and throw the car into gear and drive home.

At work, it was pure professionalism other than the wave of tension underlying the surface, that just about everyone could feel. When in a room together, they forced themselves to opposite sides. They wouldn't talk to each other unless absolutely necessary and when one did speak, they wouldn't look at the other, instead busying themselves with papers or twiddling their hands.

Greg had at first thought that they had gotten things worked out and that the tension was more from them hiding their new bliss, that was until he saw for himself them exchange a hello in the hallway, both refusing to look at the other until they were walking away. But what he noticed most was the look of utter despair on Grissom's face and the look of guilt and sadness on Sara's. Now, for over two weeks he had kept his peace, not sure if he should get involved or wait for them to come to him, but by the looks of things they weren't going to come to him willingly, so he made the decision to take action.

After seeing the most recent of hallway exchanges between the two, and seeing Sara trying very hard to keep from running after Grissom and keep herself from crying, he approached her.

"Hey gorgeous." Falling into step with her, he linked his arm through hers.

"Hey Greggo." He could see the small smile that crossed her lips, but he was sure that it was more for show than it was genuine.

"What are you doing after shift?" Hell, small talk would just bore them both, might as well get to the point.

"Uh…"

"Oh please, I know you'll just be going home to wallow in sadness while eating Rocky Road and watching lifetime movies…" He teased her, to which he actually got a laugh…and an elbow to the ribs, but hey, the laugh was worth the pain. "…So…how about you invite this strikingly handsome, well mannered, lifetime movie lover over to your place to join you…and maybe…" he paused to lean into her ear, whispering conspiratorially to her, "…just maybe he'll buy you that ice cream and if you're lucky…a veggie pizza…"

"Mmm…tempting." She answered sarcastically, not all together thrilled at the idea of doing anything other than curling in on herself and going to sleep. After all, the pain was less when she was asleep.

"Oh come on Sar…you know you want to cuddle up with me and watch sappy movies about crazy chicks plotting murder." He prodded. Somehow she knew that he wasn't going to let her out of this.

"Fine. _But_ you owe me pizza and ice cream. And I get to pick the movie. Last time you picked the movie was so far fetched we ended up changing the channel and watching Friends for three hours straight." She put on a hard face and stared him down, pointing her finger into his chest, before she couldn't hold it together any longer and smiled.

"The woman drives a hard bargain, but it is a price I will pay…" Greg spoke, dramatically. As he stepped back, he started to sing 'Listen to Your Heart' by DHT, softly so that only she could hear, in a voice that anyone would pay to stop.

"I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah. You built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of Heaven turns to dark." With a smile, he continued backing away, only singing louder, much, much louder and in a tone no man should ever try to use while dancing not-so-rhythmically and jumping up and down. "Listen to your heart, when he's calling for youuuuuuuuuuu. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can dooooooooo. I don't know where you're goingggggggggg, and I don't know whyyyyyyyyy, but listen to your heart, beeeeefooooooore you tell him gooooooodbyeeeeeeeeeee."

As the last of his little mantra sounded away, Greg disappeared around a corner, leaving Sara standing, laughing at his antics in the middle of the hall, along with most of the lab that had popped their heads out to see what was happening. Several people were clapping, that slow, 'I feel bad for him' pity clap, to which she joined in. As much as she didn't want to, she couldn't help her laughter, Greg always had that effect on her. Perhaps him coming over for a bit would be good for her. But, his song choice didn't escape her either. She knew he was conveying a message. One she wasn't sure she wanted to hear at the moment.

"What was that all about?" The voice came from behind her, sending a chill down her spine and causing her to visibly stiffen.

_Surely he's not talking to me. He must be asking someone else in the hall. Okay, there's no one left in the hall. Damn people being used to Greg…sure, just go on back to work and leave me here! Since when do people actually want to work? Why couldn't you all just doddle for a few more damn minutes! Okay Sara, it's no big deal. After all, you do work together, he is your boss and he's just inquiring about a public show given to you by Greg. So what if it's the first thing he has willingly said to you in three weeks…just turn around and answer his damn question._

With a loud gulp, she spun around and with an awkward, forced smile, answered.

"Oh you know, just Greg being Greg. I think he's trying to be the next American Idol reject." She let out a really pathetic attempt at a laugh, before looking down at her feet.

"Oh, yeah…that uh, that sounds like Greg." He replied with an equally nervous laugh.

"Yeah."

Together they stood there, both nervously shuffling their feet and looking anywhere but at each other for several moments until Grissom spoke.

"Sara, I just wanted to say that…"

"Hey Sara, you're results are back." Jacqui called from the doorway of her lab, effectively cutting Grissom off and giving Sara the retreat she was so desperately searching for.

"Okay, thanks." Sara called back, backing up slowly towards the lab and away from Grissom. "Uh, I should go get those. You know, another day, another crime, another suspect…" She looked into his eyes and gave him a sad, wistful smile as she reached the glass door.

"Yeah. I uh, should get this paperwork done anyways. I guess we'll just talk later." The sadness and hope in his voice was practically the death of her. She had to swallow hard just to keep her emotions in check.

"Uh, yeah…" Swallow. "…later. I'll uh, see you when I see you Griss." And with that she walked into the lab ready to hide herself from the world and become the stoic Sara Sidle, CSI extraordinaire.

Grissom stood there for a minute before speaking to the empty hallway.

"Welcome to Broken Hearted Airlines. Thank you for crashing and burning with us tonight."

* * *

"So my darling chickadee, what are we watching?" Greg asked as he and Sara cuddled up together on top of her bed with a throw blanket after she had selected a movie.

He always did find it strange that Sara, the woman who banked pretty much all her money and had plenty of it from all of her overtime, lived in a studio apartment about the size of his bedroom. After their first impromptu movie night, they had learned that her small sofa worked much better as a decorative piece than it did for two grown people to lay on comfortably. So, after Sara made Greg take an oath on no roaming hands, they had both agreed that the bed would be better.

"Murder in the Hamptons. I just got it on DVD last week, haven't had a chance to watch it yet."

"Oooo. Sounds interesting. Fill me in, what's it about?" He asked as she laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. To anyone else they would seem intimate, but they both knew that they were just close friends.

"Okay let's see…" She paused, grabbing the DVD case before reading to him the caption on the back. "A gripping, true crime tale based on a true story. The wedding of artist Generosa Rand (Poppy Montgomery)…oh I love her in Without a Trace…"

"Focus…"

"Right, sorry. Uh, the wedding of artist Generosa Rand to millionaire business man Ted Ammon (David Sutcliffe) seemed like a Cinderella Story come to life to their neighbors in the Hamptons. The newlyweds even adopted a little boy and girl. But trouble was brewing in paradise, and what was once an idyllic union degenerated into jealousy, open hostility and resentment between them – leading to a contentious divorce to divide the sizable Ammon fortune. But when Ted Ammon is found bludgeoned to death in his own home – the police question – could Generosa convinced her contractor boyfriend Danny Pelosi (Shawn Christian) – who installed the alarm system, to commit murder? Ultimately, Generosa meets an unexpected fate, and Danny Pelosi is convicted of Second Degree Murder in the death of Ted Ammon."

"Well jeez, give the whole story away…"

"Oh hush and start the movie."

"Yes dear."

"Did you call in the pizza?"

"Yes, it's on the way."

"Good, I'm starving."

"I would think you would be." When she turned an inquisitive expression toward him, he shrugged and replied. "You look like you haven't eaten in weeks."

"Don't go there Greg." She warned sternly, avoiding eye contact. She knew that eventually they would talk about it, but she wasn't ready yet.

"Just making an observation." He turned his worried tone to one of light banter as he held up his hands in surrender.

"You make observations about crime scenes, not my weight, got it?" She chided, jokingly as she poked her finger again into his chest.

"Yes dear." He laughed, before once again going sober and barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry Sara, I'm just worried." Lightly, he kissed the top of her head that was again resting on his chest. Nothing romantic, just sibling-like love and protection.

"There's nothing to worry about." She lied. He could tell by the way she tightened her hold on him.

"You know you're a horrible liar right?" Once again joking, to lighten the mood and make her a bit more comfortable.

"You know I'm going to beat you with this pillow right?" She had pulled one of the pillows from the top of the bed and gotten up onto her knees holding it in his view with a smirk on her face.

"Go for it Sidle. Keep in mind, there's two pillows." He challenged quickly, pulling out the other pillow and mirroring her position, raising an eyebrow to her.

Before he could stop it, her pillow had launched itself, albeit with a little help from Sara, directly at Greg's face, catching him completely off guard. Due to his vulnerable position on the edge of the bed on his knees, the force effectively pushed him right off the bed to topple onto the floor with an audible 'oomph.'

"Oh. My. God. Are you okay?" She tried sounding truly worried and sorry, but her laughter sort of hindered the effect.

"Munachy." Came his mumbled reply, his face planted into the floor.

"What?!" She scrambled to the edge of the bed, laying stomach down across it to lean over and see him. She laughed more as she saw him try to turn his body in the cramped space beside the bed.

"I said…just peachy." He smiled. She laughed more. Then she grabbed the pillow and threw it at him again.

"You're mean! Hitting a man while he's down." He grumbled as he removed himself from the not-so-comfortable floor to kneel beside the bed, watching Sara, laying on her back on the bed, bursting out in laughter.

"Your…just…mad…'cause…you…got…beat…beat by…a…a girl!" She managed to gasp out between her giggles.

"Oh that's it! You're going down!" Greg yelled, grabbing the pillow and climbing on top of her, straddling her legs to keep her from getting away as he 'gently' beat her up with the pillow.

"Ahhhh!" Sara screamed, trying to push Greg off of her, all the while still laughing, along with Greg, to the point that both of their ribs hurt.

Just as Greg grabbed one of her wrists to pin it down so she couldn't steal his pillow, Sara's door flung open, startling them both, and shocking the one at the door. Grissom. It was several moments of silence, and staring between the three before Sara realized what position she and Greg were in. Him straddling her, her wrist pinned, the blankets in disarray…yeah, this wasn't good. Pushing Greg off of her, she jumped up and ran after him, but it was too late, he had bolted to his car as fast as he could.

"Damn it!" Sara yelled as she watched him pull away.

As she turned back to her apartment, Greg was standing at the counter, a look of pure guilt and unease on his face. He watched helplessly as Sara paced her small kitchen for a moment before she punched her fist into the wall.

"SON OF A BITCH!!" She cried out in pain as Greg rushed over to her.

"Sara!" Her hand was stuck in the wall, the dark purple color of the wall, he imagined, would match nicely to what her hand must now look like.

"It hurts. It hurts." She cried as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to pull her hand out.

"Don't. Sara, stop. Let me help you." Waiting for her to stop pulling and wiggling her hand, he finally took action, peeling away some of the plaster to make some room. "What the hell were you thinking Sara? You could have hit an electrical wire and killed yourself." When she made no reply, he continued with his ministrations in removing her hand, while she kept her eyes shut tightly in pain. "You want to talk about it now?" He said in a slightly teasing manner. The most he got in reply was her opening her eyes to glare at him. "Well, the way I see it is, you're kind of stuck here, not gong anywhere for at least a few more minutes, so might as well say something. Perhaps tell me why it is that you just slammed your hand through a wall. I mean, I could guess, but you know, indulge me."

"I thought the wall was lonely. Needed a friend. So I gave it one, okay?" She snapped.

He understood that the pain in her hand and in her heart were the reasons that she was upset, and that the stem of it was Grissom, so he tried not to take it too personally that she was snapping at him.

"So…I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you didn't take that leap?" He asked, careful to not look at her, trying to keep the conversation with as little pressure on her as possible as he maneuvered her hand a little and removed some more of the plaster.

"No. I just got so confused and didn't know what to do…so I ran." She admitted, a feeling of shame washing over her.

"It's natural Sara. You've been hurt before, that much I've gathered from our cryptic conversations. You're afraid."

"When I saw him that night, I was so nervous. I told him that I was confused, that I wanted this thing between us, but that I was afraid. And he understood. I think, anyways. He apologized, told me that he never meant to hurt me. And then we talked. For hours, we just talked, reliving our first date…the nightmare that it was." Sara let out a little laugh again at the memory, causing Greg to cock and eyebrow at her in question. "A long story for another time." She explained and he nodded.

"So if everything was going so well, why is your hand currently lodged in a wall and you both have barely said two words to each other in weeks?" Another piece of the plaster was moved and finally he could see her hand inside the wall. He was right about the color. Except for the crimson red that plagued it as well.

Sara hissed a bit as he turned her hand, trying to figure out the best way to pull it out without injuring her further.

"I don't know. One second we're laying on the couch, laughing, joking, and just enjoying being with each other. It felt right. It felt like what it used to. _I_ felt what I used to. It's like all those feelings came rushing back, you know?"

"I think that maybe the feeling that comes back is the feeling that never truly went away to begin with." Slowly he pulled her hand out of the wall, bruised, cut and bleeding. "Ah, there. Now let's get this cleaned up and assess the damage. First Aid kit?" He instructed her as he held her hand up and led her to the kitchen sink to clean out the cuts.

"I don't think it's broken, but definitely bruised. And it's in that cabinet." Sara insisted as she pointed out the first aid kit.

"Well, you should get it looked at to be sure." He spoke as he pulled out the kit and the necessary supplies. "Some of these cuts are pretty deep Sar."

"I'll be fine."

"Sara."

"Okay, fine. If the bleeding doesn't stop in a few hours we'll go. Deal?"

"Alright. Let's put some ice on it." Leaving her at the sink, he went to her freezer and got an icepack, wrapping it in a paper towel before applying it to her hand.

"So, can I ask you something?" Greg asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"Well that didn't sound to appealing, but as you did just save my hand from a wall, I suppose so." Together they walked back over to the bed, each taking a seat.

"You were together…back then…before Vegas?"

"Yeah, we were." She answered, almost sadly.

"And you were happy right?"

"I thought so. I thought we both were."

"You thought?"

"Well he left didn't he? Obviously he wasn't as happy as he seemed."

"But he loved you?"

"I don't know. He said he did. And I made the biggest mistake in believing him."

"You don't really think that, do you?"

"I don't know. I mean, I believed him then, and I ended up with my heart shattered. And I want to believe him now, but I don't know…I mean, I used to believe true love existed, but when you've had your heart torn out and thrown on the floor, it's just not so easy anymore. He was my everything Greg. Everything. And when he left I realized the mistake in that. When you make someone your everything, when the leave, you have nothing left."

"But you're still here Sara. It been how long? You, to a degree, were able to move on."

"Moving on is simple. It's what you leave behind that's hard. Greg, I never thought that I would find someone that would literally take my breath away. Or that could make me smile with just a look. When I fell for him, I fell harder than I ever thought possible. I thought it was that forever kind of love, and it just hurt that much more when he left."

"So then why did you come here? To Vegas I mean."

"I don't know. I guess after two years of pretending I was over him, I realized that I wasn't. When he called, he sounded so lost, so desperate. How could I not come? No matter how much he hurt me, I still loved him, I always will. And he needed me."

Before Greg could respond, there was a knock at the door. Sara tensed and her eyes went wide, until Greg squeezed her shoulder supportively and stood up.

"We ordered pizza remember?"

"Oh, yeah." She laughed at herself as he went to the door. Sure enough, it was the delivery guy.

As Greg went to pay for the pizza, Sara turned off the movie and examined her hand. It did look pretty nasty. And despite what she told Greg, she was pretty sure it was broken.

_I can only imagine what Gil will say when he sees it. Never mind, after seeing Greg and I like…that…I'll be lucky if he even says hello to me._

"One pizza with everything healthy on it…and extra grease." Greg announced, bringing the box over to where Sara sat on the bed.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled as she practically leapt for the pizza box.

"Woah, down Kujo!"

"Oh hush and feed me!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Gregory…"

"Sorry…Yes darling."

"Thank you."

"You are one scary woman."

"Bite me Greg."

"Mmm…tempting…"

"Don't go there."

"Yes dear."

"Thank you."

"So can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Haha. Very funny Sara."

"I try. So what's your question?"

"I was just wondering, if Grissom hurt you so much, why did you stick around? Why wait for him all these years?"

Sara took a few moments to think, before putting her pizza down, wiping her mouth with a napkin and with a somber smile, answered.

"Because as hard as it is to wait around for something that you know may never be, it's even harder to give up. Especially when it's all you've ever wanted."

Greg nodded solemnly, in understanding, before picking up his pizza slice…and picking off all the vegetables.

"How can you eat this stuff?" He teased, while pulling off the olives, broccoli, onions and peppers.

"They're veggies Greg, not toxic waste." She answered with a giggle as she picked up his discarded toppings and put them on top of her slice.

"Might as well be…" Sara laughed and threw a pillow at him.

"Have you ever had your heart broken Greg? Like legit, crying yourself to sleep, mind-numbing pain, broken?" Sara asked after several minutes of silence. A look of mourning washed over Greg's face - a look of which Sara had never seen on him before. It almost made her regret her question.

"Yeah, once."

"I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"No it's okay. It's only fair. You spill your heart out to me, I spill mine to you, right?"

"Yeah, I guess that seems fair." She smiled and took another bite of pizza before speaking. "So who was she?"

"Emily Salls. She was my college girlfriend. I met her my first semester sophomore year. She was a Biology major, genetics, a year behind me…God, she was amazing. Smart, beautiful, funny. The works. We met, and it was like time stood still, you know? We were great together, or so I thought, for three years. God, I loved her. I planned on popping the question the night of graduation. I had gotten the ring and everything. I still have it. Could never bring myself to get rid of the thing."

"So what happened? I mean, everything sounds like it was going good. You were together for three years…on the verge of marriage. That's a big commitment for it to all just fall apart."

"Well the morning before we crossed the stage, I went to her place to surprise her with breakfast. I had gone out with my folks for a celebratory dinner the night before, and had planned on staying with them until Showtime, but they told me to go have fun with my friends and Em and that they would just see me there. So there I was, and I opened the door to find her sweating up the sheets with my room mate and best friend Andrew."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, now they're married and have a couple rugrats running around."

"Double ouch."

"Seriously."

"One of whom is coincidently named Gregory."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. Andrew's dad's name is Gregory too. But none the less, that sucked…a lot."

"Understandably. So, what'd you do when you found them?"

"Quite frankly, nothing."

"_Nothing_?!" She shrieked disbelievingly.

"Yup. Well, I mean, I dropped eggs all over her floor, and listened to the Counting Crows CD so much that I had to buy a new one it was so scratched up, but otherwise nothing."

"The Counting Crows, Greg? Good god."

"Yeah tell me about it. Completely ruined graduation for me. I went to the parties, only to get severely drunk and try to pretend that life didn't completely suck…"

"Been there. Done that."

"Yeah. It was hard, for a long time. Still is sometimes." Sara nodded. She had a question she wanted to ask, but was hesitant. Whether it be because she was afraid of the answer or because she was afraid that his answer would be one she'd already heard. Taking a deep breath, she finally outed the question.

"Why didn't you do anything? She was the woman you loved."

"That's exactly why I did nothing Sara. I loved her. Still do in many ways. All I ever wanted for her was to be happy. And if that meant her being with Andrew, or anyone else for that matter, than it was a sacrifice I was willing to make."

"Just like that?"

"Well yeah. I mean it hurt. It hurt like hell, but yeah. Just like that. I didn't want her to be with me, only to have her resent me in the end. I would rather her be happy and me be miserable."

"So how'd you get through it? The you being miserable part."

"Papa Olaf."

"Your grandfather?"

"Yup. Some wise words and Olaf wisdom…set me on my way to find the _real_ love of my life."

"Oh yeah? And who's that?"

"Well you of course!"

"Keep dreaming there Greggo."

"You've always been with me in my dreams."

"Oh shut up."

"You said I could dream."

"Gregory Hojem Sanders!"

"Eek. My mother doesn't even pull that card!"

"Well maybe she should. It's quite effective in shutting you up."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." They both smiled before continuing in on the pizza. "Drink?"

"Coke please." Sara requested, albeit around her mouthful of pizza.

"You know, you're quite the master of etiquette there Sar."

"Greg…Don't make me use the middle name."

"I got it, I got it." He said with his hands up in surrender as he walked to the kitchen. Grabbing two sodas from the fridge, he made his way back to Sara.

"So Greg, if you don't mind me asking, what was Papa Olaf's words of wisdom? I think I could use a few insightful words."

"Well, it started with everyone telling how I needed to get back out there, to date, something about fish and there be plenty of them…a reference I didn't understand until much later. So I went to Papa Olaf and told him basically the same thing you're telling me – that I was afraid to be hurt again in a relationship. He sat me down and said 'Gregory, it's completely impossible to find someone who won't ever hurt you. You just have to decide who's worth the pain."

"Someone who's worth the pain, huh?"

"Yup. So…is he?"


	32. Explanations

A/N: Not too much to say

**A/N: Not too much to say. I'm working with my good friend Emily to finish up this story. Endings are hard, but we have, what we both think, are some good ideas to close it up. I'm not sure how many chapters it will take, but I'm thinking more than one, less than five. If that helps at all. So another big THANK YOU to Emily. I love her. A whole lot. She is the silver lining to my cloud.**

**This chapter is all Grissom and Sara. Another long-ish one. As always feel free to let me know what you think.**

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Explanations**

Shift for Grissom had dragged on after his short-lived conversation with Sara in the hall. He wanted to talk to her, to reassure her that he wasn't upset with her, that he understood her reasons and to make sure that she knew he would wait for as long as she needed. But she had left, cutting off his words. She had been busy the rest of her shift and he hadn't been able to see her again. So, against his better judgment, he had gone to her apartment, just to tell her that and leave her be. He didn't want her to think he was mad at her because he had been avoiding her.

So taking quite some time making his way to her door, he finally reached it. He only stood there for a few moments before he heard her scream. All he heard was her scream. It never occurred to him that it was because of a pillow fight between two friends – too many years wrapped around death, he later supposed. So, he rammed the door with his shoulder, slamming it out with a loud bang, only to come across his worst nightmare. Sara, in bed, with Greg. Okay, so they weren't _in bed_ they were _on the bed_, but Greg was on top of her and pinning her wrist down…what other conclusion was he to make? He didn't even let her say a word, he ran, like a bat out of hell to his car and drove home. Far exceeding the state mandated speed limits.

Once home, Grissom had picked up his bottle of scotch several times, before finally pouring it down the kitchen drain to avoid temptation.

_It was her decision, you have to accept that. If Greg makes her happy than that's all that matters. Doesn't make it suck any less though.

* * *

_

After their conversation, and leaving Sara with the ultimate question of whether or not the pain was worth the pleasure, Greg had left, promising that their next movie night, they'd actually watch the movie and he would try not to get her caught in compromising situations by the man she was in love with.

Sara had cleaned up, put the remaining pizza in the fridge and rewrapped her hand with gauze several times before grabbing her jacket, cell phone and keys and heading out the door.

She didn't even let herself think as she walked up the path to his door, stopping short as the hard wood was within reach.

_Do it. You need to do this._

With a heavy hand, she reached up and knocked on the wood, perhaps harder and louder than she had intended…and waited. What felt like forever had only been a few minutes, but much longer than she was comfortable with.

"Sara? What…what are you doing here?" It broke her heart to hear the absolute confusion and despair in his voice. He had changed since breaking down her door. Wearing a pair of jeans and a Berkley sweatshirt that she remembered from when they were together in San Francisco.

"I, um, I came to talk. To explain rather…what you saw…or thought you…" She spoke nervously, still standing on his doorstep.

"You don't have to explain anything Sara. It's your life." He cut her off, almost harshly, but still in a calm tone. "I wasn't lying when I said I would support you in whatever decision you make."

"Gil, please…You have it all wrong. Just hear me out, okay? And then I'll leave, I promise."

They both couldn't help but notice how Gil had told her something very similar not too long ago.

Gil nodded silently and stepped aside, letting her pass him into the house. She stood there for a minute, just inside the door, unable to help the feeling that she wasn't welcome there, like she had been in the past.

"Can I get you something? A drink…anything…" Gil asked as he stepped up to her and motioned to the sofa.

"Uh, no, but thank you." They both sat, albeit on opposite ends of the piece of furniture, Sara sitting to Grissom's left, busying herself with looking around, noticing nothing had changed, and Gil, with clenching and unclenching his hands.

"So, you said you wanted to talk." Gil prompted, the silence far to unnerving for him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm not sleeping with Greg." She said rather bluntly.

_Quick, concise and to the point. Way to go Sara._

"I never said you were."

"It's just that, well, today…when you…uh…came in…what you saw…with me…and Greg…it could be construed…you know…to look like something that it wasn't. Which it wasn't."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Sara repeated, slowly, unsure if she had just heard that…surely there was something more to it than that.

"Yeah. I heard you scream and I got scared, so I forced open your door and saw Greg on top of you…on your bed…and I assumed something that I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Okay."

They both sat there for a while, just thinking and both too uncomfortable to move or say anything.

"It was just a pillow fight." Sara finally said, breaking the silence.

"Excuse me?" Gil asked, stunned by both the comment and the fact that she had spoken.

"What you saw…it was a pillow fight." She shrugged, not sure what else to say.

"You don't have to explain this to…"

"Yes I do. Please." She begged, and wordlessly he relented, letting her have her peace. "You heard me scream. What you didn't hear was me laughing at the same time. Today at the lab, Greg noticed that I was upset."

"You were upset?" Grissom asked, slightly shocked.

_I didn't notice. Preoccupied, sure. But not upset._

"Yeah Gil, I was. I asked for time. Not for you to avoid me like the plague. So yeah, I was upset. Greg noticed, wanted to cheer me up. He asked if we could have a movie 'night.' We do it all the time Griss. It's just that, a movie…pizza. We were on the bed because of how uncomfortable my sofa is. He just wanted to be a shoulder for me to cry on, to help me figure out what was going on, and to help me make that decision. We had been teasing each other, so I threw a pillow at him, and I ended up knocking him off the bed, and thus the pillow fight ensued. It got out of hand, and to keep me from being able to grab another pillow to fight back, he pinned me down. I screamed, you…uh, broke down my door…and here we are." She paused in her explanation and looked at him. "It was completely innocent Gil."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just run out like that." He paused and looked up, finding her looking back at him. It was the most eye contact they had had in weeks. "And I'm sorry about your door. I'll make sure it gets fixed."

"I'm not worried about the door Gil."

"Still, I don't want you having a broken door. This is Vegas, it's not safe."

"Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"Enough about the door."

"Sorry." He nodded and looked down, for the first time noticing the white gauze bandages around her seemingly very swollen hand. "Sara, what happened!?" He pleaded, jumping up from where he was to move in front of her, lifting her hand and apologizing when she winced in pain.

"Uh, it's nothing." She hopelessly avoided, trying to pull her hand back.

"That is not nothing Sara. What happened? You didn't have this today."

"If I had, would you have even of noticed?" His eyes, full or guilt and regret shot up to hers and he released her hand. "Gil, I'm sorry that was uncalled for."

"No, you had every right to say it Sara." Slowly he rose from the floor in front of her, to sit directly beside her. "Sara, the reason I came to your apartment today was to apologize to you."

"Apologize? For what?"

"For being an ass. You had every right to ask for time. I guess I just assumed when you came over that night that you had come to a decision already. Sometimes I see things in black and white, when I should be seeing the grey." He shrugged before continuing. "But then you said you needed some time and it threw me for a loop. I was afraid to be near you, or to talk to you. I didn't want you to feel pressured or forced into loving me. I thought that I was doing the right thing."

"I appreciate you giving me my space Gil. I do. But I didn't want for you to disappear from my life in the process."

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."

"I never want you to leave me alone Gil. If I wanted silence, I'd whisper. If I wanted loneliness, I'd leave. And if I didn't love you, you would know."

Grissom's face once again bolted up to read the expression on hers. It was unreadable, but he was sure she had just inadvertently claimed that she still loved him, and well, that was a plus.

"I made a mistake Sara, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We've both made mistakes in this, far more than I think either of us are willing to admit, but hey, that's life. We're the author's of our lives Gil. Unfortunately, we're writing in pen, so we can't erase our mistakes, but, we can learn from them." She smiled a little and bumped his shoulder with her own.

"That's a very wise thing to say Miss. Sidle."

"It's something I remember my mother telling me as a little girl. I never really understood what she meant until after…you know…"

"I'm glad you told me." Grissom began, turning to look at her again. "About your past…your parents. I'm glad you felt that you could trust me with that."

"I am too." She smiled, genuinely, before looking back down to her hands.

"Can I ask you a question?" Grissom asked moments later, after both had fallen into silence once more.

"Not you too." Sara grumbled, remembering her conversation with Greg that had contained the same question.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I'm just wondering why people do that."

"Do what?"

"Ask someone if they can ask them a question, when just asking them that question is asking a question to begin with." She rambled on. "Why not just ask your original question and save from having to then ask two questions?"

"Uh…"

"Never mind. What was your question? Uh…the second one…" She laughed at herself, before turning to him, noticing how nervous he seemed.

"Well, since I ruined your movie night with Greg, I was wondering if, maybe, you would like to, I don't know, stay here, and watch one with me. No pressure or anything. Just two friends watching a movie together. I could…"

"Gil, stop." Sara pleaded, trying to end his babbling.

"Stop?" He asked, terrified that he had crossed the line again.

"I'd love to stay."

"Really?" He tried not to sound as hopeful as he was, but failed miserably in doing so.

"Really." She reassured, placing her hand over his own, which was resting on his knee. "But just to be clear, I still need some time Gil. This doesn't change that."

"I know. I want you to take all the time that you need." She looked at him with a cross between appreciation of his offer and fear that time will change his mind. Slowly, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere Sara. I promise." He whispered, bringing her more comfort to her than he could ever realize.

"Thank you." She nodded and whispered against his chest.

After a brief minute of silence, just holding each other close on the couch, Sara removed herself from his arms, and they searched for a movie. Finally settling on the newly released 'National Treasure' which Gil explained he had just gotten the week before. Once back on the sofa, both had without a second thought, settled into each other's arms again, Sara resting her wounded hand on Grissom's chest. As the previews for new movies came across the screen, Gil took the opportunity to re-ask about her hand.

"So…you carefully evaded answering before. What happened to your hand?"

"I told you, it was nothing." She tried to sound upbeat and convincing, but well, he could read her like a book when he wanted to.

"And I told you that it wasn't." He teased. "Sara, please. If we're going to be friends at least, we need to be able to tell each other things. Please, tell me."

Sara nodded, knowing that if things were going to work in any sense between them they would have to be honest with each other.

"I think I broke it."

"What?! How?" Gil just about yelled, jumping up and reclaiming her hand, starting to remove the bandages.

"Well, let's just say that my hand and the inside of my kitchen wall became close friends."

"What? Sara! Why would you do that? You could have seriously hurt yourself! Nicked an artery or hit an electrical wire. Jesus Sara! What were you thinking?!"

Grissom scolded her, much like Greg had…and she knew that it was only the beginning. Although, unlike Greg, she wasn't finding it annoying at all. She was actually touched by it. Perhaps it was because she already knew Greg loved her, cared for her, and knowing that Grissom actually got scared when it came to her, it made her think that he did too.

"Do you really want the answer to that Gil?" She asked with a lopsided smile and a teasing tone.

"Yes Sara, I want to know why you would do something like this." He asked as he finished pulling off the last of the bandages – the very blood soaked bandages.

_Well that explains why there were so many. She was trying to hide the bleeding._

"Gil…you came into my apartment to find me quite literally in bed with another man. Then you left. I tried chasing after you, but I was too late. I was angry. At myself. The pain that I saw in your eyes in those few seconds was the worst thing I have ever seen. I was worked up, and short of punching Greg, the wall just seemed like a good choice." Choosing not to answer to her confession, he instead examined her hand. "Ouch!" She yelped when he tried to bend her fingers.

"Yup, it's definitely broken. And these cuts need stitches Sara." Standing up, he continued. "Stay here. I'm going to go get my first aid kit, and then you're going to the hospital."

"What? Grissom, no. No hospitals." She begged as he walked away, down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Sara, you're hand is broken and those cuts need sutures. You need to go to the hospital." Grissom called back from his place rummaging through a cabinet as Sara watched him over the railing behind the couch.

"No, Grissom. I am not going to the hospital. I'll see Al. He can fix me up." She insisted, almost desperately as Grissom came back up the stairs to sit beside her, kit in hand.

"Honey, you need to go to the hospital. You need x-rays and a doctor who works on live people." He joked as he began cleaning up and re-bandaging her hand. The swelling had her hand currently the same size, if not bigger, than his own hand. It was a nasty shade of purple and gashes covered the top surface and her knuckles, with blood still freely flowing from the wounds.

"Gil, please." Her voice was so small and innocent that he stopped what he was doing to look at her. Her eyes were begging him.

"Sara, why don't you want to go to the hospital?" He asked, before a sudden realization hit him.

"_The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't."_

"Sara, you don't need to be afraid." He tried to assure her, but if he was honest with himself, he wasn't quite sure how. There was a reason he was still single, worked the night shift and preferred dead bodies.

"Go with me." She blurted out, catching him off guard.

"What?"

"Go with me, to the hospital. Please. If you go, I'll go." She repeated, trying to sound calm and nonchalant. It didn't work.

"I won't leave your side unless you want me to."

"Promise?"

"Forever."

"Wait, what about the movie?" Sara asked, still stalling.

"We'll watch when we get back." Grissom said simply.

"Get back?"

"From the hospital."

"You want me to come back _here_?"

"Well, yeah. Um, that is if you want to I mean. Of course. It's just that your door is still broken and well, I thought that maybe you could stay here until it's fixed. I have a guest room if you're worried about that. This is strictly a friend worried about a friend after having broken down her door."

"I, um...yeah…sure. Okay."

"Really? Cause I could get you a hotel room if you'd prefer."

"Gil, no. I'll stay here. We'll just have to swing by my apartment after the hospital so I can pick up some things."

"Sounds like a plan." He smiled as he helped her up from the sofa, turned off the television and grabbed the jacket that she had discarded, helping her on with it.

"Thanks."

"Ready?"

"No." He laughed and shook his head as he pushed her out the door.

"Okay, so here we go." He laughed again as she turned and tried to go back in the house.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"Just a little."


	33. Safety

A/N: Okay, so this is kind of just a filler chapter to get to the next one

**A/N: Okay, so this is kind of just a filler chapter to get to the next one. But I still felt I had to write it. Happy Independence Day to everyone! We set off fireworks in our backyard and scared the baby…not fun. Not fun at all. But she's okay now, and she was fine with watching them through the window. I guess she just didn't like the sound.**

**Question: Has anyone else noticed that Spike TV has been playing next to no CSI lately? It's making me really sad. Yes, I have all the DVD's, but it's just not the same.**

**Anyway, the story…thank you again to Emily for the title and her nonstop support with this and several other of my WIP's. It's crazy how she'll let me bounce ideas off of her at ridiculous hours day or night, without complaint…maybe even a little excitement.**

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Safety**

"You know Gil, I really do think that I'll be fine. We should just go. No use in wasting the poor doctor's time." Sara urged from her spot on an ER exam table. Her legs were wildly swinging, occasionally kicking Grissom, who was standing in front of her, holding her good hand with his right and using his left to caress her right shoulder.

"No can do Sara." He said calmly. It had been like this since they had left the house. She had tried every excuse in the book to try and get him to let her leave.

"Come on! Please?" She was whining now, and he couldn't help the smile that came to his face because of it. "Come on, I'll do all of your paperwork for a month!"

_Well, when nothing else works, resort to bribery!_

"Sara, honey, in case you hadn't noticed, you're right handed. And your right hand is the reason we're here. So how, exactly, are you planning on doing all of my paperwork?"

_Damn that man was too smart for his own good._

With a loud huff, Sara slumped back on the table in defeat. With Grissom there, she wasn't getting out of this.

"Miss. Sidle?" A man asked, pulling the curtain aside as he walked into the small area.

"Yes, that's me." Sara responded, sitting back up, and squeezing Grissom's hand like she was in labor as he moved to her side.

_Don't yell, don't yell. She's trying to stay strong…Ow!_

"Sara, honey, unless you want us walking out of here with matching casts, I suggest you ease up a bit on your vice grip." He whispered to her, to which she blushed and eased her grip.

"Sorry." Was all she said as they turned back to the doctor who was reading through her chart briefly.

"Hi there, I'm Dr. Marshall. How about we take a look at that hand, shall we?" The doctor asked, not waiting for an answer he started peeling off the bandages Grissom had applied.

Sara winced and squeezed Grissom's hand in pain, biting her bottom lip to keep from yelling.

"You're hurting her!" Grissom growled, trying to stay calm as he hugged Sara close to him in an attempt to ease her pain.

"I'm sorry, but this hand is pretty beaten up here." The doctor explained, trying not to sound as annoyed as he was by Grissom's outburst. "Now Sara, tell me if this hurts at all…" He requested as he began touching her flesh and bending her fingers.

"Son of a…!" Sara screamed in pain as he tried bending her fingers, tears now streaming down her face.

"Can't you see that she's in pain!? How about you fix it instead of just making her feel worse!" Grissom yelled at the doctor, pulling Sara's hand away from the man in the white coat.

"Sir, I need for you to calm down. If you want me to help her, you're going to have to let me do my job." Dr. Marshall stated, irritably, now wondering what the cause of Sara's injury was. This man definitely had a temper. "Sara can you tell me what happened?"

"I punched a wall." She said through deep breaths.

The doctor nodded, but didn't quite believe her. He saw these cases all the time. Abused woman, over-protective remorseful significant other and a story ready and rehearsed for when the good doctor asks. The amount of cases he saw in a week was astounding. This one was no different and there was nothing he saw to show anything else.

Sara eyed him. She knew what he was thinking. After all, that was what she would have thought too, if she were in his shoes. She had been through the routine enough times as a kid and into her CSI life that she knew the queues.

"Must've been some wall."

"Apparently." She sighed, holding tightly to Grissom as Dr. Marshall continued in his visible exam.

"Alright, well, first of all, let's get some stitches in those cuts. And then we're going to send you on down for some x-rays, so we know exactly what we're dealing with. But judging by the swelling and the stiffness, I'd say we're dealing with some fractures. No bones poking through though, so that's good."

"Can we just get this done and over with?" Sara asked tensely.

"Got a date or something?" The doctor teased, trying to judge both hers and Grissom's reactions.

"I just don't like hospitals." She answered defensively, as Grissom glared at the man and clenched his free fist.

"I guess it's a good thing you're not a doctor then, huh?"

"Yeah something like that." Sara replied vaguely, with a fake smile.

"So how come you don't like hospitals?" The doctor asked, trying to both distract her from the stitches he was preparing to put into her hand, and also gain some more information from her.

"Just spent too much time in them, I guess." She answered distantly as she turned her face into Grissom's chest as the doctor began closing up her wounds.

"It's okay honey, I'm here." Grissom whispered soothingly as he rubbed her back.

The rest of the procedure went by with little discussion aside from Dr. Marshall's play-by-play of what he was doing. Finally, Sara's hand was cleaned, stitched, medicated with ointment, wrapped in gauze and ready for x-rays. After the doctor had cleaned up the mess from his handiwork, a nurse had appeared wearing pink scrubs and a smile.

"Dr. Marshall? Radiology is ready for you." She announced, stepping into the room.

"Okay." He replied to the nurse before turning back to Grissom and Sara. "Just give me one minute." He requested, as he ushered Valerie from the room.

"Sir?" The young nurse asked, sensing something was up.

"Valerie, I'd like you to bring Miss. Sidle to radiology. I'm going to ask that her 'friend' stay here. I suspect abuse."

"Oh dear." Valerie sighed, hating this aspect of her job. "I'll talk with her, Doctor. See what I can do."

"Thank you, Valerie." Together the two moved back into the small curtained room, where Dr. Marshall regarded Sara.

"Alright, Miss. Sidle, Valerie here is going to take you on down to radiology now. And when you're done there and we know which bones are affected, you'll be brought back here and an orthopedic specialist will be in to splint or cast it. It'll be up to his discretion as to which method of immobilization and how long it'll be needed."

Sara nodded, and stood, with Grissom as they began to approach Valerie.

"Uh, Mr…?" He paused as he stopped Grissom.

"Grissom."

"Well, Mr. Grissom, unfortunately only the patient is allowed back, so I'm going to have to ask you to either wait here or in the waiting room for Miss. Sidle."

"What?! No!" Sara almost yelled, latching on to Grissom harder than he thought was possible.

"I'm sorry Miss. Sidle but…" The doctor tried to speak but only got cut off by Sara.

"He's going with me!" She declared, in a 'I'm not taking no for an answer' sort of way before turning to Grissom with pleading eyes. The eyes he imagined her to have had when she was just a little girl, pleading only with them for someone to help her. Her help never came then, he sure as hell was going to make sure she got it now.

"I'm sorry, but hospital protocol…" He tried again…

"I am NOT leaving her side! Do you hear me?! I don't fucking care what the hell your hospital protocol says! I am NOT leaving her alone!" Grissom yelled, pulling Sara tightly to him.

Sara, after getting over Grissom's sudden vulgar language and protectiveness, realized what was happening by the fearful, yet sympathetic, look in the doctor's eyes after Grissom was done yelling.

"Sir, if you…" By now, he was getting used to not finishing his sentences.

"Look, Dr. Marshall, I appreciate your concern, I do. But I've been reading you like a book since you came in here. The reason you want me to go alone is because you're hoping that your nurse here will talk me into pressing charges against Gil here for abusing me, right? Or to leave him, to explain to me that you can help me, that you can give me the number for other people that can help me, the warnings of how the next time I won't be so lucky. And she can't do that with him standing right there right?" Sara asked, severely on edge, leaving all three other occupants of the room speechless.

_They think I beat her? Where did that come from? I would never touch her! How did Sara know that's what they think?_

"Look, I'll save you the trouble. Gil doesn't hurt me. He never has, he never will. I really did punch my hand through a wall. I was pissed and the wall was there. It seemed like the natural choice." She smiled and shrugged before continuing. "I didn't want to go to the hospital, but Gil made me. I don't like them. They scare me. Gil has been here keeping me calm. He makes me feel safe."

Again, no noise was made. Sara sighed.

_I make her feel safe? Well, that's big. At least I know that she knows I would never hurt her like that. Ever._

"Dr. Marshall, I really do appreciate you looking out for me and I know you're just doing your job, I do, but you have nothing to worry about. Gil would never hurt me like that." She smiled, holding onto Grissom's hand once more.

"You're sure?" Dr. Marshall asked, still skeptical.

"I am. But I can't even begin to express to you how much it means that you went to the trouble to be sure that I was safe. It's good to know that time does change some things." She smiled, a true, genuine, thankful smile.

The doctor nodded silently, there was obviously something he was missing, but he suspected that something from her past was related to it.

"Take care Miss. Sidle. Mr. Grissom. And I'm sorry to have implied…" Once again he was cut off, this time by Grissom, extending his hand to him.

"Don't be. Sara's right. It's good to know that there are people out there looking out for women in those situations these days. Thank you. For looking out for Sara." The doctor shook Grissom's hand and stepped out of the room, still not entirely sure what had just happened.

"Well…I guess I can take you _both_ back now." Valerie spoke, a little uneasy.

"Well then, let's go! I've got a movie waiting for me." Sara happily complied as she practically dragged Grissom from the room towards the radiology department.


	34. Omnia Vincit Amor

Chapter Thirty-Four: Omnia Vincit Amor

**A/N: So, the title of this chapter and it's use in the story is all thanks to Emily. She really is wonderful in my times of writing need…and any other need really. She's a great friend.**

**The baby is seven months old in a couple days and it is throwing me for a loop. She's already talking, knowing five words, how to high five, shake her head 'no' and just recently say "Hi Mama" her first 'sentence.' Who said she could grow up this fast? I don't like it! She needs to be my little baby forever!!**

**Okay, back to the story. This is the second to last chapter. Almost done!! I'm sad to see it ending, but fairly happy with the way it's ending, and I'm happy to be able to finish up some other stories of mine and start some new ones. **

**Chapter Thirty-Four: ****Omnia Vincit Amor**

"I can't believe you got a black cast." Grissom laughed in the car, on the way back to his townhouse from the hospital, after having stopped briefly at Sara's apartment so she could pick up some things.

True enough, when presented with well over fifteen color selections for her hard plaster cast, Sara had chosen black. Not that Grissom was surprised, but still he had been hoping that she'd go for hot pink or something.

"Well, I wasn't going to get some Brittany Spears pop star wanna-be pink, if that's what you were thinking." She remarked sarcastically, before noticing that he had a sheepish grin on his face. "Oh my God. You thought I would get a pink cast?!"

"Well, no. But it would have been really cute. So anti-Sara that it would be the talk of the town for weeks." He stole a quick glance at her face, full of smiles, as he rounded a corner.

_God do I miss seeing that smile every day._

"Exactly. I really don't think I want the entire lab discussing me. This thing…" She held up her plaster covered hand. "…is going to draw enough questions as it is that I'm not looking forward to answering. No need to add the addition attention."

"Fair enough. But, I still think it would have been cute." He smiled, that little boy scout smile and she melted. "Besides. Now how are we going to sign it?" He mock-pouted. Although, if he were honest, he had been anxious to the idea of being able to sign the plaster cast. But, by the look on her face, he cringed and thought,

_What are we twelve again?_

"Uh, you're not." She sounded horrified to his ears. He couldn't hold back the smile. "You're serious?! Grissom! Who does that past high school?!"

_Well, at least she's laughing about it._

"I don't know. I just thought that it would be fun. And then when you get the cast removed, you can save it and always remember it."

"Remember that I punched my hand through a wall because you walked in on me in bed with Greg?" She chided. And then outright laughed as his face paled.

"You're right. Don't keep the cast."

"Pull in here." She instructed as they approached a CVS Pharmacy.

"I thought they filled your prescription at the hospital." He commented as he pulled into an open spot by the main entrance.

"They did." She answered simply, jumping out of the vehicle and walking into the store.

Shaking his head, realizing that no matter what he tried he would never fully understand Sara, or women in general, he got out and followed after her.

_Women! Sometimes I wonder if they even understand themselves._

"What are we getting here?" He asked as he finally caught up to her, walking her way towards the office supply section.

_Her legs are far too long to keep up with! Not that I don't mind the view._

"You'll see." She again, vaguely answered as she began taking inventory of the items on the shelves.

_Why do I even bother?!_

Before he could even acknowledge that she had grabbed something, she was off, heading towards the registers up front.

"What did you get?" He asked, again, only to have her hide the item from his view.

_Women are impossible. Men, well, we just keep setting ourselves up to fail._

"Hey, since we're still going to watch the movie…we are still watching the movie right?" She seemed suddenly very nervous as she shuffled her feet and pretended to be checking out a magazine rack.

"Yeah. I mean, if you want to." He answered just as nervously, but her sudden smile calmed them both.

"Yeah, I do. Well, I was thinking that while we're here, we could hit up the junk food section?"

_Sara and her sweet tooth. It's good to know that some things never change._

He smiled as he held his hand out, motioning her forth to the desired aisle. Watching, humorously as she loaded up a basket with Hershey bars, gummy bears, Oreos, sour cream & onion potato chips, M&M's, microwave popcorn, extra salty cashews, a pint of Ben & Jerry's and root beer.

"Uh…" He swallowed, then shook his head. What could one say to that.

"Don't say a word Gilbert Grissom. You broke down my door and I broke my hand. I'm entitled to a sugar high."

He simply held his hands up in surrender as he added a package of Twizzlers and a bag of gummy worms to the basket and taking it from her to hold.

"Gummy worms…why doesn't that surprise me?" She teased him with a light giggle.

"Well they don't have chocolate covered grasshoppers here and I left my stash of them in the fridge at work." He answered in complete seriousness.

She laughed even harder.

"What?!" He asked, not understanding her sudden mirth.

"Nothing. I just find you to be truly adorable."

_Shit, did I just say that?_

_Adorable? What did I do?_

"Well, thank you. I think." She laughed again. "Uh, was there anything else you needed…wanted?" He asked as they made their way back to the registers again.

"Uh, no. I think that should do it." She smiled as they waited in line. As soon as she turned to face the tabloid magazines again, he started trying to shuffle through the basket to see what she had gotten before.

Unfortunately for him, she turned around and noticed.

"You'll see in two minutes. Jeez. You're like a kid at Christmas." She laughed at him as he blushed while taking the basket from him and placing it on the checkout counter. "Either turn around or go wait in the car." She told him, not even looking at him, just knowing that he was trying to peer over her shoulder at her purchases.

Reluctantly he backed off, but handed her his credit card.

"What? No. Get lost."

"Come on Sara, like you said I broke down your door and effectively caused your broken hand. Let me pay." This brought the attention of the young cashier as she raised an eyebrow to Sara in concern.

"Nothing like that. Trust me." She assured the teen before turning back to Grissom and with a smile whispered to him. "Are you _trying_ to get yourself arrested for domestic abuse today?!" She laughed when all he did was smile and give her his credit card again. "Ugh, you're impossible."

Again no words, just a smile of satisfaction from Grissom.

Quickly paying the cashier and letting Grissom sign the slip, they left.

_Wait for it, wait for it…Five, four, three, two…and…_

"So what did you buy?!"

_Bingo._

Instead of answering, she just got in the car and closed the door, laughing at his open jaw. It was another few seconds before he narrowed his eyes at her teasingly and got in on the drivers side.

"Here." He heard just as he closed the car door. Looking over to see Sara holding a small package out for him. Taking it from her grasp, he smiled. "Metallic Silver Sharpie marker. It'll work on a black cast. Happy?" There really wasn't a need to ask that as she could see his eyes light up and back was his boyish smile.

_Kid on Christmas is an understatement._

"Very. But are you sure? I don't want to write on it if you don't want me to."

"Oh shut up and sign the damn thing." She grumbled holding out her cast for him.

Without pause, he ripped open the package containing the silver markers and removed the cap from one.

"No looking!" He chided playfully, making her sigh with a smile and turn her head to look out the window. It took a few minutes for him to write it, not entirely used to writing on plaster, with markers, or on a curved surface. But he did it, and gently put the cap back on. "Okay. Done."

As he handed the marker back to her, she tried to find where he signed, finally finding his unique scrawl right above her pulse point.

**_Omnia Vincit Amor_**

**_Gil_**

She could feel a tear spring to her eyes as she read his words. Not only the words and their meaning, but that he had wrote them where anyone could see and signed his name, Gil, not Grissom.

"Love conquers all." She whispered to herself, smiling. Turning slightly she looked at him, gave him a nod and smile, letting him know that she understood his words before settling into her seat and taking a deep breath. "Thank you."

He nodded and started the engine.

* * *

"Well Gil, I do believe that you owe me a movie." Sara informed him lightly as she threw herself onto his sofa.

The ride back from CVS was short, but quiet. Sara absentmindedly fingering the only scripture on her cast and Grissom subtly stealing glances at her.

"I believe I do. But only if you plan on handing over some of those M&M's." He negotiated as she dumped the bag of junk food onto his coffee table and he went to the TV to set up the movie once more, turning his back to her.

"You drive a hard bargain, but I suppose I'll manage." She giggled as she threw an M&M at the back of his head.

The look on his face as he slowly turned around was priceless. Shock. Definite shock. Raised eye brow and slowly…slowly that boyish grin appeared.

"You said you wanted an M&M!!" She laughed, falling backwards on the couch.

"I can't believe you!" He sputtered as she continued on with her hysterics. "You seriously just chucked a piece of candy at my head!" He was smiling so she knew he wasn't mad, but just to test the waters further she grabbed a gummy bear and threw it at him, not expecting him to open his mouth and catch it. "Yummy. Thank you."

He laughed as he picked up a Twizzler rope and came after her.

"Gil…Gil, what are you doing?" She smiled through her terror as he approached her slowly with the red candy. When he didn't answer and just gave her that evil little smirk, she jumped up from the couch and ran, with him right on her heals. "Gil!" She squealed as she bolted down the stairs only to feel the licorice whip her in the butt.

"So, couldn't help myself." He shrugged innocently as she openly gawked at him.

"You are unbelievable!" She joked as she began throwing more candy at him, sending their fight back up the stairs.

"Hey! You started it!" He hopelessly defended as he threw an Oreo at her.

"Oh you're going down Grissom!" She was laughing uncontrollably as the two danced around each other while in the middle of a food fight.

"Bring it on Sidle!" She laughed again as she heard those words come from Grissom's mouth. Really, who wouldn't laugh?

It lasted for about ten minutes as the two shamelessly battled each other, chucking all of their food at the other, ultimately all of it landing on the floor.

"Okay, okay! I give up! I'm out of ammo!" Sara surrendered, holding her arms up as she struggled to regain her breathing from having laughed so hard.

"Me too!" Grissom agreed, he, too, trying to regain his breathing. "Truce?"

"For now…" She complied, shaking his hand…albeit with her left, unwounded hand. Looking around at the floor and the couch she couldn't help but snort.

"What?" Grissom asked curiously as he tried to keep from commenting on how she snorts.

"Look around." Was all she said and shook her head as she took in what was once Grissom's clean living room.

"You just _had_ to get the junk food, didn't you?!" He asked in mock-seriousness.

"It's times like these you wish you had a dog…or a robot maid named Rosie." Together they stood there, just examining the room before Grissom turned an inquisitive brow to her.

"Rosie?"

"Yeah…you know, the Jetsons. She was the maid." At his complete look of confusion, her jaw dropped. "You _have_ seen the Jetsons, right?!" The look on his face told her his answer. "Oh dear. Gil, you are missing out on some serious cartoon comedy."

"The name sounds familiar, but I can't think of it." He shrugged, trying not to feel as stupid as he did. "What's it about?" He asked as he went down to the kitchen to receive the trashcan and a broom.

"Well, it's a cartoon set in the future. Well…at the time it was made, the future was what they predicted would be now." She called down to him as she began straightening up the living room.

"When was it made?" He asked as he returned to the room and placed down the trashcan.

"Uh, '63 I think." Then chuckled as she found half and Oreo, cream side down, stuck to the sofa.

"And you know this show how? You weren't even born yet."

"Oh please Gil. It's still on TV now. They play repeats all the time. And hey, you were born and you didn't even know it was on. Besides, after it was cancelled, it came back on the air with new episodes in '85 or so and if I remember right, they even had a few Jetsons movies. It seemed like it was all that was ever on in the various foster homes. I suppose with that many kids under one roof, it was the only thing everyone would agree on." He nodded in understanding as he started to sweep the floor.

"Alright so go on."

"Well, the whole show revolves around this guy, George Jetson. He works for a tyrant of a man Mr. Spacely at Spacely Space Sprockets. I always loved him. He was this short, fat bald man, always angry with the world."

"Ah, yes. I can see why you were so fond of him." Grissom teased as she laughed.

"He was just funny. In basically every episode, he would fire and rehire, or promote then demote George."

"Again, what a sweet man."

"Oh hush."

"Okay, so go on."

"Alright, well, George is married to Jane. She's like a major shopoholic and he's always handing over his money to her. She's like the house wife of the future. Then there's Judy, their daughter, who is the epitome of the typical teenage girl. Trying to impress all the kids at school. and Elroy the son. I always related most to him."

"You related to a cartoon boy from the future?" He asked humorously.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Yes I did. Elroy was the kid that stood out in the crowd. He was this genius kid, always creating a new invention. He actually made a time machine in one of the movies. The Jetsons meet the Flinstones."

"The Flinstones? I remember that one."

"Thank God for that."

"Wait, what about this Rosie?"

"Well, Rosie is a robot. She was rented by the Jetsons to be their maid. She's always making fun of George."

"Well, you're just going to have to show me this show if it's ever on again."

"It's on all the time. I actually have the first season on DVD."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah. Greg and I got into this debate one day over their dog Astro, so he bought me the first season and on our night off we watched the entire thing."

"You know, it just doesn't surprise me how you spend your time anymore." He teased as they finished up the living room.

"Yeah, well. I could say the same for you."

"Fair enough."

"Well, now that we have completely wasted our junk food, how about that movie?"

"Well, we still have the ice cream and root beer." Grissom shrugged giving her a wide smile as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Uh…" Sara tried to form any coherent sentence and failed miserably. The wiggling of his eyebrows and the look he was giving her, well it was sending some sparks to places she didn't want to think about.

_I thought that this was no pressure? Just friends…oh God…now what?_

"Root beer floats!" He exclaimed excitedly, as she released her breath.

_Oh. Root beer floats. Of course. What the hell did you think he was suggesting?! Idiot._

"Root beer floats. Right. Yes. That sounds fantastic." She answered, shaking her head at the absurdity of her prior thoughts.

"I'll make that if you want to do up a bag of popcorn."

"Sounds like a plan."

It took about ten minutes working in sync together in the kitchen, with Sara making popcorn and Grissom their floats, before they were ready for the movie. Sara had kept stealing bites of the ice cream and Grissom kept stopping the microwave in retaliation.

"Are we ready _now_?!" Grissom whined comically.

"Yes, now sit your butt down and give me that ice cream." She ordered, snapping her fingers and pointing to the sofa beside her.

"Yes dear."

Again Sara smiled at the endearment. She loved it.

"You know I love it when you call me that."

"Hmm?" Grissom had just sat down and had handed her the float when she spoke, not looking at him, but rather grabbing the remote to play the film.

"Dear. I love it when you call me that."

"Oh?" He wasn't entirely sure how to respond to her. It was chartering into dangerous territory.

"Yeah. Some might find it to be condescending or old fashioned, but I find it to be charming and just, uniquely you."

"Well, thank you but I found it to be uniquely you." Together they smiled as they sat back, impossibly close to each other, on the sofa, enjoying their treats.

Sara was the first to finish her float, not that Grissom was surprised, she practically inhaled the thing. Once Grissom had finished his, he had put both empty glasses on the coffee table, and leaned back into the sofa. It didn't take long for Sara to lean closer to him, or for him to life his arm and wrap it around her shoulder, holding her close.

The romantic tension between Ben and Abigail in the movie was putting both Grissom and Sara's senses of each other on full alert. Gradually throughout the movie, they had managed to lay down, Sara to the inside of the couch, laying slightly atop of Grissom with her head on his chest.

By the time that Abigail was introduced to Ben, Sara had begun lightly stroking Grissom's chest with her hand, and he started on her lower back, slightly raising the hem of her shirt to do so.

By the time the Declaration of Independence was stolen neither of the viewers were paying much attention, as both were far too aware of the feel of the other touching them. Sara had lowered her hand to the hem of his sweatshirt before slowly letting her hand slide beneath the fabric, to caress the flesh of his abdomen. Meanwhile Grissom had done the same, caressing her back beneath the fabric of her shirt.

And by the time Ben and Abigail's shared their first kiss, Sara was very hesitantly turning her head upwards to see Gil's face. He appeared to be watching the movie, but she could tell that he wasn't. He was trying to remain calm, to seem indifferent. It only took a few moments of staring at him, and intensifying her ministrations to his chest for him to turn his head to her.

_Gulp._

_Gulp._

"You okay?" He quietly asked, trying not to moan at the feelings she was evoking in him.

"Yeah." She whispered back, resting her chin on his chest and staring deep into his eyes.

"Don't like the movie?" He had to admit that as much as he loved the intimacy of the moment, he was getting a little confused as to why she was just laying there staring at him.

"It's okay. I like watching you better." She gave a lopsided smile and he just had to return it.

"Likewise."

"Hey Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." She barely whispered it, but he still heard it, just before she laid her head back down on his chest.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for." He was slightly alarmed now, but he wasn't sure exactly why.

"For not believing in you. For not believing in us." Slowly she turned her head back up to look into his eyes. "I should have, and I'm sorry." A single tear escaped her eye and fell on Grissom's chest, just before he wiped away the salty streak it left behind on her cheek.

He didn't have to say anything, she knew how he felt.

Never once taking her eyes off of his, she moved closer to him, each searching the others eyes for any sign of hesitation, before slowly closing the gap between them, their lips meeting in perfect harmony. The kiss was leisurely and lingering as their hands tenderly explored each other's bodies as if it were the first time. It was several minutes before they finally broke the kiss and Sara, breathlessly, rested her forehead against Grissom's.

"I've missed you." Despite her utter lack of oxygen at the moment, she found it in her to whisper that to him.

Somehow he understood what she meant. She was forgetting the past several months, forgetting the pain, the confusion and the tears, and in that moment they were just back to being them, happy together, again.

"I've missed you too." He whispered back, igniting another kiss, this time more powerful, more passionate.

The movie was long forgotten.

Together they moved to the bedroom, where for hours they made love to each other, consummating their re-found love. And in the morning neither had any regrets.


	35. Rules, Amended

A/N: So this is it

**A/N: So this is it. The End. I'm really sad to be saying farewell to this story. It is by far the longest story I have written to date. I had a great time writing this, I hope you all enjoyed it along with me. I couldn't have done it without all of you out there reading and reviewing on it, keeping me going. So thank you! If it weren't for you, it would probably would still be back at Chapter Five and stuck there for all eternity. As always, a big THANK YOU to Emily. She has been with me on this story for a while now and has provided me with so much support and advice. She is my muse. **

**After this, I will be finishing a MUCH shorter story that I have yet to post, and then from there I will be returning to 'Touch and Go' a WIP posted already, but has been that way for quite some time. So, if you're interested, please read that one and leave me a review with any suggestions you might have. I would greatly appreciate it, and love to see where you, the readers, would like to see the story go.**

**So about this chapter, the case that Sara and Grissom work is based on a true story out in Germany, the guy being Armin Meiwes. (I changed the names and slight details.) Really creepy, google him if you can stomach it, but I was reading about it, and despite it having nothing to do with the story, felt the need to include it. So if the story seems to drag on because of it, I apologize, but I thought it was weird and would fit nicely in Vegas.**

**Just a recap: THANK YOU! Goodbye Frustrations, it was fun while it lasted.**

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Rules, Amended.**

The following day, before their scheduled shift, Grissom and Sara laid snuggled up together in his bed, nothing on but a sheet to block the draft, each delighting in being truly together after so long having been apart.

They each still had their fears, and that was something that wasn't going to be resolved overnight, but they were trying it, and that's all that was important.

"I want to take this slow Gil." Sara whispered into his bare chest. "I have no regrets about last night. At all. And I meant everything I said, but if we're going to do this and do it right, we need to slow down."

"Sara, I want to be with you, not just your body, and if that means slowing down, I am perfectly fine with that." Gil promised her, knowing that he himself had been feeling very similar. "I would like to take you on a date."

"Haven't we had enough bad luck?" She grumbled as she snuggled closer to him, enjoying the feel of his body next to hers.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." He could feel her smile against his chest. It was a wonderful feeling. "We could start simple. I promise no flowers, therefore no vases, which means no water, so no accidents there. As for the car thing, well…we could walk? Hmm…we could go somewhere that doesn't serve alcohol, so no drunk guys will hit on you and then spill drinks on you. How about Chuck-E-Cheese? All the guys there would be under four feet tall and more attracted to the skee-ball machine than a woman in her thirties." The image in his head made him laugh. Luckily, Sara was already laughing at his idea.

"Alright Romeo. I'll let you take me on a date." She sighed dramatically as if it was the worst thing ever to go on a date with Gil Grissom, only to laugh when he spoke.

"Really?" The way he asked, she was sure that he really thought she wouldn't let him take her out.

"Only if you promise that wherever we go doesn't have some sweaty old man in a rat costume and a ball pen."

"Just a rat?"

"Gil…"

"Okay…no furry creatures of any kind. Check."

"Gil?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sara."

* * *

That night at work, everyone could sense that something had changed. The tension in the room had suddenly dissipated, Grissom and Sara didn't tense at the sight of each other and both just seemed…normal. Not overly happy, or giddy by any means, they were more professional than to act like that, but just…normal.

The team, minus Grissom, were all situated in the break room, as usual waiting for assignments. Catherine on the couch with a magazine, Nick and Warrick were playing a game of paper football across the table, every once in a while accidentally flicking it at Catherine, earning them a death glare and a few well chosen cusses. Sara was standing at the coffee machine waiting on a fresh pot, her back to the rest of the team, and Greg coming to stand with her after noticing the black cast she was trying to hide with her black turtleneck sweater.

"I see the hand wasn't 'fine.'" He mocked playfully, nudging her with his shoulder, his voice loud enough for her to hear, but soft enough so the others wouldn't.

She smiled, she couldn't help it, she was happy.

"No…fractured in 5 places and I needed twenty three stitches, but it's feeling a lot better now." She tried to sound like it was no big deal, which currently in her mind, was nothing to bother herself with…cause really, she had better things to think about.

You know, like the gorgeous man she awoke next to.

"Sara! I told you I would take you to the hospital!" Greg reprimanded until he noticed the smile on her face…subtle, but he saw it and after seeing her so glum for weeks, he knew something had happened. "But maybe someone else did?!" He prodded suggestively and wiggled his eyebrows as she shook her head and filled them both a coffee mug.

"Maybe."

"Something happened Sar. You're happy, and that doesn't just happen with you."

"Smile Greg, it's contagious." She added light heartedly as she watched his face. He wasn't smiling, more like in deep concentration trying to determine the best way to get her to spill.

Before Greg could inquire any further, Grissom walked in, slips in hand.

"Good evening everyone." He casually greeted, stealing a quick glance at Sara and giving a minute smile, nothing any one would notice, but enough for her to blush.

_Good God it's gorgeous whenever that boy smiles._

A jumble of hello's were returned as he shuffled through the slips and noticed Sara conveniently covering her grin with her coffee cup.

"Alright, we've got a busy night tonight. Nick, you've got yourself a B&E on Harrison Drive. Homeowners were out of the house, but the perp got away with quite a bit."

"Fun, fun. See y'all later." Nick said in dismissal as he left the room.

"Okay, Warrick, 419 in a bar. One drunk man yells at another drunk man, all the other drunk men get involved and now we've got one dead man and seven injured."

"Oh goodie. Bye guys." Warrick left, slip in hand and muttering something about how he hated the drunk tank.

"Catherine and Greg, you've got a rape. Sixteen year old female. She hasn't said anything since she was found in an alley off the Strip. She's at Desert Palms now with the parents. Greg, you go to the scene. Catherine you've got the vic."

"Never gets any easier. Come on Greg."

"If I don't see you, call me later." Greg whispered to Sara, who nodded before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Greg. For everything." She whispered back to him, making him smile brightly. His Sara was finally happy.

"Always." Came his reply as he shuffled from the room.

"So…Boss…what do you have for me?" The smile just would not remove itself from her face as she looked at him and handed him a cup of coffee.

Apparently it was contagious, because his wouldn't go away as he looked at her either.

"Thank you." He took a quick sip of the coffee, mentally noting that she made it just right. "Man found dead in Henderson. His body was found by the neighbor severely mutilated in his dining room." He spoke leisurely as he handed her the slip and smiled even more as she perked up with the chosen case.

"Weird. Always a bonus. Homicide?"

"Well my dear, that's for you to find out." He teased, catching the smile she gave at the endearment.

"You coming with?" She asked as she scanned the slip before grabbing her coffee and walking out of the break room with him.

"Not at the moment, no. I've got a meeting with Ecklie about office supplies or something equally mundane, but I'll be along after." He sighed with a roll of his eyes, Sara taking pity on him.

"Lucky me…not so lucky for you." He glared at her and all she could do was purse her lips to keep from laughing at him.

"Just hope that I don't stab him with said office supplies."

"And why would I hope that _don't_ do that? I'm thinking a nice, recently sharpened number two pencil to the jugular." The look he gave her was priceless, like a cross between the man that agreed fully with her and was severely tempted to do just that, and the supervisor that shouldn't be letting her get away with such a comment. "Good luck, I can honestly say that I don't have the same control that you do when it comes to that man…if you can even call him that." He shook his head and pursed his lips as well.

_She just keeps adding more reasons to love her._

"Be careful tonight. I'll see you as soon as possible."

"I will. Have fun with your office supply buddy!" She mocked him as they parted ways with one last loving look from her and a glare from him, him going towards Ecklie's office and her going towards her Denali.

* * *

It was a while before Grissom had been able to lose Ecklie and meet Sara at their scene, but he made it. Only to find that Sara had already done most of the work. The body had already been photographed and combed for any noticeable evidence. David had already come and gone, placing TOD around dinner time and taking the body with him back to the morgue. Samples of the blood had been swabbed and recorded, photographs taken, markers set. The dining room, living room and perimeter had already been processed.

_Damn, she really is good._

"Hey." He acknowledged, stepping carefully though the house, finally finding Sara in the kitchen, searching for anything probative to the case.

"Hey yourself. How'd your meeting go?" His face showed the answer and she gave him a sympathetic frown. "That bad, huh?"

"I was reaching for the pencil." She laughed. "I ended up using my cell phone from my pocket to page myself. Told him that my help was needed immediately on a scene."

"Clever. I've done that on a few bad dates." He looked up to her with narrowed eyes and she shrugged. "What? I've been on dates before." Refusing to even concede that with a reply, he continued on.

"It still took another fifteen minutes for him to shut so I could go."

"Sounds like Ecklie."

"Mmm. So, what have you got here?"

"Okay, well, hear me out here, cause this gets weirder than I thought."

"How so?"

"I think this man was eaten." His head spun around faster than she thought possible at her comment and he raised an eyebrow. "You missed the body, there were human teeth impressions all over it, chunks of muscle, flesh and appendages missing. David placed TOD at dinner time. I think this guy was someone's main entrée."

"'_Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork_?'" The quote rolled off his tongue as he opened up several drawers and cabinets. He was skeptical of her theory, but trusted her judgment as they continued searching the kitchen. It was only a few seconds later, he expecting her to cite his source, but instead heard her scream.

"What happened?!" he called, rushing over to her. Her hand was over her mouth as she looked into the kitchen sink.

"If a fork and knife is progress, what is garlic butter and a skillet?" Sara commented before turning around in attempt to control her gag reflux. She had seen many things in her years, but nothing like this.

Grissom peered into the sink, and was just as disgusted to find a used frying pan with what appeared to be fried severed fingers, only without the meat. Clear bite marks visible.

"This just went from weird to outright freaky."

Together they finished processing the scene, working in sync with each other, better now than ever before. It only took about an hour once Grissom got there to help complete the scene and after packing up the evidence, they were on route back to the lab. Logging the enormous amount of evidence seemed to be the longest part, but once that was done, sometime around 7:00am, they were able to start going through it all in the layout room at the start of a double shift.

"I called a guy, he's going to fix your door tomorrow." Grissom told Sara as they began examining the first shreds of evidence collected.

"Oh yeah?" Neither of them were looking at each other, each too nervous about what such a simple thing could mean.

_Please don't leave though._

_Does that mean you want me to leave?_

"Said he'll be by around two."

"Two?...that's the middle of the night for us." She commented with a smile.

"Sometimes even in Vegas people do things by day-dweller hours." Grissom joked.

Taking a quick look around to make sure there was no one around, Sara moved closer to Grissom and softly spoke.

"If it's okay with you, could I stay with you today? Until it's done?" She was nervous, he could tell.

"Of course. You're welcome to stay with me whenever you want Sara." The look he gave her, of pure love, gave her a full sense of security and the intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"Thanks."

For several hours, they worked side by side, bouncing ideas off one another, examining evidence, viewing autopsy reports, going through the victim's computer, finally concluding that their victim had in fact been cannibalized. It took some digging, but they found their killer with the help of Brass, and by their third shifts end they had a nice, signed and dated confession and a closed case. Locking up the last of the evidence and filing the paperwork was a quick process and then they were finally heading out the door.

"Well…that was…" Sara began, not sure how to finish her sentence.

"Interesting?" Grissom supplied and she nodded.

"That's one way of putting it." She still couldn't get the image of that man's body from her mind.

"Well, this is Vegas after all."

"What is it about the Vegas name that makes people do the strangest things?" She shook her head and cringed, recollecting the case. "I mean, suicide, I get that. People get depressed and feel that's the only way out. I don't agree with it, but I understand the thought behind it. But placing an ad online to have someone come fry you up in garlic and eat you? What the hell has this world come to?" She was completely disgusted.

"I agree that this was definitely one of the strangest cases I have encountered."

"I remember a few years back, that high school case I had. The girl had been eaten by her friends while on PCP. But that was because of drugs, this was just 'Hey, you! Hungry? Eat me.' I mean, a Little Debbie snack is a snack not a human leg." Sara cringed again and Grissom smiled at her response. Horrific cases they both were, but she was still being very cute about it. He loved the way her shoulders rose and shook slightly when she was visualizing it.

"Come on, I'll buy you breakfast." He suggested as they made their way to car lot.

"You can eat right now?" She asked, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

"What? I think I'm in the mood for human flesh ala mode." He replied sarcastically, making her laugh, shake her head and get in the car.

* * *

They weren't entirely surprised when the got to the diner to find the rest of the team already occupying a booth. Grissom wasn't happy about it, but he wasn't surprised. After all, this was Franks, and they all considered it to be like a second home.

"So much for that date." Sara whispered as they walked through the doors.

"Apparently. Come on, we wouldn't want them to think that we were here for any other reason than to see them." He replied back in a sardonic tone.

"Suck it up bucko." She teased as they walked to the table, Grissom practically dragging his heals.

"Hey guys." Sara announced as they reached the overly large booth.

"Hey! You guys made it. We left a message with Judy to tell you we were here." Catherine greeted.

"Uh, yeah…we got it, why else would we be here?" Grissom quickly covered, making Greg and Sara smile.

"Well, move your asses over and let the lady sit!" Sara ordered, watching as Warrick moved across to sit with Nick and Catherine on the other side of the booth to make room for her and Grissom next to Greg. "That's more like it!" She smiled, even more so when she realized that Grissom would have to sit next to her.

General conversation went about for about fifteen minutes, with orders placed, coffee served and finally food served. Sara had gone for simple fruit and toast, not sure if her stomach would handle anything heavier after their gruesome case.

"So, did I hear correctly? You guys had a real life cannibal?" Warrick asked, interest fully piqued.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I'm having enough trouble just keeping this fruit down after that." Sara grumbled making them all laugh.

"Oh come on Sar! We need to live vicariously through you. All of our cases were relatively routine. Nick's B&E was just their son, Warrick's bar fight was open and shut, everyone involved had been hospitalized and Greg and my rape case closed real fast when we lifted prints and collected semen from the Rape kit. The doer was in the system already. We picked him up eating a bowl of Fruit Loops and watching soap operas." Catherine explained, turning pleading eyes to the pair across from her.

"The victim, Jack Southwick, placed an ad online to be eaten. Even wrote it in his will that that was how he wanted to go out." Grissom commented, trying to save Sara from having to explain it all.

"Seriously? That's sick!" Nick swallowed hard and shivered at the thought.

"Tell me about it. Paid the perp, Kevin Wheeler ten grand to eat him. So he came to his house, cut him up, little by little, cauterizing the wounds as he went, and fried him up in some garlic right in front of the guy." Sara added on, now officially done with her breakfast.

"So he just ate the guy, right there in his house, in front of him?!" Catherine squirmed disbelievingly. At Grissom and Sara's nod she paled visibly and shook her head. "Now that's a level of creepy that I didn't even want to know existed."

"Try seeing it." Sara mumbled, causing everyone to give her sympathetic expressions and Grissom to squeeze her leg under the table. "Okay, can we change the subject please? I'd really love to forget this case." Forgetting about her hand, she had extended it out to grab her juice.

"Hey Sar, what happened to your hand?" Nick asked as he spotted the cast.

Looking to Greg, then to Grissom, Sara shook her head, tempted to slam it on the table but instead said,

"I think the cannibal talk was a better subject." Both men laughed knowingly while the other three just looked on very confused.

"She slipped in her kitchen and it went through the wall." Greg spoke up, trying to avoid her having to explain what actually happened.

Sara looked up with a very grateful expression to Greg.

"Ouch." Was the general response before Catherine felt the need to dig deeper, sensing by the looks the other three were sharing, that there was more to it.

"So how do they know?" Pointing out Greg and Grissom.

"Uhh…"

"Well, I was there." Greg immediately answered. "We were having a movie night." He added as they looked at him shocked, clearly questioning what he was doing in her apartment.

"What about you Grissom?"

"Uh…"

"He brought me to the hospital." Sara interjected, knowing he wasn't sure what to say. "I didn't want to go, so I told Greg that I was fine. But after he left it got worse, so I called Grissom to see if he could bring me." She lied her way through an explanation, but everyone seemed to buy it.

"Why does it not surprise me that you got a black cast?" Nick commented and Grissom coughed to cover his laugh, but not before Sara glared at him. "Am I missing something?"

"No, he just said the same thing after I got it.." She answered referring to Grissom.

"Well now how are we going to sign it?" Greg whined and again Grissom had to cough.

"What is with you people!" Sara sighed dramatically. "I'm thirty-three years old, not twelve! Why do you all want to sign a damn cast?" She sounded irate, but everyone could tell that she just thought that it was funny. When everyone just gave her sheepish grins, she sighed and pulled the metallic Sharpie from her purse to hand over to Greg first. "Here. Sign away to your little heart's content." She was careful to put the top of her hand up, hopeful to keep the others from seeing Grissom's remark.

Greg eagerly grabbed the marker and began drawing something on the hardened material. Finally finished he handed the marker back and she laughed.

"What's it say?" Catherine asked as everyone tried to see.

"Will you marry me? And our names in a heart." Sara remarked laughingly. Everyone just shook their heads at his antics, Grissom trying not to say anything as flashes of Greg on top of Sara, as innocent as it was, came to his mind. As if she knew what he was thinking, Sara slipped her free hand beneath the table, taking hold of his and squeezing it in a wordless declaration of her love for him.

"Okay, me next!" Nick urged, grabbing the marker.

After Nick wrote 'Love you! Try avoiding fights with walls, they usually win.' it was passed on to Warrick, who simply signed his name with a tiny heart below it and shrugged when questioned why there was no message.

"She's sitting write in front of me, anything I need to say to her, I can just say it." Sara smiled in his support, everyone else laughed at him. "Sara…I hope your hand heals well and soon. Oh, and I second Nicky here, walls are tough competitors."

"Okay me! Me! Me!" Catherine jumped up and down like a grade school student who knew the right spelling of astronomical.

"Hey, I think Cath wants a turn." Warrick teased the woman, earning himself a pretty scary death glare and a piece of Sara's discarded fruit thrown at him.

Sara handed the marker over to her and held her cast out, Grissom's message down, which Catherine had noticed from when the whole cast signing business had begun. Catching Sara off-guard talking with Greg, Catherine grabbed her hand and spun it over, revealing the message.

_It's a good thing I know some Latin._

She read the writing quickly before looking up and smiling at couple across the table, who were unaware of her attentions. Uncapping the marker she wrote a quick note and her name before recapping the marker and putting it on the table.

**_I know. Good for you. Love, Cath._**

Sara looked at it for a quick second before her eyes shot out of her head and she looked up in terror. Catherine merely smiled and winked at her, an expression that said,

"Your secret is safe with me."

Sara breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded to her in thanks before continuing on with the table's conversation and tightening her hold of Gil's hand momentarily.

* * *

It was over an hour later before Grissom and Sara finally returned to his townhouse, both exhausted.

"What a long day." She sighed as she threw her bag on the coffee table and jacket down on the arm of the sofa.

"Uh, days. Plural, and that it was." Grissom agreed as he put his jacket with hers.

Sitting down on the couch, he extended his arm out in invitation for Sara to join him. She eagerly complied, nestling in as close as she could get to him, letting his warmth wash away the stress of the past two days.

"You're sure you don't mind me staying here until the door is done?" Sara asked, still unsure.

"Positive. I quite like having you here." He took a deep breath of her hair before placing a kiss in it.

"Do you?" She still sounded confused about them, which he couldn't blame her for, but he wished there was a way to change it.

"I love having you here. Hell, I'd love it if you lived here."

_Oh shit._

_Huh? Did he just say what I think he said? I thought we were taking things slow._

_Did I just say that? Way to take things slow Gil._

"Uhh…" Was all she could come up with. She hadn't been expecting that. He could tell by the way her body stiffened.

"Sara…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Not that I didn't mean it, but I know you said you wanted to take this slow, and I am perfectly okay with that. I just completely screwed this up didn't I?" He was frantic and had her mind not been reeling, she would have found it to be really cute.

"Gil, it's okay. I get it. You didn't screw anything up. I promise. You just caught me a little off guard there." He nodded understandably, but a bit sadly. "Gil, believe when I say that a huge part of me is very tempted by the idea of living with you again. It is. But, I've only just started to figure things out between us. I mean, we haven't even really been on a date."

"Sara, really, I understand. I don't want to rush you, or this, at all. I want this. I want you. In whatever capacity that is." She nodded silently, and he suddenly wondered again, what it was that she wanted. "What do you want?" He whispered to her as she snuggled closer into his side, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

She was silent for a minute, thinking, and he was about to repeat the question thinking she hadn't heard him, but then she spoke, softy, but enough that he heard.

"I want…I want to be your favorite hello, and your hardest goodbye."

"You already are." He hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head. "You already are."

That night (day) they both fell asleep wrapped up tightly in each other's arms, after a twenty-minute discussion on whether it was appropriate for Sara to share Gil's bed given their decision to go slow. She wasn't sure, he insisted and promised to behave.

He won.

They slept.

She dreamed. Of them, of their life together, of being happy again.

When she awoke, refreshed, and with a smile on her face, she just lay there, watching him sleep, admiring his even breathing and the slight twitches his lip would make as he dreamt.

Leaning in slowly, she placed a light kiss to his temple and whispered in his ear.

"I love you Gil." With a final stroke of her fingers through his graying tendrils, she eased her way out of his embrace and the bed, having a plan in mind and wanting to go over to her apartment before shift.

Several hours later Grissom awoke with a smile, despite the sounding of his alarm, only for it to disappear when he reached out for Sara to find his bed empty and cold. Opening his eyes only confirmed such things. Sitting up he noticed the small piece of stationary atop of her pillow.

**Gil,**

**Had to stop at my apartment before work. See you there. I already set up your coffee machine, you just need to start it. I hope you slept well.**

**Love, Sara**

**P.S. Thanks for keeping me warm last night.**

Gil smiled. As much as he wanted to wake up with her, he found her note to be endearing. Despite the need to stay in bed where her scent still lingered, Gil rose and padded out of his bedroom.

Coming across the coffee machine, he noticed another note attached and grinned. Like an idiot.

**So, I figured since we had some set rules in the prior months, **

**we need some new ones.**

He swallowed hard, not sure where this was headed. He thought that they had decided to make this an actual relationship, not just a sexual arrangement. He could still remember the conversation that they had shared in the locker room so many months ago, when Sara had first begun there little sex-tango.

"_My offer is simple. Sex. That's it. Nothing more. Just no strings attached, purely platonic, mind blowing sex. We've been together before, granted a long time ago, but still we have, so it wouldn't be awkward in that sense. And if I do recall correctly, we were amazing together." She turned to his shocked expression and gave him a wistful smile at the memory and then continued with her suggestion. "We work the same hours so it would be convenient. We know which cases will be the ones to affect each other, so we'll be able to tell when the other needs a…uh…release." Dumbly Grissom nodded at her logic. Taking that as means to continue, Sara laid out the guidelines. _

"_I have a few simple rules. One: No one knows but us. Two: We don't discuss it at work. Three: We're free to see other people if the opportunity should arise." By the time she got to the rules she had finished dressing and had pulled out her hair brush. Grissom had yet to speak or move. He was still in a state of shock and bewilderment at her idea._

"_Oh and so as not to confuse this with a relationship, no dates. Meaning, no dinners, no movies, no cuddling on the sofa drinking coffee, no doing the crossword, no toothbrushes left behind, no shared breakfasts, absolutely nothing in public, no pet names, no leaving clothes behind, no discussion of our feelings, no discussion of our past, no late night, or in our case, day, phone calls. Oh, and no gifts." As she listed off the 'rules' on her fingers and racked her mind for anything she may have forgotten, Grissom had started to process and came out of his daze a bit. Now, as he watched her list off everything, he couldn't help but smile._

"_Is that all?" He said, his amusement getting the upper hand to his fears and insecurities of this 'arrangement.'_

"_Um…I think so." She answered absently, thinking hard to be sure. "Wait. And no repeats of today in the lab again."_

_Silently he nodded his understanding while she took up her seat on the bench again._

"_So…sex." He stated more than asked, trying to wrap his head around the idea._

"_Sex."_

"_No strings."_

"_None." Seeing that he wasn't quite sure, and wanting to save herself from further humiliation, she took a deep breath and stood. Coming to stand right before him she leant down and placed a chaste but lingering kiss to his lips, something she hadn't done in almost seven years, and with her hands lightly caressing his cheeks she breathlessly whispered to him._

"_Just think about it. You know where to find me." And with that, she left. Leaving him to his thoughts._

Taking a deep breath, the smile from before now completely gone to be replaced with worry, he plunged forth.

**Go make your standard scrambled eggs and toast. **

**Don't forget the orange juice.**

**-S**

**xoxo**

He looked at the note even more confused now, flipping it over a couple times to see what he was missing. Sure, he had been lost in reflecting on that moment, but he was fairly certain he hadn't skipped a part of the note that said what those rules were.

_I thought that she said something about rules._

Rereading it again, he was sure. He was definitely missing something.

_Well, maybe she only wrote that to give me forewarning that she wanted to talk to me about it. Women. They should come with instructions._

Shaking his head and placing the note down on the counter, he went to the cupboard and pulled out his frying pan, only noticing the green post-it note stuck to its center once he had placed it on the stove.

_Well, this is getting interesting._

Peeling the sticky note from the pan, he read.

**Rule #1**

**It's never just sex.**

**This is a relationship not just an arrangement.**

He breathed again and back was his beautiful smile.

_Yup, this should be interesting._

Quickly going to the fridge, he pulled out the eggs, milk and orange juice. Each container holding its own note. Going numerically, he started with the eggs.

**Rule #2**

**It doesn't matter if anyone knows or not.**

**Catherine and Greg already do, and as long as I have you, **

**I don't care about the rest.**

Next was the milk after he cracked a few eggs into a bowl.

**Rule # 3**

**Work is work, home is home.**

**We keep them separate, but in **

**both worlds we need to trust each other.**

**Honesty always, even if it hurts.**

Pouring in the milk and whisking it up quickly, he poured it into the frying pan. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, he poured the OJ, stirred the eggs, and read the fourth note.

**Rule #4**

**We don't see other people.**

**Kind of goes without saying, I think, I hope.**

He laughed, he was liking these rules so far. Seeing that his eggs were coming close to being done, he went for the bag of bread, only to find another note stuck to it. Popping a couple slices into the toaster, he returned to the small green square.

**Rule #5**

**Dates are allowed.**

**Just as long as no bodily harm is caused.**

**We've had our fair share of that already.**

**And no Chuck-E-Cheese!**

Finding no more notes in sight, he plated his breakfast and ate quickly before heading for the shower to finish getting ready for work. Upon opening the bathroom door, he noticed yet another sticky note with the black familiar lettering on it, posted to the center of the mirror. Coming closer, he noticed that it was two notes, one directly on top of and covering the other. Taking them both down, he read the first.

**Gil, **

**If you came to the bathroom before going to **

**start the coffee pot, put this note back on the mirror, **

**(don't peak at the one under this)**

**turn yourself around and go do that first. **

**It will all make sense. Trust me.**

**Love, Sara**

**xoxo**

The chuckle that escaped echoed in the small room as he read it.

_She certainly thinks of everything._

Peeling the top note off, he read the one below.

**Rule #6**

**Leave your toothbrush and clothes behind, **

**but you don't need it as an excuse to come back.**

**Always come back and I'll do the same.**

Looking down at the cup that housed his toothbrush on the countertop, he noticed that it now had a friend. His blue toothbrush was now accompanied by her red one. If possible, the smile on his face grew wider.

_It's amazing how much I love this woman._

Turning to the linen closet behind him, he opened it for a towel, only to find another green paper.

**Rule #7**

**Always share the crossword.**

**P.S. I hope these are going in order. **

**If not, know that you missed something.**

**I'm trying my hardest to visualize your routine **

**and do this without waking you.**

**Good Luck.**

**S.**

_It's scary sometimes how well she knows me._

Fifteen minutes later, after showering, a towel wrapped around his waist, Grissom reemerged into the bedroom to dress. He was hoping to find more notes as he grabbed a pair of pants, and sighed disappointedly when he didn't. Going to the closet for a shirt, he was debating between the grey shirt and the blue one. Even he had to admit, that sometimes he was just like a girl when it came to his wardrobe. Finally grabbing the grey one, he unhappily moved to the dresser, only to grin when he opened up his underwear drawer for boxers and socks, to find another note.

**Rule #8**

**I am quite fond of "Honey" and "Dear."**

**P.S. Wear the blue shirt, it makes your eyes sparkle.**

_Yup, definitely scary._

With a laugh, he mumbled to the empty room,

"Stalker."

Turning back to the closet, he switched the shirts and began dressing.

Fully dressed, he went out to the kitchen again, filling a travel cup with coffee before turning to his brief case, opening it to check that he had everything, even though he knew he never opened it after bringing it home.

Apparently Sara was aware that he did this as well, for there was a note right on top of the files.

**Rule #9**

**Shared breakfasts are splendid…**

**so long as I'm not cooking.**

**We both know how bad that would turn out.**

Nodding his head in agreement, Grissom could vaguely remember from their time in San Francisco a small grease fire from Sara attempting to make a stir-fry for his birthday. Hockey-puck style blackened pancakes and the fire alarm of four different apartments going off when she attempted breakfast in bed. Three different microwave explosions from cooking things in closed containers for far too long. And her entire kitchen covered in chocolate ice cream after she tempted fate with chocolate milk shakes…forgetting to put the cover on the blender.

_Although, that one turned out kind of fun._

Grissom remembered with a smirk and a chill down his spine. Who knew Sara Sidle covered in chocolate ice cream could be so exciting?

_The woman can dismantle a car and do any math problem faster than any person I've ever met, but she can barely make toast._

Shaking his head free of those memories, he gathered all the notes together, placing them in his pocket.

"Coat, where did I put that thing?!" He muttered as he looked around, finally seeing the sleeve draped over the back of the sofa upstairs. "There you are." Picking it up, he threw it over his shoulders and slip his arms through, lifting an eyebrow when his left hand encountered paper in the sleeve. "Hello." He greeted the note as he pulled it from its hiding place.

**Rule #10**

**Cuddle on the sofa with me drinking coffee.**

**Always.**

**P.S. I hope you didn't get a papercut with this one.**

Thankfully he hadn't. Adding the note to his pants pocket with the others, he checked his coat pocket for his wallet. Again, just another part of his daily routine. Sure enough, his wallet held a little green sticky.

**Rule #11**

**Gifts aren't necessary. **

**Just your love. **

**That's all I want and all I need.**

**Having you love me is the best gift **

**I have ever received, and I plan **

**on treasuring it for as long as you'll let me.**

So maybe there was one rule that he would have to bend…a lot. What could he say, he loved the thought of giving her gifts. Adding the paper to the rest, he headed towards the door, briefcase and coffee in hand. Stopping where he kept his field kit by the door, he did the same as he did with his briefcase, only this time opening it up to check his supply levels.

_Low on gloves. High on Sara's rules._

Pulling out the paper, he chuckled.

**You're almost out of gloves.**

**Rule #12**

**I must stick with my original plan and say no **

**to anything inappropriate in the lab.**

**But since that isn't a fun one, I'll give **

**you two on this sheet!**

**Rule #13**

**Hold my hand in public.**

**And in private.**

**I like your hands, they make me feel safe.**

She had told him that once, back in California after they had been together about a month. At the time he hadn't fully understood how important that feeling of protection was to her. Before he could think any further about that, his eye caught another paper, posted to the back of the front door. Standing up, he quickly peeled it from the door to read it.

**Rule #14**

**We can discuss the past, but not rehash it.**

**The past is the past, what happened, happened **

**and we can't change that, but we're here now.**

**Let's live for now and for the future.**

**P.S. Don't forget your phone.**

The stalker comment slipped from his lips again as he patted down his pockets only to discover that he had indeed forgotten his cell phone…and his keys. Finding the phone on the coffee table, he opened it to check for messages, only to find another post-it, folded up and placed on top of the buttons. Making quick work of the creases, he read.

**Rule #15**

**Late night, or in our case, day, **

**phone calls are fully allowed. **

**Suggested even.**

**P.S. Keys are on the corner table.**

"Scary, scary woman. How the hell did I ever get to work on time without her?"

Sure enough, there were his keys, another note stuck to the table beneath them.

**Rule #16**

**I always want to know how you feel.**

**Good or bad. **

**I want for you to know how I feel as well.**

**P.S. I love you, and I'm glad **

**that we're giving this a shot.**

**S.**

**xoxo**

Now he just felt giddy. This little goose hunt for rules was not only entertaining and helpful in getting ready, but it was making him love her so much more than he thought possible. Taking a quick look around to make sure he had everything, which he was more certain of today after all of Sara's reminders, he concluded that he was set to go and grabbing all of his things, walked out the door, turning back around to lock it.

_Should have guessed that one._

Covering the lock was another note, somehow he hadn't expected that one, but he should have. Pulling it down, he noticed that it was like the one on the mirror, with it having two notes. Before pulling the sheets apart, he read the top one.

**Rule #17**

**Never leave without saying goodbye.**

That one didn't have him smiling, but rather regretting the past yet again. Taking a deep breath, he flipped to the second paper.

**Rule #18**

**Never leave.**

Sad as it was, he did manage a smile at that one.

_Never leave? I think I can handle that. I lost her once, almost lost her twice, not doing that again._

Making quick work of the lock, he headed straight to his car, placing his kit and briefcase on the passenger seat. Getting in, he pulled the seatbelt out to buckle it, finding another note stuck to the harness.

**Rule #19**

**Lots of strings attached.**

**P.S. You better be reading this one, if not,**

**that would mean that it either fell off, or you're**

**not wearing your seat belt. **

**I'll just hope that you read it and try not to worry.**

**Drive carefully.**

**Love, Sara.**

Starting the engine came with yet another laugh. Grissom was fairly certain he hadn't smiled or laughed this much in years. It was quite rejuvenating he found. The drive to the lab was the same amount of time as it always was, but it seemed much longer for him as he was very eager to just look at the beautiful woman he was so head over heals in love with. Finally making it, he first spotted her car, so he knew she was there, it was just a matter of where.

"Hello Judy. How are you doing today?" Grissom greeted kindly as he stepped up to the reception desk.

"Oh, I'm good Dr. Grissom, thank you." She smiled sweetly at him, before shuffling about her desk. "Here are your messages Sir, oh and this was left for you by Sara." She handed him a stack of pink papers followed by a simple white envelope with 'Grissom' written across the front.

Stepping to the side some, he placed his kit and briefcase on the floor and his coffee on the desk as he opened the envelope, his curiosity getting the best of him. As he had hoped, it was another green post-it, making his heart race in anticipation.

**Gil,**

**I get the feeling that you are standing in**

**reception reading this. **

**Knowing you, you couldn't wait. **

**I hope you have found**

**all of my notes so far. There is only one rule left.**

**I'd like for you to go to your office for it.**

**Rule #20**

**Love me forever.**

**I'll see you momentarily.**

**Love, Sara.**

"Dr. Grissom? Are you okay?" Judy asked in concern, his wide smile a strange sight for her to see except for a few times after he had conducted an experiment with positive results.

"Hmm?" He looked up to see the worried expression on her face, and only grinned further. "I am better than okay Judy. You have yourself a great night." With that he picked up his things and walked away, leaving a stunned Judy in his wake.

Regardless of the protest in his knees, Grissom just about ran to his office. It being still several hours before shift, there weren't many people about, so no one to question his sudden speed. Opening the door to find his office dark was not surprising, not that it even registered in his mind for more than a second. His mind was purely focused on his last note. Flipping the lights on, he took a quick scan of the room, trying to spot the green note. It took several glances around before he spotted something, not the green note he was looking for, but something else. Momentarily forgetting his search for the note, he put down his things and approached the object questioningly, knowing that it wasn't his and that it didn't belong in his office.

_A suitcase? Why would there be a suitcase in…_

Before he could even finish his thought, he heard the door close and he spun around to set his eyes on the most wonderful sight he'd ever have seen.

Sara.

"Rule number twenty-one." She stated as she stepped closer to him. He watched her move, frozen to the spot. "Always kiss me goodnight."

In that moment, he was a goner, completely awe-struck and speechless. She looked no different than she did everyday, but somehow he was seeing her in a new light. Knowing that forever she was his. He was captured by every bit of her.

She had continued to step closer to him and just as she made it to stand directly before him, smiling that smile he fell for all those years ago, she motioned to the suitcase behind him.

"I, uh, thought about what you said, and well, if your offer still stands, I think that Rule Twenty-One would be easier to follow if we were under one roof." She was nervous about her approach, not entirely sure if he had been fully serious about wanting her to move in with him.

It was a few seconds before she could practically see the wheels turning in his head, connecting the dots. Then her heart started hammering in her chest as his face broke out into the largest smile she had ever seen on him.

"Really?" She was beginning to really enjoy his 'kid-on-Christmas' side, it was really rather striking. She nodded to him before speaking.

"When I was going around planting all those notes today, I realized that I don't need more time to figure this all out between us. I love you. I know that with every fiber of my being." She paused, grasping his hands. "I know that neither of us are perfect. We'll annoy each other and tick the other off, say stupid things and then take them back, but put all that aside, I know for sure that I will never find another man who loves me more than you do." She stroked his cheek lightly with her fingertips and finished. "I'm ready for this. I'm ready to be with you, fully. I'm ready to really start our life together." For the first time in weeks, her voice was filled with a confidence that he knew she felt. "I'm ready to love you."

She was ready.

So was he.

Saying screw it to Rule Number Twelve, Gil wrapped his arms around Sara's shoulders, giving her the tightest hug he could, her arms instinctively embracing his abdomen. Peppering her hair, neck, cheeks and anywhere else within reach, with kisses, he finally leaned in and gave her a long, passionate kiss, leaving her breathless.

"Remember tonight Sara, for it's the beginning of always." He whispered into her ear, both of them tightening their hold of the other.

Yes, she would remember tonight. There was no way she'd ever forget.

* * *

**-The End-**.


End file.
